“The Glee Project” Recap (2.04): “Sexuality”

Afterwards, Naya says she was impressed. In her specific notes to the performers, she tells Charlie that he was already at an advantage for his role in the song because she finds beatboxing sexy. Note to self: Learn to beatbox. Second note to self: You will never be able to beatbox. Third note to self: Sigh.

She also points out Nellie’s nervousness, which Nellie freely admits to. My dreams are smashed, but it’s OK, Nellie. You’ll get there. And we’ll be waiting for you when you do.

In the end, the winner is Charlie. So Naya gets to mentor a dude. Disappointing, but life is disappointing sometimes.

She then announces the Big Group Number for the week, which is a mashup of “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 and “Milkshake” by Kelis. Something about this amazing mashup must strike Naya as kind of silly, because she giggles a little when she says “Milkshake,” and it makes me want to die of happiness a little.

She sashays out of the room, and we are whisked now to dance lessons with Zach. While working on getting the kids to show their sensual side, Shanna actually had a moment that struck me as rather great. Shanna is all bright perky smiles, which while delightful, aren’t necessarily sexy, and Zach somewhat brusquely points this out. Shanna takes the criticism with gutsy class. She doesn’t get too down on herself for not being “sexy enough” because she knows how she is and seems to like herself that way. Instead, she takes what Zach says into account and then tells the camera, “I need to figure out how I can make positive changes that still stay truthful to myself.”

Figure out how to make positive changes that still stay truthful to myself. Positive changes that still stay truthful to myself. Positive changes, truthful to myself. A life mantra for us all, spoken by one perky but wise 21-year-old.

After dancing and vocals with Nikki, we move on to the video shoot with Erik. The concept for the video is a high school sex ed class–cute, we’re assuming we still have the budgets and political willpower for those classes to exist! — which somehow ends up in a boys v. girls “sexy off.” Wow. If there is one thing I love, it’s boys v. girls contests, and if there’s another thing I love, it’s “sexy offs.” Haha, just kidding. I hate the first one and I have no idea what the second one even is. But I suppose I’m about to find out!

As the shooting starts, Lily says that she wants to be competition for Aylin, who she says they’re “expecting” to be the “sexy one.” Which is a true statement. And while Lily’s competitiveness has grated on my nerves in the past, I like this challenge she gives herself. Then, while magically hardly moving at all, Lily is sexy in this scene. As Zach says from off camera, “She owns every part of her body right now.” Another phrase in this episode that I love! Own every part of your body! At all times!

I also must say something about the actress they hired to play the role of the sex ed teacher, who looks like some kind of pasty unattractive goblin-type creature. This is in no offense to the actress; I think a lot of it was done with makeup. But why must the sex ed teacher always be so unattractive? Come on! Teachers are not trolls, Hollywood!

Charlie also gets all cocky during filming and decides it’s a great idea to fight with the director. Good luck with that one, young Charlie! Erik getting pissed off at the kids during the video shoots is one of my favorite things about this show thus far, and there is a lot of it happening right now.

Best of all, Nellie has thankfully gotten over some of that bashfulness from before. As Robert rather nicely puts it–people are good with words this episode!–she “gave herself permission” to lose herself in a place she wasn’t previously comfortable. Which really, is what a lot of acting is about. (Hell, this is what a lot of life is about.) And the fact that Nellie was able to do it this episode so well is a good sign for her. Phew, is this video proof that she granted herself that permission to lose herself. In fact, Miss Never-Seen-A-Boy-Naked Nellie is ALL. SEX. in this video. She is the sexiest thing on the screen. And it is glorious.

And the judges agree. She is announced “first on the call back list” for next week, essentially meaning, she wins the sexiness! And it is well deserved.

The bottom three comes down to Michael, a middle-of-the-road guy we haven’t heard much from yet who had a disastrous time during vocal practice this week; Charlie for basically being an unprofessional goof; and Tyler, once again, for blending into the crowd too much. Oh Tyler! I hate that you have to do this yet again, but I do agree with the judges this time.

Michael gets assigned “Lucky” by Jason Mraz. Tyler and Charlie both get assigned oldies they had never heard of. Tyler gladly takes his assignment, “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin, but Charlie seems somewhat pissed about his, Frank Sinatra’s “I Get a Kick Out of You.”

Here’s what bugs me about Charlie: he acts like an ass and he says it’s unintentional. And it very well may be. Except, except! He is always so quick with the overly-apologetic acceptances of guilt when called on it by the mentors. He’s all, “Oh, I know, I know, but I’m going to appear so earnestly sorry at this moment that you will really believe I can stop being an ass forever.” If he really didn’t have control over how he acted, I think he would be somewhat confused or taken aback by the criticism. I think he knows what’s he’s doing, and he thinks it’ll get him attention. He’s a player and it’s annoying.

In an interlude between commercial breaks, my irritation with Charlie is broken by the most amazing conversation of the season, which happens between Nellie and Aylin. Nellie confesses that she has absolutely no clue what the song “Milkshake” is about.

Nellie: I really used to think this song was just about milkshakes.
Aylin: Why would the milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?
Nellie: Because everyone loves milkshakes!

Right? Nellie, you are perfect.

But back to the drama. Which of the three boys will go?

Even with all my complaining about Charlie, I have to say the boy’s got flair when he performs. Swagger, as the kids say. Even if I continue to be annoyed by everything he ever says, I can’t deny that that performance of “I Get a Kick Out of You” was damn charming. OK, so fine, I loved it. I really did.

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