The Good Wife schedule has been rather sporadic over the last month, but this week’s episode starts the final all-new five episode homestretch. And while things were Eli and Peter heavy this week, there were still many lady highlights, including Elsbeth AND the return of Amanda Peet — with bangs! In fact, almost every recent female favorite makes an appearance, from Maddie Hayward to even good ol’ Jackie! All the single ladies, all the single ladies! Which brings us to the important question: WHEN are they going to get Beyonce up in here?
Anyway, we begin with Diane telling Alicia that in her role as equity partner, one of her newest responsibilities is to bring down the budget on the Bishop case. (Yeah, remember him?) Alicia’s like, “Oh, right, well that’s actually Cary’s thang,” and Diane replies, “Yes, and Cary’s thang is now your thang because you’re paying us thousands of dollars so you can be a semi-boss,” and Alicia’s like, “Right. Achoo!” Because she and Will are also getting over horrible colds which they both have because they made out.
Ohhh, right, that happened.
Alicia obviously feels awkward about approaching Cary about Bishop and money and being his semi-boss now, but she tries, feebly, and it is just so sad and uncomfortable all over the place. We knew this was coming after last episode, when Alicia shook hands with the other rich fancy pant partners and Cary and Kalinda stood in outsider solidarity from behind the glass walls — nothing gold can stay, Ponyboy — but still, I hate it. Cary and Alicia’s friendship makes both of them more likeable, and throwing down the curtain between them just yanks even more warmth out of this Lockhart Gardner joint. Sigh.
But luckily, we have Elsbeth and Kyle MacLachlan to bring some comedic relief to Chicago, and man, do they bring it. The best scene of the whole episode is when MacLachlan, here playing DOJ Douche Josh Perotti, meets Elsbeth for lunch at what appears to be an upscale Indian restaurant, smoothies already on the table when she arrives. He ushers her to sit alongside him on the same side of the table. She complies with her now-beloved cautious or confused or skeptical or excited or nervous or genius look. Who knows what’s actually going on inside her head, behind those looks? That’s what makes them so beautiful!
She asks for a cease and desist on Eli Gold. Without batting an eyelash on his pretty head, Josh responds that he’s ordered food for them already; hope that’s OK. As more and more dishes pile up on the table in an increasingly lavish and hilarious display, Elsbeth whips out a newspaper and reads from the editorial Josh contributed to, which says he knows that Eli is guilty of shady campaign business; he just knows it! He laments, yeah, they spelled my name wrong. Want some naan?
Since that whole wiretap thing didn’t work out; he says he’s discovered a new way to bring Eli down: conspiracy charges. He says he has the stuff to back it up; Elsbeth remains skeptical and bewildered and gorgeous. But at the same time, she may be strangely interested in Josh because he seems almost — almost — as bizarre as her. She says, “Do you WANT me to bring you to court?” He pauses, turns his full body towards her, and says with perfect dramatic delivery, “I can’t WAIT for you to take me to court.” Then he calls her lips pillowy. She backs away and awkwardly scrapes the table across the floor so she can make her escape. He smiles calmly and takes another sip of his smoothie.
After the Indian food, Elsbeth and Eli shoot back at Josh and the DOJ by bringing a defamation lawsuit, even though they don’t plan on winning it. But they can find out in this civil court what they’re going to bring against him in federal court, or something awfully confusing like that. Or not necessarily confusing, just ziggy zaggy ridiculousness, which I guess is how the law works. And Elsbeth somehow always does makes it work. Oh, but the really important part of all this is that Kalinda helps Elsbeth figure out who Josh has been meeting with, which they need to know. They find this out by snooping at a restaurant, and when Kalinda and Elsbeth are on screen together, their kooky pairing is so perfect and wonderful that all is absolutely well in my world.
When Elsbeth asks Kalinda what her plan is, she responds, “I don’t have a plan.” Elsbeth says, “You’re a crazy woman!,” with a tone of utmost respect and awe. And when Kalinda actually starts to work her easy magic to get the information they need, Elsbeth is so impressed that she can’t help but break into hysterical giggles.
Way to play it cool, amateur.
Just saying, if there was an Elsbeth and Kalinda spin-off show, I would watch it in a second.