The real heartbeat of this episode, though, is Diane. It’s quite clear at this point that this is Diane’s season, and I’m not complaining one bit. Yes, Alicia and Cary and the plans to jump ship are all very intriguing, but it’s Diane’s turmoil that I’m left still thinking about after the show ends each week; it’s her presence that commands every scene she’s in. And if we so far have a season with a whole lot less Kalinda, a whole lot more Diane is the only acceptable substitute in my book. I know she’s about to marry a dude and everything, but let’s be honest, Diane is pretty much ours.
And in this episode, we get to see Happy Diane! Diane realizing that the shackles of Lockhart Garden being forcibly removed from her hands might actually be freeing. Happy Diane is somehow just as sexy as Serious Diane, which is a rare and special quality in a woman. We see her shooting guns with Kurt, kissing him, smiling, ignoring calls from work. Kurt calls it all a turn on. Well duh, Kurt.
We continue to get more glimpses of Diane as a real person outside of work as, after their shooting session, she and Kurt run into her oldest friends from law school, who proceed to get into an argument with Kurt over gun control, ie., the Second Amendment v. Sandy Hook, which is the argument of my worst nightmares, because I am squarely on the side of Diane’s friends, except whenever I try to talk to a Second Amendment person I end up shaking and crying a lot more than Diane’s friends did. Basically, it is a bad scene and I’ve learned to avoid it at all costs.
Yet, I somehow still like Kurt. I like Kurt a lot, and Diane does, too, even though a firm but lovingly concerned talk from her friends later—they find a Sarah Palin book Kurt has given her in her apartment; their concern is understandable–makes her second-guess their upcoming marriage a little. This second-guessing continues when she pushes Kurt about finally meeting some of his friends, who turn out to be a bunch of strapping young ladies in a bar, all of whom probably think Ted Cruz is a dreamboat. Or maybe not. Even they don’t look THAT evil.
But, amazingly, Diane doesn’t care. Okay, she cares, but she still loves Kurt, anyway. And there is something about this relationship that is deeply romantic and deeply wonderful, and while Kurt waits anxiously in the courthouse in front of the Marriages & Civil Unions department later in the episode to see if she’ll show, with a look on his face that says he wouldn’t necessarily be surprised if she didn’t, none of us are surprised when she does. And while part of me is slightly sad this is over and done with so fast, with so little fanfare in the courthouse, I also can’t see either Diane or Kurt doing it any other way. Diane Lockhart in a frilly white dress? Please.
However, before she can revel in marital bliss—or even tell anyone about it—concerns about Lockhart Gardner’s future have been creeping back into her free-of-Lockhart-Gardner happiness, a happiness we always knew would be temporarily. Because it’s still her name on the office walls, goddammit, and she still cares, particularly when those fourth years continue to just be so freaking sloppy with their biznass.
First of all, unrelated to Florrick Agos, we learn that one of the fourth years actually DID sexually harass the paralegal by falsely sending an email inviting her to the office of the Old and Crazy Partner during his lunch hour, during which he apparently sleeps totally naked from the waist down. This itself is funny. Ha! Old and crazy! Kalinda and Elsbeth confirm this penis-airing lunch hour by making an unexpected visit, during which Elsbeth is horrified and Kalinda’s like, “Eh, I’ve seen better, old man.”
However, sending unknowing people who work beneath you in to see the penis-airing creepy old man for laughs IS sexual harassment, so, funny joke, bros. We also discover that one of the dissenting fourth years has been supplying Viola Walsh with incriminating information about Lockhart Gardner for the case, because he thinks this is a good idea for Florrick Agos or something, because the fourth years are the worst. They also demand that Alicia start downloading some of the files of clients that have agreed to jump ship with them, in case Lockhart Gardner withholds them out of bitterness after all is said and done. This is, of course, stealing and probably illegal and Alicia really really doesn’t want to do it but she is the only one that has the ability to get past the partners-only firewalls on the computers. And, of course, Diane just happens to try to locate one of her files at the same time Alicia’s downloading it. Whoops. Diane also starts to notice the rugs that are rolled up in Alicia’s office, the artwork that isn’t hanging on the walls. Why are you guys so bad at this?
But the shit really starts to hit the fan when Diane meets with the client whose file she had been cockblocked from by Alicia, a client played by the always lovely Sonja Sohn from The Wire. Playing off of her suspicions, Diane wheedles away at Sonja about her possible move to a new firm, even going to the point of saying, “Alicia told me, it’s fine,” when Sonja won’t budge. At that, Sonja seems surprised but says that, you know, a law firm with the governor’s name on the letterhead is hard to pass up. Diane’s face blanches. You best watch your back, Alicia Florrick. Diane has fire in her eyes.