“The Fosters” recap (1.07): “Hey, Jude!”

Early the next morning Stef is sipping coffee in her pajamas when the doorbell rings. It’s the Riveras making a housecall. It seems Lexi has run away and they thought she would be at the lesbian palace of underage sexual freedom. Stef calls Lena down and she crosses her arms as you do when you’re caught bra-less in your pajamas on a Saturday morning. They question Jesus and he tells them he doesn’t know anything. Papa Ramirez stares at Jesus and then when they send him away he says, “He knows something. He knows something about my precious.” Stef nearly laughs in his face and says, “Oh, unlike Mariana, Jesus is a terrible liar.” Speak of the devil, Mariana comes in and gives a whole song and dance about how much Lexi hates her and would never get in touch. Ana texts Mariana asking when she’s going to get her delivery of stolen merchandise and the Riveras look hopeful that the message is from Lexi. No dice. Stef suggests they track Lexi’s cell phone but the Riveras say they took the cell phone away and now we’re back at square one. They refuse Stef’s suggestion that they file a police report so instead Stef and Ernie go searching and Sonia and Lena stay home and call everyone in the school.

Callie is playing her guitar when Brandon walks in. She admits she didn’t sleep much the night before and he suggests they call Bill. She explains that if she does it will just be her word against Liam’s and that it will go on her record. She risks being labelled as “sexually volatile” and it could mean she ends up in a group home. He is as incredulous as any kid who has been raised in a stable home environment. He says it’s crazy and she says that it’s just how the system works. (Mark your BINGO card at home if you’re playing along).

Mariana is looking as sketchy as possible, shoving Black family artifacts into her bag and trying to disparate out of Grimmauld Place as quickly as possible. Jesus says hi to her and she tells him to spare her another lecture about what a terrible person she is before zipping out the door dragging her heirlooms behind her.

Stef and Ernie are driving around in Stef’s giant car. Ernie says that he doesn’t want to send Lexi away but that boarding school in Texas was the compromise he and his wife came to. She wanted to send Lexi to Honduras to live with an aunt but that sort of defeats the whole reason Ernie and Sonia left in the first place. Back at the Foster-Adams’ the phone banks are working and volunteers are standing by to take your pledges. Lena tries to comfort Sonia and they launch into a stirring debate about safe sex and whether or not it encourages kids to have sex. (Mark your BINGO card now). Thankfully in the middle of it, the doorbell rings and it’s Connor. He pops in and brings with him the sweet bliss of a teenager only worrying about winning soccer games and making DNA models with his bud from school. Lena revels in Connor saying “Hey Jude” and Jude rolls his eyes and says something about The Beatles being for “old people.” I forgive him, but only because he’s like Yoda meets Jiminy Cricket and combed his hair for his playdate and couldn’t be any cuter.


Mariana is outside the Shrieking Shack. She walks in calling out “Hello, it’s Mariana” and — surprise — it’s Lexi holed up in Wyatt’s foreclosed home of teenage art and destruction. They have a heart to heart about how the Riveras are worried about Lexi but they don’t suspect Mariana knows anything because she and Lexi weren’t speaking. Mariana tells Lexi about meeting with Ana and Mariana at least seems to recognize Ana’s attempts at emotional manipulation, although we’ll see how that ends up.

Back in Jude’s room Connor is quizzing Jude about his favorite player on the Chargers until Jude confesses that the jersey, and the skateboards, and 99 percent of everything in the room belongs to Jesus. Connor asks where Jude’s stuff is and Jude points to a backpack and says when you move around all the time things get broken or lost or stolen. Connor offers that people have too much stuff anyway and then talks about some kid who is always talking about his new stuff. Jude won’t join in bashing the kid and Connor asks why Jude never speaks poorly of anyone, not even the bullies. Jude asks “What’s the point?”
Lexi mariana

Back at the house of debauchery and delinquency, Mariana is taking some pictures of Lexi and enjoying it a little more than casual friend pictures. Afterward Mariana says “Oh, I better erase these from my phone so no one accidentally sees them and figures out that I’m in love with you.” “You mean that I’m staying at Wyatt’s?” Lexi responds. “Yeah, sure, let’s go with that one.” Finally, she asks Lexi to describe what it’s like to have sex. Lexi gets a little carried away which grosses Mariana out. She doesn’t want to hear about her brother’s skills in the sack. No, she’s more interested in what it’s like to have sex with Lexi.

Jude and Connor are building their model and Jude shows Connor a pocket knife that belonged to his dad. When Connor asks about Jude’s dad, Jude spins an elaborate tale about how his dad is in jail or on an island or Bernie Madoff. Connor asks why Jude is lying and Jude apologizes. Connor tells him “You don’t have to lie” and I only hope he means about anything because I think Jude has a crush on his buddy.

Stef and Ernie are back and Stef is imploring the Riveras to go to the police. The Riveras admit that they haven’t gone to the cops because they are undocumented. (Mark your BINGO cards.) Jesus overhears the whole conversation. Jesus is waiting on the porch when Mariana comes home. When he tells her about the police report they rush off to find Lexi. They tell her that she has to go back with them and that she’s undocumented just like her parents and if the cops get involved things could go sideways.

Outside the therapy session Callie ambushes Sarah to talk about Liam and Sarah freaks out and runs away. Later, inside the therapy session Callie decides to share for the first time. She talks about how Liam started to be nice to her by leaving her candy bars in her bag and how he would secretly hold her hand when they watched movies at home. He used to tell her she was special and when the therapist chimes in that she is special, Callie acknowledges her but says she “wasn’t special to him,” while she stares at Sarah. She’s delivering a speech to Sarah, like none of the other people are there. Sarah can’t take it and runs out of the room. Callie follows her and Sarah tells her that Liam warned her about Callie trying to do something like this. Callie says they can go in together and say what happened but Sarah wants no part of it. She’s worried about it going on her record and tells Callie that if she says anything it will only end up coming back to hurt her.

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