So many enjoyable things on this week’s episode of The Good Wife! Here’s a brief preview: the return of Elsbeth Tascioni, utterly kooky and wonderful as always! The return of Maura Tierney! Diane Lockhart speaking French! The not-so-shocking reveal of Peter’s racism! Abortion!
But wait, I don’t think I dwelled long enough on the Diane Lockhart speaking French part!
As usual, we didn’t see enough of Kalinda, yet were still subjected to just enough tantalizing amount of leather skirt to make our hearts and loins ping and yearn for more. Kings, why do you torment us so?
Here’s the really torturous part, though: we’re subjected to Alicia and Peter continuing to have super gross sex. We start the episode, in fact, with Alicia’s lovely exposed skin and skimpy black underthings, all up in the act of sexy stuff, which I appreciate, of course. Yet while this scene is brief—less than 10 seconds—and vague—we never see the man’s face—we know that it’s with Mr. Big. We quickly cut to Alicia making pancakes for her kids in the morning, staring dreamily into the distance, distinctly more disheveled-but-not-too-disheveled-because-come-on-she’s-Alicia than usual, presumably distracted by thoughts of all that super gross sex she’s probably been having. Her daughter then comes in and remarks on how great her hair is looking. She says it looks “cool.” Ew, you just commented on your mom’s sex hair.
Golly, you think so?
Thankfully, we are rescued from this icky-feeling scene by a phone call for Alicia from Elsbeth Tascioni. She quickly rushes out of the room, as does Zach, who is busy working on some research for his father’s campaign, like all normal teenagers do. Daughter—is it horrible that I always forget Daughter’s name? And is she still dating Angst Boy, or what?—is left sitting alone, contemplating her family’s really healthy amount of bonding time.
Before we get to meet Elsbeth Tascioni, however, we’re greeted by another pleasant female face—Maura Tierney’s. Yes, we finally get another glimpse of Maddie Hayward! She’s speaking to a crowd of old businessmen, cracking jokes and assuring them that she’s the kind of feminist who wants you to make money. I didn’t even know this was a category of feminism, but, sure! Maddie Hayward has turned into a tough character for me, because she seems so calculatingly awful, yet I sort of love how awful she is. And really, how hard am I rooting for Peter, anyway?
Hello again, old man.
She slips in a brief yet clearly affecting dig about racial bias into the end of her speech, which Zach has alerted Eli that she’s about to go after Peter about. She also exchanges some words with Peter about planning upcoming debates. Eli and Peter want one; Maddie wants FOUR. However many she ends up getting, I certainly hope we get to see these debates, because I already know they are going to be golden. Afterwards, Eli, Peter, and George stand around and discuss what to do about the race thing. Eli says, “Talk to black people!” George says, “Ignore it, dude! Never talk about race!” The eternal which-way-to-not-look-racist white man struggle!
Being powerful white men is hard.
We then thankfully get back to Alicia, who has come into a police station looking for Elsbeth. Elsbeth Tascioni, played by Carrie Preston, is a fellow lawyer who has been supportive to a number of Good Wifers in past seasons, and everybody bends over backwards to return the favor in this episode. And she is indeed in a bit of a pickle. Alicia soon realizes why she had to meet her at a police station: Dear old Elsbeth is behind bars.
Accordingly, we don’t get to see her being so crazy good and whip-smart in the courtroom this episode, but instead just get to enjoy all her amazingly hilarious qualities by themselves as she’s stuck in the slammer. Do people use the word slammer anymore? I don’t think so. Anyway, she’s in there because she’s been arrested for questioning someone (they say harassing, I say tomato) at a local college. It seems this has all been a set-up to keep Elsbeth away from her duties on her current case on purpose, but then again, who knows, maybe Elsbeth really was just being particularly Elsbeth that day. The responsibilities of the case are now temporarily thrown into Lockhart Gardner’s hands. It deals with a young woman, an Olympic athlete in track, who is being denied a $5 million endorsement deal because the commercial she filmed for it never actually aired. We get to see a glimpse of this ill-fated commercial, which means we get to see a glimpse of a whole lot of great Olympic butts.