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The Hook Up: 7-7-2010

I’ve never quite had the social capability to ask a girl for her number. The people I’ve dated I’ve either met through friends or via the internet. Just the other day though, while at a music festival, this girl and I eyed each other a few times, smiles were exchanged, and later somehow ended up sitting right next to each other unintentionally in the oddest place. I felt it was weird fate.

So we talked. At one point I wanted to ask for her number but just couldn’t think of how. I also noticed she was traveling light with no phone on her to potentially give her my information. Needless to say, I created my first regrettable “missed connection.” How do I ask girls for their number? Email? Contact info? Or how do I give them mine so this doesn’t happen again? I know her basic information, if I somehow manage to find her on a social networking site, what’s the protocol to contacting her?

Summer has only begun and the music festivals are just kicking off and I want to prevent this from happening again. Help!

Anna says: The only way to get a girl’s digits is to sack up and ask her already. You’ve got the verve, you just have to take that extra leap. Make it as casual as possible if you’re worried about rejection. An example:

If you’re working the festival circuit — and it certainly seems that you are — then memorize a few upcoming events, and as you’re chatting, tell her something like, “If you like the Jonas Brothers, you should check out this other amazing virginity-obsessed group that’s performing next week. I don’t have all the details, but if you give me your email/Skype username/soul, I’ll find out and get back to you.” Obviously, don’t quote that verbatim or you’ll sound like a telemarketer.

If you liked this pick-up line, you’ll love our three-disc matchmaking set! I’m personally pretty phone-phobic, so I’d much rather ask for an email address, but it’s up to you/her. Some girls are more comfortable using different mediums than others — and don’t forget to carry a pen. Sure, in this day and age, where changing one’s Facebook status is somehow more painful than the actual break up, it’s likely that the person you’re flirting with has a phone/personal computer/crazy Japanese watch that dictates the future, but on the off-chance that she doesn’t, or it died, then having a pen is necessary to get the digits. Also, it’s sexier. Just don’t write her info on your hand. You’ll accidentally wash it, then spend the next seven hours agonizing over what that smudge on your hand used to read.

Finding this girl on a social networking site does seem a touch desperate, but so does calling Subway employees “Sandwich Artists” and that hasn’t stopped me from eating there, so what do I know? If you can find her, send her a brief message, like “Hey, remember me? We met at Lezapalooza the other week. I taught you the ins and outs of breeding alpacas! Are you going to Munchfest this summer? If so, holla!”

My girlfriend uses the cup but still doesn’t like me to go down on her while on her period. It’s pretty much the same to me and I like going down. Any suggestions on how to convince her otherwise?

Anna says: The obvious solution is to ask her if she would be so kind as to indulge your newly discovered, but no less poignant, vampire fetish. Blame it on the hotness that is Pam from True Blood or the mopey, anemic sparkle of Twilight’s latest installment, Eclipse (Team Six-Pack FTW!). Either way, it’s pretty hard to argue with a multi-million dollar franchise. Bonus points if you can do it straight-faced, and while wearing plastic fangs from Hot Topic.

If you’re too proud (i.e. too much of a wussypants) to ask her to act out a scene from Lady and the Vamp, you could try to convince her with Science!

Pros of having sex while on the rag:

-It’s easier to achieve orgasms, (and they’ll most likely be bigger, better ones) than at other times of the month because of increased sensitivity in your nether regions.

-These amazing orgasms, in turn, can reduce cramps since orgasms release endorphins, which are natural mood elevators and painkillers.

-Also, sex can help shorten the duration of your period because the release helps your tank to empty more quickly. (Yes, I just referred to the uterus as a tank. I challenge you to try to think up period metaphors that don’t involve aunts or Moses!)

If it’s a matter of her feeling “dirty” (not in the good way), ask her right after she’s taken a shower. She might be more receptive to going down once she’s shower fresh. Or offer to take one together. Double the fun, but not the cleanup!

If she’s still not budging, then cut your losses. Some girls think of their periods as just another unsexy bodily excretion, like ear wax, and no amount of eagerness or headlamps will convince her otherwise. But take heart, it’s only a few days out of the month, which leaves 305 other days out of the year for prime spelunking time.

Got a question? Send it to [email protected].

Hailing from the rough-and-tumble deserts of southern Arizona, where one doesn’t have to bother with such trivialities as “coats” or “daylight savings time,” Anna Pulley is a professional tweeter/blogger for Mother Jones and a freelance writer living in San Francisco. Find her at annapulley.com and on Twitter @annapulley.

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