The AfterEllen.com Huddle: Living lesbian stereotypes

 
 

Heather O’Neil: My son’s father thinks I should just cut and paste my music playlist as my answer, but I’d say early cohabitation with a woman who looks so much like me that, as an undergrad, I used her ID to get into bars because she is two years older. Then we started dating. Then we moved to Brooklyn. Then we got married. Then we had a baby.

Lately, we’ve been trying to eat vegetarian, much to the annoyance our meat-lovin’ three-year-old son. And we have a cat and a pair of Chucks each.

p>Drummerdeeds: While several of the other AE blogger extraordinaires have me beat in the stereotype category (I’ve solicited their training, so bear with me), I can check off a few boxes that caused my peers in high school to call me a lesbo nonstop: 1) I’m an uber-feminist. Fairly militant, too.

2) Barring a few exceptions (Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson and Prince), I only listen to female singers. They’re just better. To me, all male singers sound like the lead singer of Nickelback.

3) I’m a lesbian nationalist. I favor queer people in general, but I truly think that queer women are just better human beings. I also think that most women are queer women, but that’s encroaching on another stereotype. We’ll stop here for now.

Grace Chu: This is a tough one. I am allergic to cats. I’m too afraid to touch power tools or heavy machinery (but I’m good with old school tools like hammers and nails). I suck at sports — even beer pong (although I’m pretty good at flip cup). I don’t even like watching sports. I didn’t go to a Seven Sisters college. I never took a women’s studies or queer studies class. The Lesbian Avengers in college scared me. I can’t stand most music in the "girls with guitars" genre. I never had a crush on Shane on The L Word. I have limited ex-girlfriend drama, because they don’t live in the same state – or country – as I do. I waited an entire year before moving in with my ex fiancee, but it was mostly out of necessity, because I decided to take two bar exams at the same time; my lease ended on the last day of that s–tshow, and looking for an apartment wasn’t really high on my priority list. I am mostly carnivorous, and I think vegans are weird. I only recycle when people are watching me. I prefer wine over beer. I never hung out in Brooklyn until someone started paying me to cover the New York City scene. (It was hard to argue that Brooklyn isn’t part of New York City.)

Actually, come to think of it, I never hung out in the lesbian scene period until someone started paying me.

My hair is long, boring and acceptable for corporate America, and I like it that way. I don’t rail against capitalism; the alternatives are worse. I have never dated anyone who looks remotely like me, and in the past, if we left the house even wearing matching colors I’d become anxious. I do own Chucks, but they’re the wimpy kind.

Would writing for the biggest lesbian site on the internet suffice? What about fabricating Facebook drama out of boredom? I have started wearing sensible shoes more often. And I have been known to become overly competitive at things that don’t matter. Oh, and I like puppies. Will any of this prevent my lesbian card from being revoked?

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