Mariana sits up in bed to talk to Callie. She tells her I have no idea what you’re going through but I do know a lot about lying. I’ve watched this show about these four girls and they lie a lot and it seems to get them into trouble with their text message provider. It’s hard to keep track of all the lies and then one of them, you might have heard, she killed a guy. Whatever. You do you, and whatnot but lying is hard. Whatever you want to do, Callie, we’ve got your back but if you could just put the bastard away that would be super.
The next day at the hearing the lawyer is asking all sorts of questions and trying to get Callie to lie which is cool, suborning perjury is totes fine, but Callie’s not having it. Voldemort is back goddamn it and if that means dealing with Umbridge and her cruel torture devices, and snickers from her classmates who believe the shit the Ministry is putting in the Daily Prophet, well fuck ‘em because she may have the attitude of a mini-McCullers, and the impossibly large, doe eyes of Aria Montgomery, but she isn’t here to lie. She tells the DA that maybe he thinks all she deserves is for Liam to be found guilty on a technicality but that to do that she would have to give away all she has left, the truth. Lena and Stef are sitting in the gallery and look heartbroken by the proceedings but at the last second Stef breaks into a tiny, proud, smile.
Back at the Foster-Adams house of wedding chaos, Callie is playing “Joe Lies” on her guitar on the front porch as Stef and Lena head out to unload their car. Lena doesn’t feel right going through with their wedding plans after what Callie went through in court but Stef assures her that Callie is happy for the distraction. Lena, ever the optimist, was so sure that things were going to go differently in court and wishes Callie would just get a break once instead of being reduced to the information in her file.
Mariana is talking with Lexi who is super bummed about having to go back to Honduras because her grandmother is sick. Mariana wants to know how she can do that if she’s undocumented and Lexi is like, “no worries, my dad got a cabinet at Borgin and Burkes and we just slip in and slip out. It’s the Tea Party’s biggest fear, the immigration vanishing cabinet.”
The mothers of the brides are bickering over the flowers. Stef’s mom wants festive, colorful flowers, and Lena’s mom wants elegant, sophisticated ones. Lena walks in just as Annie Potts says “stick up your ass” and that’s about all you need to know about this perfect scene. Weddings make people batshit crazy, folks. Sharon leaves, Dana tells Lena that Mrs. Weasley is nice and all but she doesn’t have the best taste. I mean she’s not even a tiny bit veela. Lena tells her mom that it’s just flowers and maybe they could chill out. Dana gets huffy because Lena isn’t properly grateful for all her hard work on the very important gerber daisy vs calla lily debate.
Meanwhile, upstairs Sharon is bitching to her daughter about calla lilies which are clearly a funeral flower and who does Dana think she is? Stef looks like she would like to be anywhere else on the planet. Her mom presses on and asks Stef to wear the dress she picked out for her. Stef tells her mom that she is going to wear pants and her mother can’t imagine such a choice. Stef pulls out the “it’s my wedding for Pete’s sake, don’t I get to decide” argument. True fact, a few weeks before our wedding one of my wife’s best family friends (who officiated our wedding) told us “you think this day is about you, HA! you two are replaceable. We can get anyone to stand up there.” He was only half kidding but a hundred percent right. Stef says her mom told her she was going to take care of the flowers so she should do that already. She just wants to wedding to come so they can stop talking about it already.
Lena walks in and says “it’s not just me, right, they’re crazy, right?” No it isn’t just you, Stef says, and by the way thanks for not being crazy. This is a wonderful side effect of weddings, everyone drives you so up the wall that you have no choice but to become closer with your fiancee. It’s you against the crazy. Then Stef really steps in it when she says “All of this fuss over a stupid wedding.” Walk it back Stef, walk it back. Oh dear. Lena says is there a reason you, who proposed to me, are being such a dick about our wedding? If you think it’s so stupid maybe we should call it off. Oh Stef, girl, I can’t help you with this one.
Stef arrives at her dad’s house and kind of hovers by the door. She tells him she’s sorry that her mom forced him to agree to come to the wedding and that she didn’t want that. She digs her hands into her pocket. I’ve been really embarrassed about the wedding she tells him. She hasn’t been able to enjoy a second of it because she keeps hearing a voice in her head that tells her that there’s something wrong with two women getting married, standing up in front of friends and family, and promising to love each other. She breaks down, not understanding how she can love Lena and their family and their life together and be so ashamed to put that out in the world for others to see. But she realized that the voice in her head is her dad’s and she is done listening to it, and she doesn’t want it at her wedding. If he can’t get behind her wedding, if he can’t be completely supportive then she doesn’t want him to come.