In my weekly perusal of the wonderful wowowow.com, I came across a non-gossipy tidbit from Liz Smith recommending Helen Mirren's memoir, In the Frame: My Life in Words and Pictures.

Wait. Queen-of-my-heart Dame Helen Mirren has a memoir that I didn't know about? How could this happen? A few clicks later, I discovered that Mirren's book, which was released in the U.K. last fall, didn't make it to American shores until a few weeks ago. OK, I'm not as far behind as I feared.

But something is amiss. Take a close look at the book cover. Now look at the woman holding the book.

Photo credit: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

The same woman? Yes. The same beauty? Not even close. The lovely lady's character lines have disappeared in another unfortunate encounter with an airbrush. … continue reading

Hey, did something happen in Hollywood last night? Oh, right; a bunch of people went home with shiny naked golden men. While some may quibble with a few of the winners, last night’s Oscars telecast was a night when Tinsel Town pretty much got things right. Sure, I would have loved for Juno to sneak in and steal No Country for Old Men’s Oscar for Best Picture. But that might have incurred the wrath of Anton Chigurh, and the last thing you want to do is to make a man with a Dorothy Hamill haircut and a compressed-air gun angry.

The evening was largely a classy affair, with lots of first-time winners, loads of heartfelt speeches and even a couple genuine surprises. So in the spirit of honoring excellence, here are a few awards of my own. May I have the envelope, please?

Best Straight Allies: Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth

The filmmakers won for their short documentary Freeheld, about a lesbian couple’s fight to win survivorship benefits. (Look for more details in Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. this Friday.)

Best Upset I Didn’t Know I Wanted: Marion Cotillard

I thought I’d be mad at Marion for upsetting my personal favorite Julie Christie for Best Actress, but after hearing her exuberant, charming and sincere speech, I’ve fallen in love instead.

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We already know Helen Mirren is The Queen. Actually, she’s been a few queens, most of them named Elizabeth. But now she can add Queen of the Mashups to her long list of distinguished roles.

The U.K. paper The Times reports that some 400 Mirren mashups have been posted on various video sites this year. That makes the real-life dame a more popular tribute subject than perennial tabloid princesses Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. According to the article, only Star Trek and Harry Potter rival her mashup dominance. I believe this proves my theory that once you rule the geeks, you rule the Internet. … continue reading

In this week's countdown of dumb, annoying, and downright exasperating celebrity and entertainment news, Lori and I take on Iggygate, the escalation of the Jennifer vs. Angelina war, and the debut of the new CBS show Viva Laughlin, which may well be the worst show in the history of television. Seriously.

Also, why Kate Walsh's good news makes us sad, and what Rose McGowan and Helen Mirren have in common.

Find out now! … continue reading

Yes, I know it's a semi-tabloid headline, but I had to do something to make myself feel better about Dame Helen Mirren's latest project.

Mirren has signed on to star in Love Ranch, directed by her husband Taylor Hackford. The film is the story of Joe and Sally Conforte, who opened Nevada's first legal bordello in 1971. The state's licensure of Mustang Ranch led to the state's legalization of brothel prostitution in 17 counties. Joe Pesci is coming out of semi-retirement to costar. That's right; Dame Helen and Joe are playing husband and wife. To which I say, WTF? … continue reading

If you’re ever at a Star Trek convention and things get a little boring, here are six words guaranteed to stir the pot. “Best Star Trek captain ever. Discuss.” Entire websites are devoted to the Kirk vs. Picard debate, and it’s not a subject that Trekkies take lightly. Here at AfterEllen.com, however, no discussion is necessary. The best Star Trek captain is obvious.

News of Star Trek XI, directed by J.J. Abrams, has fueled new debate, since the movie’s storyline is a prequel to the original series and requires casting younger versions of Kirk & crew. Our own globalgrrl had a Psychic Friends moment when she correctly put Zoë Saldana in the role of Uhura.

That got me thinking: If an AfterEllen.com woman can cast a part so perfectly, imagine the lineup if AfterEllen.com cast an entire Star Trek film. Especially if the film had an all-female cast. Now we’re talking. I can almost see the marquee. “AfterEllen.com presents: Star Trek L: Revenge of the Manatees.” … continue reading

I like good headlines. It's one thing to convey information in a small space; it's quite another to do so in a way that makes me want to read the full story. I don't soon forget those headlines. For example, I fondly remember "Pumpkins are as confusing as they ever were," which was about the Smashing Pumpkins. Nothing says "music review" like the notion of a befuddling gourd.

A couple of days ago, I came across another headline that turned out to be better than the story: "'Play' Date for McAdams, Mirren." I'll admit it: I swooned a little.

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Can we all agree that the American Idolification of the Emmys, what with its theater-in-the-round and hiring of Ryan Seacrest, was a bad idea? A very bad idea. The 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards was a largely dull affair interspersed with some worthy winners, fitting send-offs, head-scratching choices and spectacularly bad jokes.Two gags about Hayden Panettiere finally reaching the age of consent? Classy, people, classy. And then there was the bleeping: Brad Garrett making an off-color milk remark about his co-star’s décolletage? Fine. Sally Field making a political statement about “goddamned wars”? Censored. Context, censors, context.

Here's a look at some of the highlights and lowlights from the telecast (for a complete list of winners, go here). Let’s kick things off with Ellen and Portia. Sure, they didn’t win anything. But they did color coordinate. Plus, if you look closely, in the top right corner you’ll see Ellen’s mom.

Tina Fey, Marry Me: Fine, she’s already married. But you can understand my inclination when after winning Best Comedy for 30 Rock, she said, “I want to thank the parents, child, spouse and gay partner of every person that works on our show ... and our dozens and dozens of viewers.” She then told the press backstage that she was going to celebrate by overeating. Sigh. The good ones are always taken.

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I don't know about you, but I get a little thrill out of seeing a woman in power. Put a woman in command in a movie or TV show, and suddenly, I'm interested — the only reason I watched all seven seasons of Star Trek: Voyager when I really don't like Star Trek is because of Captain Janeway. (Okay, Seven of Nine helped there, too).

In light of the patriotic holiday that is upon us here in the U.S., the recent news that Fox's 24 is considering having a female president on next season, and of course, the '08 election, I thought I'd highlight some of the most powerful fictional women (or fictional takes on historical women). So here's my list, in no particular order, of women in film and TV (and a book) who have served in the highest (or second-highest) office in the land.

Joan Allen as the Vice Presidential Nominee in The Contender (2000)
Allen is excellent in this movie that brilliantly illustrates the double-standards applied to women in power. As a Senator nominated for the vice presidency, she steadfastly refuses to comment on a photo circulated by enemies in the Republican party that purports to show her engaged in group sex while she was in college, insisting "I just can't respond to these accusations because it's not okay for them to be made."

Mary McDonnell as President Laura Roslin in the Sci Fi Channel's Battlestar Galactica (2004 - today)
With the world as they know it is destroyed, President Roslin and the head of the military (Edward James Olmos) must work together to fight off the evil Cylons, maintain morale, and find a new home. As a former teacher who took over the presidency after everyone else in the line of succession was killed, she rose to the occasion and demonstrated a steely reserve behind the calm and gentle demeanor. Plus, she's kinda hot.

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Kyra Sedgwick is the guest on tonight's episode of Inside the Actors Studio (Bravo, 8/7c). I'm sure it's no coincidence that The Closer returns next week (June 18 on TNT at 9/8c). But any reason is a good one if it means more Sedgwick on the screen.

Sedgwick's lesbian following, of which I am a happy member, goes waaay back. For me, it all began with Losing Chase (1996), in which she was lucky enough to lock lips with Helen Mirren. Sure, she ran away after that fateful kiss, but that's probably because Mirren is so irresistible and gorgeous. (Yes, I do enjoy my delusions.) … continue reading

The Cannes Film Festival always has that special je ne sais quoi mix of glamorous and loopy that makes it a perfect spot for red carpet watching. You never know if you’ll get Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie dressed like old-school movie stars or Bai Ling dressed like an extra from Spring Break Shark Attack.

And, really, that delicious dichotomy is a big part of its appeal. Here are some other fun lessons I’ve learned from the past week’s snapshots from the south of France: … continue reading

Helen Mirren has sent her regrets to Queen Elizabeth II, who invited Mirren to dine at Buckingham Palace. According to the Daily Mail, the RSVP spelled s-n-u-b:

"It is unheard of for Her Majesty to extend a personal invitation to dinner to someone who has portrayed her in a film. We did not expect to be told that the date is unacceptable."

And why was the date unacceptable to Mirren? Well, because she's busy filming National Treasure: Book of Secrets in South Dakota, of course. … continue reading

This week, People magazine announced its "100 Most Beautiful People" (the issue hits newsstands today). Drew Barrymore gets the title "World's Most Beautiful" — really? They scoured the whole world? Drew must feel pretty special.

There are no big surprises on the list: Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston and Halle Berry all made the cut, as did (hooray!) Helen Mirren.

But there is one slightly surprising additional list this year: "Beautiful Without Makeup." That one includes Katharine McPhee, Rashida Jones and Rosario Dawson. This is exactly what they look like in the morning, wearing only their very good genes. … continue reading

The first Cagney & Lacey DVD release is just around the corner — it hits stores May 8. But when you first unwrap the set (don't tell me you're not going to buy it!), you might think you've purchased a defective one, because the first six episodes of the series will be missing. No, it's not a mistake or a marketing ploy: Producer Barney Rosenzweig decided to exclude the Meg Foster episodes.

I suppose that might have something to do with the fact that Rosenzweig is married to Sharon Gless, who replaced Foster when CBS pronounced her too dykey. But I can't say I mind — not because Foster was too butch (frankly, I don't know how you can be more butch than Gless-as-Cagney) but because Foster's ice-blue eyes kind of creep me out.

I mean, don't you think her freezy gaze is the reason Foster has played so many fantastical characters? Here she is as Evil-Lyn, Skeletor's sidekick in Masters of the Universe: … continue reading