The “Glee” cast drops major season 4 spoilers, we run them through our Lesbian Subtext Decoder

 
 

Over the weekend, TV Guide caught up with Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith at a charity event and shook them down for some spoilers about Glee‘s fourth season. I’ve taken the liberty of running their quotes through our patented AfterEllen.com Latent Lesbian Leanings Decoder to find out what they really meant.

When last we left Rachel Berry, she was frolicking through New York City just a few miles away from Yale-bound Quinn Fabray.

Says TV Guide:

When Glee returns … Kate Hudson will have joined the cast as a hard-ass New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts dance instructor, pitting her against new student Rachel. “Dance is not Rachel’s strong point, but as a freshman it’s a requirement class she has to take,” Michele says. “It will put Rachel in a very vulnerable place, stuck with a teacher who doesn’t make it easy for her.”

Translation:

Under the tutelage of rom-com heroine Kate Hudson, Rachel will reach deep inside to discover the truth of herself through the art of dance. She’s always had a song in her heart, but now she’s got a hip-hop beat in her soul and a Metro Card to New Haven in her pocket. “It will put Rachel in a very vulnerable place,” Michele says. “And she surprises even herself when she realizes the one person she could not stand may be the one person she cannot live without.”

When last we left Kurt Hummel, he’d been inexplicably rejected from NYADA.

Says TV Guide:

And Kurt? Expect him to find his way to New York City — but not as a student at NYADA, which will hold firm on its rejection. Instead, “he will find himself in an establishment where Sarah Jessica Parker is his manager of sorts, but not in a performance sense,” Colfer told me at the Critics’ Choice Television Awards. Michele has heard that Parker’s character may be giving Rachel a makeover, which suggests a New York fashion-world story line for Kurt.

Translation:

“Kurt will find himself in an establishment where Sarah Jessica Parker is his manager of sorts,” Colfer said. Of course the last person who played SJP’s on-screen assistant was Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, which suggests an EGOT super-star life-story for Colfer. Meanwhile, Rachel will get a full Sex and the City-style makeover (good-bye, baby doll dresses!) before visiting “gal pal” Quinn Fabray.

When last we left Finn Hudson he was saving the day by shovZZzzzzzzzz — oh, sorry. I fell asleep for a second.

Says TV Guide:

As for Monteith’s Finn, it sounds as though he’s headed to Army boot camp! “Finn would have to be in very good shape and get incredibly fit, meaning I would have to be incredibly fit,” says the actor. “I’m doing extra stuff this summer — CrossFit and fewer Snickers bars.”

Translation:

Finn is going to get his ass kicked.

All in all, it looks like Glee is shaping up for a really exciting season! What do you think of the casting news and Season 4 spoilers?

 
 

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