“The Fosters” recap (2.10): Groundhog Day

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Stef, in her bed time uniform of a sports inspired jersey, is doing her best Along Came Polly impression and chucking throw pillows from the bed when Lena glides in. “Hey gurl, how are you?” Stef asks and Lena lies down, settles in and says, “I quit my job today.” Stef’s eyes bug out and MORTGAGE flashes across them.

In the garage, Lou is singing Brandon’s new lyrics about how she’s a maneater. She calls him an ass. They bicker for a bit more and then start making out, as you do. Across town and tax brackets, Sophia is working on her angst street cred by telling Callie about all the depressing music she listens to because her life is one big privilege and she needs to feel. Callie says she doesn’t so much need the depressing music because her life is a parade of disasters. She says Brandon’s band is good and Sophia calls her sister out for being in loooooove with Brandon. Ugh Brallie, not dead yet! Callie says Brandon is just her best friend not her lovah! Callie starts to leave but Sophia says the guest room is haunted, filled with corpses, frequented by A, and otherwise a total death trap so Callie should sleep in her bed where she can stare creepily at her all night long until she Single White Females her.

The next morning, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman walks in and can’t help but be taken in by the creepy adorableness of the clones. When Callie walks downstairs, Robert is setting up a display of the photos she took of the girls to try to help them find permanent homes. The Adams Fosters roll up and the moms squeeze Callie. Mariana walks in with her hair back to its lovely shade of not bleached and everyone rejoices. They head to the pool to hang with Rita but Stef stops to find out what Jesus is doing on his phone. Shockingly, Hayley is freaking out again but Jesus needs to take care of himself for once.

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Outside, Lena is admiring the splendor of the Quinn’s luxurious mansion and Stef cracks that they will be lucky to keep their house on one income. The Quinns walk up and are thrilled to meet Lena. They tell her about the fundraiser they held for Obama and points out their three black friends in the crowd. They thank him for helping Girls United and for signing the damn papers so they can adopt Callie.

While Robert introduces the fundraiser and thanks everyone for coming, Mat takes the opportunity to hit on Mariana. He tells her he digs brunettes but that she looks like someone he knows. He leans in to kiss her but gets called up to the stage to play. While they do their Peach Pit After Dark thing, Rita starts chatting with Callie and thanks her for asking Robert to help out Girls United. Rita wants to know why Callie doesn’t want anything from Robert when he so clearly loves her and wants to be a father to her. Rita, please butt out now, mmkay?

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On the balcony, our mom aged lovers are bickering over Lena quitting her job. Maybe she could get it back if she asked real nice, Stef says but Lena isn’t ready to back down from this fight. No one puts Judicorn in the corner or her watch. Mike sidles up and Lena takes the opportunity to be anywhere but talking to her wife. Stef tells Mike that she thinks Lena is hurting after losing out on the job and then losing the baby and dammit this is a thing she can control. Jude overhears them talking.

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Callie gets called to the stage to speak and tells everyone about her time at Girls United, how amazing Rita is, and how Robert is her dad. Rita walks up and tearfully tells everyone how she considers herself the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. Sophia pulls Callie inside, giddy at the thought of being acknowledged as Callie’s sister and spills the fact that she stole the abandonment papers and tore them up. Dude, Sophia, I wanted to like you but you are a horrid, little thing.

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Outside the moms and Jude are having a little chat. Jude wants to know if Lena quit her job because of him. Jude tells Lena that she shouldn’t stand up for him because he did something on the camping trip that was wrong. What are we talking about, Jude? Pot brownies? Smoking? Smooching on Connor?

Sophia is breathlessly telling her dad why she ripped up the mail. She wanted a sister and no mean old Mr. Wonka is going to keep her from her dream! Callie tells her that the Fosters are her family and Robert sends his misguided daughter away. Callie asks how long until Robert can get new copies and he says he can’t, he won’t sign the paper again. Callie tells him that she doesn’t love him and that she will never live in his house. He wants her to be happy so long as it’s on his terms (what is it with the men on this show?!). She runs off and tells Sophia she’s not her sister but a spoiled brat which is harsh but also accurate.

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Callie starts running and it’s weird because I swear I’ve seen this before. Sophia locks herself in her bathroom while Brandon runs after Callie. Holy deja vu, Batman! She sits next to Brandon and yammers about what she gave up to be adopted and good Christ!she’s talking about him! She kisses him and I have a feeling that every midseason finale is going to end with these two smooching.

What did you think of the episode and of this half season? Thanks for hanging around all season, we’ll see you all back in December.

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