The AfterEllen.com Huddle: Mementos of Relationships Past

 
 

Lucy Hallowell: Aside from my high school boyfriend (who reminds me of the guy from Fixer Upper) I don’t have any exes either. I do, however, have some friends who might as well have been exes for all the shit I saved from them over the years.

A few weeks ago I spent half a day going through old cards, notes, letters, post-it notes, and the detritus of who I was in high school; someone willing to squirrel away any evidence of kindness because it felt so rare at the time.

I still save more shit than my wife would like (“Do you need this ticket from the time we saw Varsity Blues in college?”) but, thankfully it’s more of a pleasant reminder of things we’ve done, places we’ve gone, memories I want to keep than a need to document that sometimes people are actually nice.

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Trish Bendix: I am the anti-packrat so I don’t keep a lot of things unless I feel a strong need to. I remember how painful it was to go through photos with my first girlfriend when we broke up, asking “Do you want this?” and her saying, “No. Do you?” “No.” And then throwing them away. The internet is forever, though, so there’s a lot of mementos I can’t get away from. Photos, videos and things I’ve written— they will always exist. So while I don’t want to look at them right now, or probably in the near future, I hope that some day I will be glad some of it was out of my control, and I couldn’t erase it all on impulse.

Do you keep things from past relationships?

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