The Hook Up: 3-16-2011

 
 

Femme: A feminine-appearing queer lady. Often found in line for the bathroom with four of her closest friends, drinking Miller Lite (so few calories!), wearing tapered pants, skirts, heeled footwear, or tight-fitting shirts. Femmes spend their time trying to seem as gay as possible so nearby butches will not mistake them for straight.

Friendcest: The not-altogether-queer-but-still-rampant phenomenon of sleeping with several people in your immediate circle of friends, their exes, their exes’ best friends, and half the people at the gay Starbucks you frequent. This always works out well, obviously.

FTM: A female-to-male trans person.

Gayborhood: Enclaves usually in larger cities, where queers tend to live and/or congregate. Examples include: Andersonville in Chicago, Park Slope in Brooklyn, Capitol Hill in Seattle, Decatur, Georgia, Provincetown, Mass., The Castro in San Francisco, etc. You’ll know them because of the inordinate amount of rainbow flags adorning windows, doorways, and patios. There will probably be a co-op of some kind, a feminist bookstore, a sex toy shop, and lots of Subarus adorned with “Coexist” bumper stickers.

Goddess: The preferred deity of Gen X lesbians. Often used in an attempt to smash the patriarchal, colloquial use of God-as-man imagery. As in, “Are these vegan muffins gluten-free? Thank Goddess!”

Gold Star: A lesbian who has never had sexual relations with a man.

Hasbian: A lesbian who goes straight after many years and many Michican Womyn’s Music Festivals, often surprising a great deal of her friends, and ruining several book clubs.

Heteroflexible: A mostly straight bisexual, who sometimes dips her diamonds in the rough from time to time.

Intersex: According to the Intersex Society of North America, “A person born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.” Sometimes referenced at potlucks by people who want to brag about reading Jeffrey EugenidesMiddlesex.

Lesbro: A straight man who gets along really well with lesbians and often joins their entourages. The classier version, according to a friend, is Lesbeau.

LGBTQQI: The queer community’s attempt to be as inclusive as possible. Will probably have several letters added to this by 2012. For the time, it stands for: Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Queer, Questioning (as in, you’re not sure, but you might be gay), and Intersex.

Lipstick Lesbian: Or High Femme. A really femmey woman.

LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation): A woman who is queer as all get out in college, wears Bikini Kill shirts.

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