The Best of the Boob Tube: The 64th annual Primetime Emmy Awards

Outstanding variety series: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Watching Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon hilariously tackle Stewart on the way to the stage was a reminder that any of these three men probably would have been a funnier Emmy host this year than Jimmy Kimmel.

And now that the boring real awards are out of the way, here are some other awards that should have been handed out.

Outstanding wish fulfillment: The Emmy opening skit

Who knew it would be so satisfying to watch Kathy Bates, Christina Hendricks, Zooey Deschanel, Martha Plimpton, Mindy Kaling, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and a naked Lena Dunham punch the former co-host of The Man Show in the face?

Outstanding reason to hate sweatshirts: Ellen DeGeneres

A carefully tied sweatshirt robbed us the sight of a fully pantless.

Outstanding dress most likely to cause problems at airport security: Lucy Liu

And we all volunteer to be the ones giving her her pat down.

Outstanding non-couple we all wish was a real couple: Tina Fey and Jon Hamm

With all respect to their respective partners, come on, that would be hot.

Outstanding politeness in the face of ridiculous hair: Martha Plimpton

Jeremy Davies’ hair got in a fight with a lawn mower and lost.

Outstanding use of cake: Lena Dunham

If eating cake naked on a public toilet is wrong, wait, it sort of is wrong. But also funny.

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