“The Good Wife” recap: “The lesbian Fed is not your friend” (Ep. 4.5)

Lana and Kalinda get to meet once again later at the office, but this meeting lacks the playful banter of before. Lana is All Business, as not only are Lockhart & Gardner unsealing the FBI’s warrant which she doesn’t want, but her apartment was broken into. The intruder didn’t take anything, just messed stuff up; a sign that Lana believes signifies Lemond’s men trying to intimidate her. But Kalinda and us both know the real story, and it’s a much worse one. And it may be the straw that begins to break Sketchy Husband’s back.

I know my shirt collar is alluringly open right now, but no joke I’m pissed.

No joke, indeed.

Marching into her apartment with a purpose, shit finally starts to get real for Kalinda. Husband is waiting on the bed; Kalinda calls the cops and tells them an intruder is in her house. She doesn’t back down from his intimidation until the fateful moment when he pulls her mirror off the wall, revealing Kalinda’s hiding place for her mysterious, serious stash that we saw at the end of last season. Gulp. Even Kalinda has to hang up with the police for that. Goddamnit.

Husband then gives some sob story about how everything is her fault because she made him love her. He can’t love anybody else; he’s tried. She’s in his head. She’s in lots of our heads, Nick. It’s not an excuse to be a dick.

After she tries to tell him for the last time that she’s not the same person he fell in love with–although who the Kalinda was that he fell in love with is intriguing–she gets up to walk away, and then shit gets even realer. He says that he was in fact in Lana’s apartment, but only to protect Kalinda. Lana’s out for her, he says. He knows because Lana’s apartment was covered with pictures of her. Yeah. Lana’s apartment: full of pictures of Kalinda. While this could just be a kinky thing (please?), Sketchy Husband’s voice says otherwise. This clearly throws Kalinda off, and she turns around.

Alas, Lana was wrong: the intruder did take something. And this something disturbs Kalinda, and it disturbs me.

“You have to know who your friends are. This lesbian Fed is not your friend.”

In brighter news, that thumb ring just really slays me.

While I was expecting a picture of Kalinda with Lemond Bishop, it appears to be a picture of her and Eli, it looks like, at the Lockhart Gardner offices. This confuses me, but whatever it means, it means that Lana is indeed targeting Kalinda in a more specific way than previously known. As if Kalinda isn’t already dealing with enough crap. Why can’t the badass queers ever have nice things?

If our hearts were at all warmed by the fact that Sketchy Husband is genuinely concerned about her, even an inch, he then proceeds to tell her to stop thinking with her vagina and then begins to sexually assault her once again until she forces him to stop and leaves. So Sketchy Husband is officially starting business in Chicago and Lana may have been using Kalinda all along. Great. Just great.

If I was Kalinda, I’d go buy myself some serious pints of Ben & Jerry’s, but Kalinda doesn’t have a lot of time to dwell. She’s back on the Lemond case, and squeezes the time in her day to discover a dead body in the trunk of a car, no big deal. To be honest, I’m slightly confused about what exactly is happening here, but whatever it is, it’s all stacking up against Lemond Bishop, even if he wasn’t completely at fault: he’s still the kingpin. He asks Alicia to write up guardianship papers so his sister can take care of Adorable Son.

Flowers look pretty.

In straw poll news–Sweet Jesus, this thing is still going on–Peter has won by a landslide. But in WTF news, Maddie has become very chatty with Indira Starr after the blog post. The fact that she’s talking to Indira Starr at all leaves Eli feeling like this, which I agree with.

Cotton Candy machine, though. What’s there to be upset about?

Maddie then calls Alicia at the end of the day to let her know that she’s decided to drop her support of Peter but hopes they can still be friends. Alicia’s like, yeah, sure, whatever, watching a drug dealer’s son giving his dad a last hug right now before the Feds drag him off, gotta go.

Empathetic TV drug dealers: fighting the War on Drugs one hug at a time.

Maybe it’s just me, but Maddie’s decision here seems way too finicky. So you talk to one dumb chick who sold a fake story and you decide to pull your support that is apparently so meaningful? What is going on, here? There’s just something weird about it all. And indeed, in the preview for next week’s episode, we’re told of an “election shocker,” and a scene in which Peter says to Maddie, “You used my wife.” You used Alicia? You’re going down.

Finally, to sum up all the cheeriness of this episode, Lana and Kalinda meet yet again in that dark Lockhart Gardner hallway. Lana’s feeling a little cheerier, as her target is about to be arrested, but Kalinda’s sorta down because, you know, she’s thinking about how their whole relationship might have been a lie. When Lana sees the concern on Kalinda’s face, she’s all, hey. It’s work. Don’t let it get in the way.

Kalinda: Get in the way of what?
Lana: Of us.
Kalinda: But there is no us. There never was any us.

People may say Kalinda thinks with her vagina, but she doesn’t. She FEELS with her vagina, and you better not have violated those feels, FBI Agent! Curses. This was not how I wanted things to play out. This was such a good episode, yet full of so many devastating things for Kalinda. I don’t know what to feel!

What did you guys think? Is Lana the evil agent that Sketchy Husband says she is, or is this just another ploy in his game to get Kalinda back to his side? How do you feel about Lemond Bishop? And I’ll ask it again: what is up with Maddie?

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