Ew. Let’s take a necessary second to discuss what is clearly an extremely unhealthy sexual relationship here, at least on Alicia’s part. While Peter and Alicia have been getting it on recently, it seems to be a device Alicia uses to try to erase anger, or hurt, or annoyance, or whatever emotions she needs to rid herself of at the moment. For example, the first gross scene after the Battle of the Crazy Moms in Alicia’s apartment at Thanksgiving; the sex in the tour bus last week meant to fulfill what may have been a sexual fantasy with someone else in Alicia’s mind (still fuzzy on that part); and now this wine soaked, blinded-by-anger request. Not good, Alicia. Not good. Maybe you should discuss it with Kalinda?
In any case, we’re spared the full discomfort this week, as her advancement is interrupted by a reporter walking up and delivering the anticipated religion question. Maddie doesn’t even blink, but owns up: yep, she’s an atheist. Sorry if that offends, but she doesn’t see the point in hiding who she is. OK, so you do like her a little more when she’s actually straightforward. Peter says that belief is especially important to him because he was in jail and sometimes faith is all you have there? I can’t believe you just pulled the jail card? For religion? I mean I know it’s actually a true statement for a lot of people, but if it’s not, gross. Inspired by Maddie’s honesty, wine, and her desire to piss everyone off like everyone has pissed her off, Alicia then decides to go back on her previous promise. Giving a big smile, she says: “I’m an atheist,” finished with a big wink to Eli. Oh, Alicia. I want you to stop having angry sex with Peter, but I do like it when you’re sassy.
Lockhart Gardner ends up getting their extension on their repayment, mostly due to Nathan Lane admitting on the stand that J. Fox is kind of a sleaze and so his arguments shouldn’t be trusted. While he has essentially saved their asses, and everyone else is celebrating with champagne—because champagne is what you do to help save yourself from further financial ruin, right? Right—Nathan Lane is still being very Charlie Brown about life. Clearly, he needs a healthy dose of Cary. And without much Kalinda action, the Nathan Lane-Cary bromance is my favorite thing right now, and I need it, too.
Cary sees Lane staring forlornly at the elevator doors as they close in the Lockhart Gardner hallway, briefcase in hand, alone, as if he has been staring at the doors opening and closing for a while, never actually getting on, adrift in his thoughts. Cary pauses, decides to approach him. Lane looks over. “Cary!,” he says, his voice fraught with a type of relief, broken from his reverie. (He thinks, “I’m so glad it’s you.”) Cary smiles, asks warmly, “Can I help you?”
Lane replies: “I, uh, I, er, uhh, ahh—no. No.”
What he want to say: “If only you knew, Cary. You can help. You already have.”
The world is so full of awfulness. Yet, blondie, you always seem so good.
They discuss Michael J. Fox; Lane is disheartened about the law and his possible future in it. He likes things that have order, precision.
What he says (about the law): “This is…messy.”
What he means (about Cary): “This is….messy, the mixed up feelings I have for you, inside.”
Well. I am charming, aren’t I?
It appears that Nathan Lane may be leaving, now that Lockhart Gardner has gotten their stay, and he is off to take the bar and (maybe) pursue his own career in law. But his love for Cary…it will live forever in my mind. May you find peace, Nathan Lane.
As everyone drinks the champagne, Alicia sits moodily in her office, “doing work” (being angry), and Diane comes in to say that she’s being rude and needs to come out and act appreciative. Alicia says, “Swell. So, fuck you very much, too.” Actually, she doesn’t say that. I’m saying it for her. Diane continues, telling her to stop pouting. She tells her own heart-warming story of Moving On Up: the only reason she herself was ever made a partner was because the old boss needed a female presence, not because of her actual worth. She says, you don’t complain. You just take what you can get in this world, especially when you’re a lady. And then she leaves.
Buck up, sister.
I hate this speech, no matter how true it is, and I want Alicia to refuse to listen to it. I want her to say, “Thanks but no thanks, guys, I’ll keep my $600,000 and my dignity, smell ya later.” And from the still-deeply-disappointed look on her face, you almost believe she will. But in a few moments, she emerges from her office as Diane knew she would. She makes the rounds, thanking all the other equity partners in the room, saying they won’t be disappointed. It is a line, a speech, mechanical and empty, and the look on Diane’s face right before the screen fades to black shows it: they’ve won, but they’ve lost. Alicia’s won, but she’s lost. She got her promotion, and Diane convinced her to take it, but Alicia isn’t going to bow down in graciousness past what she’s required. Something precious has been broken, and everyone knows it.
Hi, Nameless Lesbians. Thanks so much for this opportunity.
ChumHum guy and his girl are fine, by the way, after David Lee pulls a gallon and a half of real low moves which, once again, make me hate him for now. They make the prenup better and live happily ever after, probably, maybe. Who cares?
What were your thought on the episode? How are you feeling about Diane and Will right about now? Do you think things will be different between them and Alicia? What are your continuing thoughts on Maddie? And most importantly, what would you subpoena Kalinda for?