Alas, the gold engraved gavel is not in the bountiful gift room, but has been taken hostage by—plot twist!—Zach’s old ex-girlfriend Becca, Eli’s nemesis in smarminess, played by Dreama Walker. While she and Zach aren’t girlfriend-boyfriend anymore—I mean, she’s in college now, HELLO—she and Grace are apparently still buddy buddy, because Grace is the worst.
I hate you.
Speaking of Grace, when she is not busy letting her friends steal gold-plated gavels from her house, she is out shopping with Mama Channing for some sexy school clothes. When Zach questions whether Alicia will approve of these clothes, as Zach is apparently the guru of respectability, Mama Channing says, oh, no, their mom wore the same kinds of things when she was young—except hers had more holes ripped in them. While I was able to enjoy the image of a young Alicia Florrick in ripped ‘80s fashion for a brief moment, all happiness was then cruelly ripped away from me as she continued: “Her father wouldn’t let her wear them. He said they were a young man’s rape fantasy.”
Wait, what? No, no, no, what is happening. She continues to say that to get around this, she would just let Alicia change into her sexy clothes in the car, har har! And everyone enjoys a good chuckle without the slightest discomfort about that really awful rape comment that just happened. I understand it wasn’t a comment that Mama Channing was endorsing, and that she in fact encouraged the reversal of his slut-shaming by letting her daughter wear the scandalous garments, but Good Wife writers, sweet Jesus, the words “rape fantasy” should just never be uttered on television, ever. Ever ever ever. In whatever context. OK? OK.
While I feel icky about this for a while, I’m able to shake it off slightly when Mama Channing and Alicia meet for margaritas. Alicia is in a good mood but Mama is sad because she’s been dumped. They get drizunk and end up having a heart to heart about how Alicia felt like her mother never liked her when she was a kid and Mama wishes she could start all over again and then they hug but Alicia holds on for too long and Mama Channing breaks it up by saying, “OK, OK. That’s enough.” Mama Channing IS this episode.
But to get back to the Chumhum case because I guess I have to, the few seconds we do get to see of Kalinda is when she tells Cary that he’s putting her in a weird position. Are her excellent sleuthing skills helping Lockhart Gardner, or Florrick Agos? But we all know Kalinda is in a weird position, and in some way or another always has been. This is nothing new, just another episode gone by without Kalinda casting those dark eyes at another lady or punching bros in the face or other things we want to see Kalinda do and we are all sad.
When it comes to the conclusion of the NSA stuff, Chumhum is able to win, sort of, enough to make it look good for them. But in the course of it all, The Good Wife does its job in making it clear that the NSA cares more about the government’s rights than about the rights of its people. And it shows the creepy and unjust side of surveillance when, in the course of monitoring Alicia, Chumhum aside, they raise a heightened alert for calls from a suspicious number to Alicia’s house. This ends up being Zach’s new girlfriend, Nisa, who happens to be from Somalia, who is clearly just calling Zach to cry about Becca being on the scene again. How dare you cry and also be Somalian, young lady!
I should also note that the two NSA agents on the case are two nerdy white boys, one of whom is played by The Office’s Zach Woods, who I enjoyed seeing. But this casting was just another example of TV showing us that no woman or person of color knows how to be a nerd or use a computer.
And in the end, after first refusing to give good ol’ Mandy Post the dirty scoop on Will, Diane ends up meeting with her again and, we assume, doing just that, as her personal dreams win over her loyalty. The previews for next week show what looks to be an explosive confrontation between Diane and the rest of the firm. Dun dun dun.
What were thoughts on Episode Numero Dos?