“The Fosters” recap (1.9): “You had me at lesbian”

 
 

Back in the hospital Stef starts to stir, saying Lena’s name beneath her mask.  Stef struggles to get the mask off her face and says “Lena will you marry me?” Lena’s face is brimming with emotion. “I thought you’d never ask,” she says and Stef agrees, “neither did I.” Don’t ever scare me like that again, Lena says, her fear finding the surface now that she has Stef to talk to and doesn’t have to hold herself together for the rest of the world.

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The scariest thing about finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is the knowledge that you could lose them at any moment.  It’s this fear that makes us say “I love you” when we walk out the door even if we’ve just been fighting, even if we’re still mad, even if we aren’t quite feeling it right then because the world is a terrible and cruel place and you don’t want to spend the rest of your life wishing you had just said the words. There are no guarantees of another chance to say “I love you,” we are not guaranteed another kiss, another hug, another laugh that bubbles up inside her and spills over, washing away the words you wish you hadn’t said. We aren’t guaranteed any more chances to hear her voice say your name in a way that makes it sound like music. It’s this that makes falling in love so splendid and so terrifying. It’s walking out onto a wire knowing it could break at any minute.

Stef asks how her babies are, because of course she does. Lena tells her that the kids were scared and Stef says “Mariana.” Lena finds Mariana sitting on a bench outside. Lena doesn’t think that Mariana knew why she went behind their back to get in touch with Ana. She thinks that Mariana wanted more than a supervised visit, she wanted a relationship with the woman who gave birth to her, to know why she gave up the twins, and why she chose drugs over them. Lena says she can’t understand because they chose Mariana and Jesus and the twins chose them back. They may not share DNA but love is what makes a family, not DNA.

Roberts finds Mike and says that they picked up Ana and are bringing her to the hospital to identify her boyfriend. She says she was there for the shooting and climbed out a window. Cop boss wants to know if she would have any different version of the story Mike told her. Mike stomps away, pissed because he did tell the truth this time.

Stef is telling the story to the internal affairs dudes. She answers their questions and corroborates Mike’s story although she doesn’t remember anything from when she was shot until she woke up in the ambulance. Mike’s standing in the hall and tries to talk to Brandon who tells him the only person who would be drinking while Stef was in surgery is an alcoholic. Mike tries to keep Brandon from walking away. Brandon shoves him and the rest of the family comes out in time to hear Brandon say “I’m done with you,” to Mike. On their way out to the parking lot Lena spots Ana and marches over to tell her if she goes near Lena’s kids again it will be the last thing Ana ever does. Not that smart to threaten to kill a lady while she’s being flanked by cops but Lena you’re hot when you’re pissed.

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Mike walks in to talk to Stef. She tells him it wasn’t his fault, she wouldn’t have waited for back-up because she thought Jesus was in there. He says Ana was claims to have been in the house but he’s not worried about having a witness because it was a clean shoot. Mike says he wishes it had been him, and she says “Me too.”  Glad to see that being shot in the gut didn’t affect Stef’s smart mouth.

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At the Foster-Adams house no one can sleep. Mariana climbs in bed with Lena, Brandon plays piano (which may be why no one can sleep), Callie stares at the ceiling, and Jude looks at a picture of himself as a baby with his mom. Mike walks into an AA meeting in the hospital. Stef lies in her bed and flashes back to the shooting. She sees the first shot, then the bad guy drops the gun and it goes off again. By the time Mike comes in and starts shooting, Evan is unarmed. Maybe it wasn’t such a clean shoot.

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