The gossip aggregator: Roseanne Barr, Paula Abdul and more

Although we AfterEllen bloggers don’t have any interest in becoming the next Perez Hilton — because, well, we’re just cooler than that — we do occasionally peruse the gossip blogs and the Page Sixes (uh, Pages Six?) of the world. So we thought, hey, why not bring you some of the most interesting (and slightly less trashy) tidbits, all in one post for your gossipy pleasure? Consider this the first “gossip aggregator” post, or Gaggregator for short. If you like it, we’ll try to do it a couple of times a week.

This just in: Right after I posted the first version of this, TMZ reported that Ellen DeGeneres has hurt her back and will do this week’s shows from a hospital bed. We know the show must go on, Ellen, but really: You should give yourself a break once in a while. I could have told you the coffeetable-straddling would get to you eventually!

1. The New York Post is reporting that Roseanne Barr might replace Rosie O’Donnell on The View.

The Post also lists other possibilities, like Whoopi Goldberg and Bette Midler. Actually, Roseanne’s not a bad idea — she really held her own on Bill Maher’s show a while ago. But I must repeat my Sherri Shepherd plea. Also, how about Nora Dunn, doing her Pat Stevens character?

2. TMZ has video highlights of Paula Abdul‘s latest crazy appearance, this time on QVC. I don’t even know what to say, except no, Paula, you don’t look like a pumpkin, but you might turn into one if you don’t get some help before midnight.

3. This isn’t really gossip, but Best Week Ever notes that Mandy Moore is "trying that singing thing again," and that you can hear her attempts at Idolator. Not bad, Mandy, but, uh, not great. Something about her voice, or maybe something about her belief in the greatness of her voice despite all evidence to the contrary, reminds me of Amy Grant.

4. Various outlets are reporting on Jessica Sierra‘s arrest; it seems she thought she was in a Western and tried to smash a glass over some dude’s head. You know what’s weird? I can barely remember Sierra, and I was paying pretty close attention to American Idol in 2005 (she was in the top 10 that year). Oh, well; even if she’s forgettable singing-wise, I feel sorry for her, because that is not a flattering mug shot. It’s better than Nick Nolte’s, but just barely.

5. Just Jared has some pictures of Natalie Portman and Jennifer Garner at LAX, because, well, what’s more exciting than a traveling celebrity? I mean, flying? What kind of off-the-wall activity will they try next: Driving a car? Eating in a restaurant?

That’s all the gossip I can aggregate without gagging today. Post your thoughts and other juicy bits of news in the comments. (Oh, and if you don’t like the “Gaggregator” name, please suggest some alternatives! I thought about calling it “The Novak,” after the girls’ bathroom on Popular, and also in reference to a leak of a different sort.)

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