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The 80 gayest moments on “Pretty Little Liars”

Another Pretty Little Liars finale is upon us, but before we bid adieu to the summer and wait on the wings of Tippi’s promise for the Christmas special, we thought we’d take a look back at 80 of the gayest moments of the gayest shown in the history of TV. Grab a PinkDrink and a can of chickpeas – I know you have some in that cabinet; don’t you lie! – and take a trip with us down memory lane. Emily likes Queen Bey too much. Like why don’t you put a ring on it already, Em. Emaya’s meet-cute. “You live in the bedroom of the first girl I ever loved. Want to get a coffee?” Emily’s ex-girlfriend crashes her new romance. Just when Emily and Maya were about to get their make out on, “Ali’s” “body” was discovered in the backyard. Just friends spooning. Totally normal straight people stuff. Straight white guys all look the same. So much so that you can interchange their heads between seasons and no one will notice. Emily stares down Maya while Ben smooches on her. “He doesn’t know I know you know I know.” Emily and Maya share their first kiss. Drunk in loooooove. Emily comes out to Hanna. Who tells her that Emily is Emily with Ben, and Emily is Emily with Maya. Her friends don’t care who she’s with. They just care who she is. Spencer is obsessed with hats.

And ties. And also obsessed with being right. Emily and Maya can’t keep their hands off each other. ‘Cause once you kiss a girl, you’re never going to stop kissing girls. Emily’s memories of Ali all take place in the Golden Hour. The sweetest, most beautiful time of the day. Emily obsesses over love letters from a previous relationship…

…with a straight girl (Or, well. She was straight at the time. Maybe. Kind of.) (Probably not.) Emily processes her former relationships with her current girlfriend…

…over and over. “Is it me? Do I keep getting them axe-murdered?”

Emily comes out to her dad. She says she’s gay; he says she’s still the same girl whose second grade picture is in his wallet. Maya is bamboozled that Emily wants her to femme up to meet the parents. But she says she’ll sew a dress anyway, just to be on the safe side. Emily and Maya nearly set the house on fire saying goodbye.

But Emily didn’t think goodbye actually meant goodbye. If only they knew a hobo who could reverse-engineer a phone so that it could make outgoing calls to drug camp. Paige’s internalized homophobia makes her insane. And destructive toward herself and everyone around her. She has a field hockey penalty named after her. Ah, the old Lego man bangs. It Gets Better for Emily. Her mom finally understands what her dad knew all along: That there’s just one kind of folks. Folks. Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life makes “friendship bracelets.” Like the kind she probably made for “best buddies” Blair and Jo. Caleb’s season one hobo style. I’m pretty sure I saw Tegan Quin dressed in this exact outfit in concert. Mona trashes Caleb’s goodbye letter to Hanna. Boys. Harumph. Paige gives Emily some surprise sugar. “Because when I said ‘I hate you’ what I really meant was ‘Let’s get married.” And takes her to a karaoke bar. “The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fiiiiine.” And on a picnic. “I love hanging out with you all alone by ourselves in the woods where no one can see us ever.” And finally says, out loud, that she’s gay. She knew everything would change; she just didn’t know it would be for the better. A teenage GSA counselor gets all the nookie. Especially one who looks like Claire Holt. Until her “best friend” busts up her new relationship. #HorribleQuinn #NeverForget Emily gets back together with Maya. Literally the second she rolls back into town. And then back together with Alison(‘s ghost) while getting back together with Maya. Ex-girlfriend Inception.

Emily eye-shags Jenna. Happy Halloween, bitches! Orange Is the New Black cosplay. Spencer would throw her pie for Aria, you know she would. Emily buys one thousand plaid button-ups. Probably she even owns plaid pajamas at this point. And takes it all off at Maya’s behest. Because Maya made her an Under the Sea-themed date night. (“Darling, it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me.”) Paige gets sixty-hundred times hotter after coming out. “Yeah, it’s whatever. I’m out, proud, and the sun always sits on my face like this now.” And sixty badrillion times hotter when she puts on a suit. Prince(ss) Charming, yo. A asks to see Emily’s boobs.

Because obviously A is gAy. Emily will not stop being friends with her exes! Even if she has to dig them out of their graves! Mona ends up in an insane asylum because the Liars take Hanna away from her.

Aria’s boss is a time-traveling lesbian bohemian from the late ’80s. Spencer called. She wants her hat back. Paige helps Emily tie her tie. “Is it hot in here, or are my pants on literal fire?” And gets trolleyed on whiskey while wearing a beanie to deal with her feelings. Also to wash down the taste of Jenna’s penny-flavored cupcakes. Cece Drake remembers Emily’s mad, obsessive love for Ali. As told to her by Ali. Maya Knew Dot Com Maya set up a special website page so Emily can obsessively watch it after she is dead. Also she writes nonsensical poetry that makes Emily swoon/cry. Hashtag lesbianism 101. Emily kisses Paige right on the mouth. After demanding that she not look away. Paige chats about wood shop class while wearing a cutoff t-shirt. With an eagle on it. Emily kills her dead girlfriend’s fake cousin for kidnapping her current girlfriend. You may have heard.

Finally, Paige goes all in and just buys a tux.

Adam Lambert is Adam Lambert. A glittery vampire who rides around on trains and sings the night away. Paige explores love on Emily’s planet. If you know what I mean, and I think you do. Emily masters the lesbian slouch.

Paige dresses like a lumberjack. A lumberjack with mad PTSD. Paige finds her BrOTP. They have sexy, matching forehead scars. Harry Potter is their third. Hanna Marin walks into a gay bar.

And the lesbian bartender immediately hands her a PinkDrink.

Which was a gift from another lesbian. Whose girlfriend was in the ladies room. Emily begins her denim vest phase. The first of thousands. But wears an Easter-colored polo in her Ali flashbacks. “Let’s trip a trip to Paris where we will spend half our time naked. Like friends do.” Spencer gets intense about going full vegan.

And Emily finally wears the gayest outfit known to man. A denim jacket with leather sleeves over a plaid button up over a henley. COME ON. Emily meets Paige’s ex-girlfriend.

But Hanna’s not sure Shana’s even gay. She hardly even looked at Hanna! But Shana is gay. And she’s dating Jenna.

Spencer and Ali waltz in the basement of Radley. You know. For “practice.” Mona whines about not getting to kiss Hanna. When she was dressed like Alison dressed like Hanna’s boyfriend. Emily and Paige plan their U-Haul life.

Complete with puffy drapes. No, really. They made a matrix of their future life together. Spencer throws down like a nerdsbian. A Lannister always pays her debts, OK? Ali gets Lesbian Twinsies Syndrome But instead of trading clothes with her girlfriend/BFF, she traded souls with her. Mona smooches Ali on the forehead. And then goes to the next room to brush her Ali doll’s hair. Paige and Emily break-up.

And immediately get back together. While dressed like cowboys. Because their love spans all of space and time.

Ali comes back from the dead to make it right with Emily.

And tells Emily that she wasn’t messing with her all those kisses ago.

Emily believes her. Fully, hardcore, scissor-time believes her. Jenna cries because all the lesbians on TV die. What has been your favorite gay moment of Pretty Little Liars so far?

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