I've learned not to claim disdain for reality television. I'd love to, sure, but I'm so hopelessly addicted to America's Next Top Model that I have no room to talk smack. And after last night's episode — one of the most hilarious I've ever seen — I can say with assurance that I'm not heading to ANTM rehab anytime soon.

The final six contestants (Anya, Katarzyna, Whitney, Lauren, Fatima and Dominique) headed to Rome this week, got brief lessons in the Italian modeling industry, and filmed some truly awful Cover Girl commercials. There was so much to love in this episode, I don't even know where to begin.

Left to right: Lauren, Whitney, Katarzyna, Anya and Dominique

All photos by Elizabeth Carrillo/The CW

Well, I could start at the beginning, when Anya charmingly face-planted coming out of the van. I'm not kidding when I say "charmingly" — I don't know what it is about Anya, but she's so sweet and cute and nice and upbeat that she must be made out of unicorns or something. Unicorns covered in glitter. And rainbows. With sprinkles on top. … continue reading

The CW wants you to watch its new reality show Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants, which made its debut last week.

This reality nightmare follows mother-daughter teams as they vie for beauty pageant greatness and live in one big happy household while doing so. (It wouldn't be a true reality show without forced co-habitation, now would it?) The fact that Carson Kressley, minus his Queer Eye cronies, is one of the pageant judges is not enough to get me watching. Seems I made a good choice, considering the scathing reviews so far.

Shanna Moakler, who repeatedly reminds the viewing audience that she was once Miss America, is one of the other judges involved in this debacle.

EW.com has a little video list that shows Moakler detailing her five pageant don'ts. Allow me the pleasure of sharing that list with you.

1. No stripper shoes. And by that she means no six-inch heels. I guess that eliminates Katee Sackhoff and her Wizard of Oz heels. … continue reading

"Oh, lordy" is what immediately came to mind after I watched the first episode of Gossip Girl, the new teen soap-drama that premiered last week. In this context, "oh, lordy" sort of means "if you have a high tolerance for self-serving, self-indulgent, puddle-deep, cliched characters or and an even higher tolerance for not-too-clever, predictable, not-much-nuance writing, then this show is awesome! There are some very informative reviews here, here and here.

This isn't a recap, because nothing that was said in the episode is worth restating anywhere. The show stars a very charismatic Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen (I like Blake a whole lot better than her brother Eric, who played creepy secret videotaper Mark on The L Word) Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf , Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey, Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald, Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey and Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass. In a capsule, Serena and Blair are best friends. Well they were. Serena left school and returned to school under mysterious circumstances. Blair's boyfriend, Nate, also has a thing for Serena, which of course drives much of the drama between Blair and Serena. Dan and his little sister Jenny are the "not so rich kids" at the rich kids' school. Dan has crushed on Serena from afar, and freshman Jenny is in awe of the hip in-crowd at her new school. The show moves along through the use of a voice over by “The Gossip Girl,” a blogger who has her finger on the pulse of this teen grouping from this prep school. … continue reading

If you're a fan of Supernatural on the CW, you've probably already heard that two ladies will be joining the cast for its third season, and that these additions are causing a bit of uproar before the first scenes have even been shot.

(Caution — minor spoilers about casting and characterization for season 3.)

Katie Cassidy (yes, daughter of David) will play Ruby, a slightly "unhinged" demon hunter who hooks up with the brothers Sam and Dean to track all of the escaped demons from last season.

Lauren Cohen will play another demon hunter named Bela. She is a "confident mercenary who lacks a conscience." In other words, a thief. … continue reading

Last night Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll premiered on the CW, and critics everywhere heaped scorn upon the Top Model knock-off.

The show features nine young women vying for a spot in the Pussycat Dolls, a pop/stripper-esque group best known for their club hit "Don't Cha" ("Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me/Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me"). The show is hosted by Robin Antin (sister of Jonathan Antin of Blow Out) and judged by Ron Fair (chairman of Geffen) and singer/ex-con Lil' Kim.

Last January, the show's producers met with a group of TV critics and told them that the program is all about empowerment. Executive producer McG said: "Women celebrating one another being beautiful and, frankly, being appreciated by me, has been around for a long time. Under no circumstances is it shameful. And there's even a position to take [that] this is, frankly, third-wave feminism."

But what does "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me" really mean? McG answers: "It's just like saying, ‘Don't you wish your girlfriend could be free and comfortable in her own skin and do her own thing, like me?'"

Right. Well, those TV critics didn't buy it then, and they didn't buy it after they saw the first episode -- in which all the girls are hit with a stomach virus and end up vomiting on-camera, some hooked up to IVs.

In the New York Times, under the headline "Empowered? Try Nauseated," TV critic Virginia Heffernan writes, "It's not inspiring — it's grim — when the shivering hopefuls summon their empowerment, unhook their IVs, squeeze into their skimpy costumes and take the stage to try to become Pussycat Dolls."

In the Boston Herald, under the headline "Mangy 'Pussycat': CW's 'Doll' search will need all nine lives," Mark Perigard writes, "nothing demonstrates female empowerment like dressing like a stripper, stroking yourself naughty and singing about your sexual freakiness."

The Washington Post demands "Someone Please Call Off This 'Search,'" and John Maynard offers: "Female empowerment, evidently, means dancing around in your sequined skivvies and uttering lyrics such as: 'Baby, can't you see? How these clothes are fittin' on me? ... I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons, babe.'"

But wait, it gets worse! Possibly the best headline of all comes from the Long Beach Press Telegram: "'Search for Next Doll' just a coughed-up hairball." Television critic David Kronke characterizes the show as "utterly generic, made worse by the exploitation of the women's illnesses."

What's the real crux of the matter? Scott D. Pierce of the Deseret News ("Pussycat Dolls' empowering?!?") states: "For any parents to let their impressionable teens or preteens watch this show under any circumstances would be a mistake. To let them watch it and hear about how behaving like the Pussycat Dolls 'empowers' women would be reprehensible. As is the show."

Now, I am all for third-wave feminism and women's sexual empowerment. And frankly, I do in fact believe that burlesque can be empowering for women. But all of these critics have a point. The problem is not that the show lauds girls for their booty-shaking abilities; the problem is that the show attempts to disguise that in a thin veneer of feminist respectability. Come on, McG. Did you even read the Wikipedia article on third-wave feminism? For more advanced reading, go here.

I think there is room, within feminism, for a reality show about girls who want to be hot like whomever. But let's be real about it. The Pussycat Dolls are a mainstreamed version of a strip show. Being a stripper, I dare say, has its own power. That would include power over your own body, power over the men stuffing bills in your G-string, and power to manipulate sexuality for your own profit. But that's not a show that will ever see the light of day, because in addition to all that power, there are also real issues of sexism and misogyny involved in stripping. Who wants to watch anything that complicated?

So note to PCD producers: Make your show into whatever you want, but don't insult us by saying it's "feminist."