One of Fox’s arguments against Lockhart Gardner is that they’ve been reigning in more settlements for their clients on purpose instead of taking things to court, to take in the quick cash for their debt problems. Someone that can be called in to testify about this is Alicia, who recently helped bring in that big settlement when she was stuck in Minnesota. And who better to bring her her subpoena to appear in court than Kalinda?
OK, I was wrong, this was actually the Kalinda highlight of the episode, because even though it was only five seconds long, I can see this being the beautiful beginning of some deliciously inappropriate fanfic, right there. I subpoena you to zip up my leather boots every morning! I subpoena you to drink hard liquor with me after work every single day! I subpoena you to stop sleeping with your husband, seriously, like now! I subpoena you to breathe more warmth into my cold, dark, lifeless apartment, but not too much warmth because I know you would never change me! I subpoena you to lick ice cream cones with me and rewrite those erotic scenes that were wasted on that piece of trash I used to be married to earlier in this season! I subpoena you to work so late at the office that you and I will be the only ones left and then we’ll lock all the doors!
And, well, anyway, this is a game that could go on for a long time. But I guess the show must go on. I guess.
Alicia has also recently found out that Cary—bright eyed and bushy tailed, recently-returned-to-the-firm Cary!—has been offered an equity partner share, as well. So, that’s weird. And then she gets pressured by Eli and George about her views on religion, since they’ve decided to go after Maura Tierney in the election about being an atheist and want to make sure that Alicia and Peter can still be seen as the caring Christian couple in the race. So between realizing that she may not be so special in the promotion department, and being subpoenaed, and being forced into agreeing that she’s a God-fearing Jesus-believer, Alicia starts to slide into this “I don’t even care, I really don’t even care” mode where she just aggressively giggles at everything, which is just wonderful. And then! And then. When she actually is interrogated by Michael J. Fox on the stand, after defending Lockhart Gardner absolutely perfectly for a good three or four questions, he reveals that it’s not merely her and Cary who are up for equity partners, but FIVE total associates. FIVE people, all who will be contributing $600,000, at a time when the firm needs the money. Alicia wasn’t rewarded for her hard work: she was just a pawn in a money game.
Shady balls, Lockhart Gardner. Shady balls.
Alicia’s reaction to having a bad day earlier has now fully bloomed into anger, a rage and hurt that makes her cold and blunt. She shows this at a leadership forum that night, a fancy campaign event for Maddie and Peter, wherein Alicia downs wine and is a badass to everyone she meets in a scene chock full of amazingness. She brushes off both Eli and George—sorry, I still can’t remember George’s actual name in this show—in quick, biting succession, in a manner that I liked to think evoked the opposite of a good Oprah give-away: And YOU don’t get a car! And YOU don’t get a car!
This glass is the only one I trust. It’s just you and Oprah, glass.
Which then brings her to Maddie, who definitely doesn’t get a car.
Alicia: Hi, Maddie.
Maddie: Alicia. It’s been a long time.
Alicia: Yep. You have any new friends?
Maddie: Just so you know, Alicia, I didn’t break off our friendship. And if you could let go of this victimhood pose that you’re hanging on to–
Alicia: You know what you can do with your vic–
And then Peter breaks it up, ruining things like always. What should Maddie have done with her victimhood, Alicia?! This burnfest is so good. And it makes you really dislike Maddie even more, because there is nothing so infuriating as pulling the “victim” card to toss around blame and make someone feel like crap. In response, Alicia turns to Peter and starts to tell him how much she would love to get him into a bathroom right about now.