Car talk — Max’s dad is showing Max the car he’s been working on. It’s something classic, but I can’t make it out. Anyway, he gets to the point of calling Max "son":
Dad: Let’s take her for a ride, son. She goes pretty damn fast.
Before we can enjoy the sweetness of the moment, Max’s sister Maggie calls to them: It’s time to greet Father O’Shea. Could they all be more Irish?!
By the way, I think Max’s dad was talking about life, not just the car. Going fast, I mean. He’s an OK guy.
Placing their bets — Catherine and Helena place a briefcase full of cash on their horse: "$100,000 on In the Pink to win." Meanwhile, Kit says, "I’ll have a $10 trifecta box. 2, 3, 6." What the hell are these people talking about?
Jenny whispers about the slew of cash Helena pulled out of the briefcase. Alice says it’s a sure thing, but Papi and Tasha say there’s no such thing. Just to prove the point in a different way, a soldier calls Tasha to attention.
Tasha: Private Brown. What are you doing here?
Soldier: I was just gonna say the same thing to you. You’re the last person I expected to see at the races.
Alice: She’s never been to a race before. Hi, I’m Alice.
Tasha: I’m just here with some friends.
And some of those friends saunter by — Catherine and Helena, holding hands, ask who’s joining them in the sky box. Kit and Papi say they’d rather hang with the people. Tasha looks like she’d rather hang, period, but she just tells Private Brown they have to get back to watch their race. Private Brown says he’d better get his wife that hot dog she wants — "you know how it is with pregnant women."
Alice: Yeah. Women. Heh.
Alice. I love you, but shut up.
After Private Brown leaves, Tasha says he’s a born-again homophobe and therefore things are dire, but Alice says it’s all fine. Can you really be this naive, Alice? I guess you’re blinded by love.
The wake — A random relative expresses her sympathies. Max’s dad introduces Max as "Max, Fiona’s cousin’s son from California." Max just walks away.
Some other guy: And any word yet from your other daughter, Moira?
Sigh. Why am I getting this urge to call my dad?
The sky box, emphasis on the box —
Catherine pours some champagne for herself and Helena. She proceeds to f— Helena against the window of the sky box as In the Pink wins. Make that almost wins.
Damn. Talk about a buzzkill.
Down in the stands, Jenny — of course — managed to bet on the winner, so she has $300 to collect. Alice can’t believe it.
Alice: But you didn’t even care.
Jenny: I’m going to go get the money.
Alice: But you didn’t even care.
I think that just about sums up the difference between them. And, strange as it may be, it sums up the reasons I love them both. Call me (and them) crazy.
Out in the rabble hall, Catherine and Helena give Alice the bad news: This was her loss as well as theirs.
Catherine: In the Pink lost the race, and you lost your investment.
Hey, Catherine? F— you.
Alice gives Helena the sort of disgusted, head-shaking look the Mahna Mahna guy gets.
Making peace — Max tells his dad he’s not planning to go to the funeral. He’s realized that the day should be about his mother, not about him.
Dad: Well, I don’t know what to say. I can’t just come out and tell everyone who you are.
Max: You don’t have to, Dad. I know who I am. I’m Max Sweeney, who used to be Moira, Bon and Fiona’s daughter.
Right on. Max looks OK with it too. That is a nice kind of peace.
Prepping for the dinner party — Bette is all about hanging the lights and interpreting for Jodi and being in charge of everything. Jodi reminds her that as a deaf person, she’s just going to miss things. And then she lets Bette ramble.
Bette: I was thinking that I might do just little place cards.
Jodi: Place cards?
Bette: Yeah. Just subtle. Small. Yeah.
Jodi: Oh, my God. [laughing and sighing] I love you so much. Come here. [after they kiss] What?
Bette: You just said that you love me. [looking at the to-do list] You know, there’s just so much, and there’s really no time at all.
Jodi: [crumpling up the to-do list and shoving it in her jeans] Oh no.
Bette: That’s not funny.
Jodi: Come get it.
Bette retrieves the list with her teeth. Yow.
And then she happily — in that Bette-licious way — says, "I have copies."
The funeral — Max watches from a distance as the ceremony progresses. Am I the only one who wants Harold and Maude to show up?