Heather Hogan: Nothing makes my lesbian heart weep like Modern Family. Not because I hate it: No, I think Modern Family is the funniest, most endearing, most subversive sitcom in years and I watch every single episode at least three times. Cam and Mitchell are my favorite gay couple in the history of television because they’re hilarious, for starters. And they’re lovable. And the writers use them to gently mock all kinds of gay stereotypes.
Cam and Mitchell are not supporting characters with mangled, cliched storylines. Their relationship is integral to the Pritchett family dynamic, which means it is fundamental to the success of the show. The writers give them the same kind of care they give Claire and Phil, and Gloria and Jay. Every week, Cam and Mitchell have fresh, warm stories to share with America. And that makes "gay" seem a lot less scary (and a lot more normal) to people who don’t have any actual gay friends. (And that makes things like DADT and DOMA and seem a lot more ridiculous to them, too. "What do you mean there’s a law that Cam and Mitchell can’t get married?!")
And so I weep because I really do adore Cam and Mitchell. But also I weep because the deepest, most desperate desire of my TV-lovin’ heart is to see a lesbian couple just like them.
Bridget McManus: I cry when I’m at the department store and see clothing for girls emblazoned with the words "I <3 boys."
Dara Nai: Things that make my lesbian heart weep:
Justin Bieber’s autobiography: Um, what? I don’t know about you, but when I feel down about life, I look for inspiration in the sage words of someone with undescended testicles. Not. If you’re too young to drive, and your biggest concern is whether your tour bus has an Xbox or not, you’re not interesting enough to warrant an autobio.
P.S. If your idea of a book title resembles a text message, you might want to read a book before you write one.
"It Only Takes a Few Minutes to Be a Good Dad:" Oh really? Because it takes at least 18 years to be a good mom.
Bad Hair Club for Men: I would love to hear the audio during a commercial break from this Larry King interview with The Donald.
Larry: This style reminds me of something.
Donald: A cirrus cloud?
Larry: Yes! And it’s softer than I imagined.
Parents with small children at McDonald’s or anywhere food is being ordered: Do not wait until it’s your turn, only to ask your 4-year-old what he wants to eat, forcing us to stand there while little Noah/Aiden/Tyler/Connor makes up his tiny mind. What they want is for you to be the adult and move things along. Oh wait — that’s what I want.
OK fess up — what makes your lesbian heart weep?