When readers of Maxim see next month's issue, they might be tricked into thinking the tacky men's magazine has made nice with Sarah Jessica Parker, the actress it infamously voted the World's Unsexiest Woman last year. Parker topped a list of so-called ugly women that included Amy Winehouse, Sandra Oh, Madonna and Britney Spears.

Maxim was roundly criticized for the list and the 43-year-old Sex And The City star was candid with the press about how much the dubious honor hurt her, telling one interviewer, the list was "brutal, in a way. It's so filled with rage and anger."

Next month, Maxim does a 180 on its earlier judgment, naming Parker its "Unexpected Crush," but insiders say the "honor" still contains an insult-laden joke.

Is this what the power of the press has been reduced to? Have we all reverted back to the 8th grade? Remember passing terribly catty notes about classmates we were jealous of or threatened by? Sometimes we made fun of them, sometimes, unfortunately, we picked on their physical attributes because it was, again, the 8th grade, what else did we have going on? It's not like we could be snarky about each other's jobs or spouses or whom we voted for.

It's not just mens' mags like Maxim. Famed film critic Rex Reed wrote a review of Sex And The City for the New York Observer in which he spent an entire paragraph crudely insulting Parker's appearance and specifically, the cute mole on her face. (Parker recently had the mole removed. Coincidence?). … continue reading

Chris Jordan, a visual artist known for critiquing America’s consumerist culture, has the art world abuzz with his latest work, a photograph of a woman’s breasts that upon close examination is actually a huge sculpture made out of 32,000 Barbie dolls.

Why 32,000 dolls? Jordan picked the number because, shockingly, it’s the amount of breast surgeries performed each month in the United States. You’re reading right: 32,000 boob jobs. Every month.

Could it be? Let’s do the math: start with all of those Hollywood women who admit to getting breast enhancements like Pamela Anderson, Dolly Parton, Tara Reid, Jane Seymour, Tori Spelling, Kelly Rowland, Victoria “Posh” Beckham. Then triple that number a few times to compensate for the stars who are hush hush about their fake boobs. Next, add reality “stars” who confess their boobs, too, went under the knife like Kendra Wilkinson and Holly Madison of The Girls Next Door, Heidi Montag of The Hills, The Apprentice’s Helene Speight, and Indian dancer and actress Rakhi Sawant (Big Boss).

Recently Brigitte Neilsen, reality TV superstar, took it all a step further (doesn’t she always?) by undergoing various plastic surgery procedures — including a breast augmentation — for a German reality program.

Now, add all of those not-so-famous women who get boob jobs, as reported by the media. These include the thousands of young women each year who now opt for boob jobs instead of cars as high school graduation presents. Add to that the recent onslaught of Asian-American women who are surgically enhancing their bust size. Finally, let’s not forget the girls, yes, girls — not women — who get parental permission (and probably financial aid) to boost their boobs. The number of teens 18 and younger who got boob jobs in 2003 was more than 11,000 according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. … continue reading

Popcrunch has created a list of famous people who have gone on the record about suffering with depression. The list included more than 100 people from all walks of life: politics, Hollywood, sports, journalism, anthropology, etc. For our purposes here, I’m interested in the women on the list.

Now, some of these women were pretty obvious candidates — I think we all had a hunch Sylvia Plath wasn’t happy every day — but others caught me by surprise and, again, illustrated what we all sort of know: that depression hits anyone, regardless of status, success, talent, smarts, looks, fame, love or lack thereof. Getting depressed is starting to feel like a given in the world today. I mean, times are bad: We’ve been at war for several years. Gas costs too much. It’s hectic out there. We’d be mad not to get sad.

The key, obviously, is dealing with our depression healthily. Talking to friends works for some of us, or sometimes journaling or jogging. Some of us need counseling at times, and despite what Tom Cruise says, medication can help sometimes, too.

It’s important to know that were not alone, and that some of our heroes have been depressed. Several of the people who are responsible for our favorite books, songs, and films, even. (Hey, isn’t it ironic that some of the people we turn to when we’re depressed get down, too?) Here are a few wonderful everyday women who get the blues:

—Politicians, their spouses, and sex scandal partners (regardless of party affiliations): Tipper Gore, Barbara Bush, Betty Ford, Monica Lewinsky, Marilyn Monroe

—Royalty who may or may not have despised each other: Princess Di, Queen Elizabeth II

—Athletes who grunt while playing and/or had a trend-setting hairdo in the 1970s: Monica Seles, Dorothy Hamill

—Women who sing about sad stuff: Shirley Manson of Garbage, Amy Lee of Evanescence, Sinead O’ Connor

—Women who sing about happy stuff: Sheryl Crow, Melanie C

—Women who sing about hot stuff: Donna Summer

—Women who sing about the importance of holding on: Carnie Wilson … continue reading

Neo-soul artist India.Arie is the latest in a long line of talented R&B singers bit by the acting bug. Arie, 32, is set to star in a Broadway revival of For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow Is Enuf. The play, based on the book of poems by Ntozake Shange, was nominated for a Tony award in 1977. The book, a women’s studies classic, presents several women of color discussing their experiences at a certain time in the United States.

It’s a bold step for Arie, but she’s in good company. In fact, I’m having a tough time thinking of an R&B artist who hasn’t tried her hand at acting on stage or screen. Some of them gave such good performances, they got in the running for Hollywood’s biggest honor, the Academy Award.

One of them actually won it. Of course, I'm talking about American Idol alum Jennifer Hudson, who brought home the Best Supporting Actress award for Dreamgirls. Hudson is the biggest success story on our list, although her castmate Beyonce, (Carmen: A Hip Hopera, Austin Powers: Goldmember) isn’t exactly hurting for parts. Alicia Keys (The Nanny Diaries, Smokin’ Aces) seems to record an album and film a new movie every other year. Keys just finished shooting another: The Secret Life of Bees.

Let’s not forget those ladies we don’t hear on the radio every day: Erykah Badu appeared in The Cider House Rules way back in 1999 and later, House of D; Macy Gray guest starred on Spin City and Gilmore Girls; Angie Stone appeared on an episode of Roswell. … continue reading

R&B singer and former Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland proved her beauty is not just skin-deep this week. The 27-year-old performer is trying her best to bring awareness to the importance of HIV screening as an ambassador for MTV's Staying Alive Foundation, which aims to reduce discrimination against those who are infected with HIV and AIDS. The singer is visiting Africa where she underwent an HIV test to in Nairobi, a city devastated by the disease, to encourage others to do the same.

"Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to HIV infection, and it is important for everyone to know their HIV status,” Rowland said in a statement to the press. “The quicker you know your status, the sooner you can receive treatment if you're HIV+, and reduce the risk of inadvertently infecting future partners."

The ambassador's second album, Ms. Kelly, has several hits, including “Like This,” “work” and the Snoop-Dog collaboration, “Ghetto.” However, this might be some of her most important work yet. … continue reading

Yesterday Stuntdouble wrote about one of Entertainment Weekly's lists from their current classic list issue. Today I'm writing about another one of the many lists: a Top Ten list from Sarah Michelle Gellar in which she reveals the new classic male TV characters she wishes she could play. In response to this I have written Gellar a small letter. Eh hem.

Dear Sarah Michelle,

Can I call you Sarah? I’ll presume you've said no since I can’t hear your answer and we hardly know each other. I’m sure "Sarah" is reserved for the important people in your life such as your hubby Freddy Prinze Jr. I understand that you and I are, at this point, merely internet strangers. But I do hope that after you read this you will see that I am not so much a random blogger, but rather someone looking out for your best artistic interests and then just maybe you will email me begging me to please call you Sarah … and you in turn can call me Ree-ree.

Recently I came across the top ten list that you submitted to EW, "10 New Classic Male TV Characters you wish you could play." Now I’m sure EW approached you with that topic and that you aren’t sitting around in your home in Hollywood somewhere cussing the breasts and reproductive organs that are preventing you from landing these testosterone required roles; but just in case you ever do have a private moment of truly wishing you could have played those roles I thought I would take it upon myself to offer you potential alternative roles that women have played that are on par with you classic male choices:

You chose: Ricky Stratton, Silver Spoons
Because: "He used to ride that little train around his huge house. I wanted that train when I was a kid."

Suggested Female Equivalent: Punky Brewster, Punky Brewster
Because: OK, I admit I wanted that train too and the sports car-shaped bed he slept in, but that is no reason to pine for that role. Punky Brewster is a far meatier role for you than merely playing a spoiled rich kid. Punky was an orphan who was adopted by a widower. Hello? It is a kid actor’s dream role. Punky’s sparkly personality out weighs Ricky Stratton’s bank account. Her wardrobe is adorably free spirited complete with crazy color combinations, mismatched shoelaces and side pony tales. Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Ricky is tucking his salmon colored polo shirt into his chinos. Lame. … continue reading

Kristen Johnson, who was so wild and fun and larger than life on 3rd Rock from the Sun, is the latest Hollywood star to go all Skeletor skinny. These pictures of Johnson recently at a PETA event made my heart drop. Johnson told everyone who asked – oh, and they asked, because in Hollywood everyone is as preoccupied with your weight as you are – that she dropped 60 POUNDS. Sixty! From a body that didn’t look like it needed to drop weight.

I know I shouldn’t get emotional about someone else’s weight loss and by now we all know that the people in Hollywood have different ideas about what an adult women’s physique should look like, but, wow, haven’t we learned anything? When three out of the five Spice Girls – a group all about female empowerment – have discussed their struggles with eating disorders, you gotta step back and wonder, should we all go to therapy together? Like, as a group?

In just the last few years I’ve watched ladies who started their careers looking fine become suddenly reduced to their smallest terms. Where is the rest of Christina Ricci nowadays? What happened to the Brittany Murphy who was so wonderfully bodacious and real in Clueless? Both are Hollywood ‘bots now, sleek and too skinny. (And P.S., both are Italian like me, so I can’t imagine how hard they are working to stay so tiny).

The first time I saw America Ferrera, I thought to myself, “Unbelievable. Hollywood has let in someone who is beautiful, ethnic, and bootylicious.” But the latest pictures I have seen of America the Beautiful have me ruing the fact that she, too, is getting smaller and smaller.

I know the reasoning behind this. I know what producers say. They say the camera adds weight. Thinner women look better onscreen, which really makes me wonder how skinny the Olsen Twins are in real life if they look so scary small in paparazzi shots. … continue reading

It’s official: Michelle Branch’s life is the one we covet. The 24-year-old is not only an Grammy award-winning musician who has guest-starred on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, she’s now opening a partially-organic bakery.

The Nashville Business Journal reports that Branch’s new bakery will be a sit-down affair in Nashville called The Sugar Bar. The singer, who scored hits with “Everywhere,” “All You Wanted” and “Are You Happy Now?” explains on her web site’s message board that the baking bug bit her when she was young:

“When I was a little girl. I would sneak into the kitchen and sift out a few cups of flour and mix it with water just to play with the dough.”

She says the bakery will offer good old-fashion Bourbon Chocolate cake. (She might want to use some of Tennessee’s own Jack Daniels whiskey in a recipe or two). … continue reading

We're halfway through summer movie season, and it is time once again to employ Lesbian Scientistics to determine which summer blockbuster star is the most kissable, and what exactly goes into lip appeal. (CAUTION: The findings below are fraught with SPOILERS.)

Step 1) Ask a question. Does a woman's bad-assness effect her kissability?

Step 2) Observe. I will profile each woman to garner an accurate portrait of her bad-assness, paying special attention to whose ass she kicks, what she kicks ass with, and what she wears to hand out said ass kickin'.

Anna Popplewell/Susan Pevensie, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Enemies: Telemarines, the misogyny of C.S. Lewis.

Allies: 2 Sons of Adam, 1 Daughter of Eve.

Uniform: Chainmail, leather corset.

Weapons: See pie chart.

Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie Bradshaw, The Sex and the City Movie

Enemies: Big, Mr.

Allies: Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte.

Uniform: Fraggle-fur shawl.

Weapons: See pie chart. … continue reading

Sometimes, blogging about beautiful women presents a dilemma for me. (Yeah, I know – poor me.) Seriously, though, maybe you can help me sort through this. Here’s what started my crisis of conscience:

That gorgeous shot of Sharon Stone is part of a new ad campaign from Damiani, the Italian diamond jewelry company. According to popbytes, the photos were inspired by Eve (above), Amelia Earhart and “today’s modern woman.” (I think I’ve just been cured of my fear of flying.)

Obviously, the pictures are exquisite. They also are airbrushed – a lot.

I’ve seen Sharon Stone in person and she is stunning. She glows, in fact. Here she is just a few weeks ago at Women’s Night 2008. This is a woman who turned 50 in March. Just wow.

Stone has claimed for years that she’s had no plastic surgery. She even sued a plastic surgeon a few years ago for implying that he had worked on her. I believe her – her eyes wrinkle when they twinkle. Lest you think she had something done right before the ad photo shoot, this pic is from the campaign launch last week.

Now here’s my conflict: I don’t think that airbrushing is automatically a bad thing. In this case, diamond jewelry is the product and Sharon Stone is the model. Damiani paid a lot of money for Stone to appear, but the focus of the ad is the jewelry, not the model. And, unlike some retouched photos we’ve seen recently, no one is implying that the picture is not airbrushed. … continue reading

Women in Film, an organization that honors people who advance female involvement in filmmaking, hosted their annual Crystal + Lucy Awards on Tuesday night in Beverly Hills. Among the winners were Ginnifer Goodwin, who won the MaxMara "Face of the Future" award; Salma Hayek who took home the Lucy Award for her work as the producer of Ugly Betty; and Diane English with the ensemble cast of The Women, who won the Crystal Award.

Annette Benning and Meg Ryan

Of the women surrounding her (other attendees include Cameron Diaz and Eva Mendes) at the awards ceremony, Goodwin told the press, "To be in their company is confusing for me. I'm so humbled."

I get that. If I had somehow managed to get gussied up and teleport to the red carpet on Tuesday night, I'm sure I would have been befuddled by all the talent and diverse beauty, too. You might even say I would have gone so far as to make an ass out of myself during the jovial acceptance speeches. … continue reading

Kathy Griffin is everywhere these days. The D-List star just wrapped up hosting duties on Bravo’s A-List Awards, the fourth season of her reality show My Life on the D-List just premiered on June 12th, and if you live in Los Angeles (and can still afford the gas for your car) you can cruise down to Sunset and Laurel Canyon and find the fiery red head on her very own billboard promoting her new CD, For Your Consideration.

Griffin has purposefully released this live recording of her February 17th show at the Grand Theater Center for the Arts in California, not so her fans can have her sassy commentary on celebrities at the touch of an iPod, but rather, so she could be in contention for the one award that has seemingly eluded her (and that she could possibly be eligible for since I don’t think any of us are seeing Oscar in her future): the Grammy.

… continue reading

Kathy’s reality show has already taken home Emmy gold and more recently she just won a GLADD award for Outstanding Reality TV Show. If Griffin gets her Grammy wish she will become a Hollywood triple threat: an Emmy award winning, Grammy winner, that is beloved by the gay community (it’s these kinds of accolades that have worked wonders for the careers of Liza and Barbara.)

Last week Forbes magazine released its "Celebrity 100 List: a ranking of the world's hundred most powerful celebrities." It's all very scientific how Forbes makes the list; it's based on earnings, Google hits, press mentions, television appearances, appearances on the covers of consumer magazines, and some enigmatic things like Lexis/Nexis radio mentions. It was no surprise to anyone that Oprah Winfrey gobbled up the top spot this year, what with her $275 million earnings last year, and Harpo, her production company's, success not only with her talk show but with Dr. Phil and The Rachel Ray Show as well.

As I was flipping through the article in Forbes (noting that 37 of the most powerful celebrities were women), season one of The L Word was playing on my television, and I thought to myself, "I'll bet there is loads of overlap from Forbes' list and AfterEllen.com's Hot 100 List. Bette Porter is one of the most powerful woman in southern California, and everyone loves her. I'd better employ the scientific method and construct some charts to prove how smart I am about women and statistics!"

And so I present to you: Power and the Art of Lesbian Scientistics. (A very mathematical approach to hotness.)

Step 1) Ask a question. Question: Are lesbians attracted to powerful women?

Step 2) Observe. I will repeatedly watch episodes of The L Word and Bad Girls to place Bette Porter and Helen Stewart — characters nearly-universally loved by lesbians — on the Power Scale.

Results:

As evidenced by the above charts, both Bette Porter and Helen Stewart show near-omnipotence in every area, with the exception of True Love — where they have the power of a cloudless day and a kitten, respectively. Everyone knows that love conquers all, except for pirates/ninjas. However, love is blind, so it's not exactly a fair fight. As such, I have given Bette Porter a 9.6 out of 10 on the Power Scale. Helen Stewart receives a 9.85 out of 10, because her accent melts my insides, which could easily be considered a super power. Verdict: Both characters have much power. … continue reading

Angelina Jolie is packing.

Heat, that is.

It is no secret that Angelina will be playing a fierce gun-slinging bombshell in the upcoming summer blockbuster Wanted, which opens June 27th. (If you missed it, the coverage of Wanted on AfterEllen.com is here. And here. Oh, and here as well. Like garlic, chocolate and vacation days, there is no such thing as too much Angelina.)

But what you may not know is that Angelina plays a fierce gun-slinging bombshell in real life as well.

Last week, Angelina told the Daily Mail that she has purchased authentic versions of the firearms portrayed in Tomb Raider and that such firearms are not intended to be wall decorations.

"I bought original, real guns of the type we used in Tomb Raider for security. Brad and I are not against having a gun in the house, and we do have one. And yes, I'd be able to use it if I had to. I could handle myself."

Earlier this week when the New York Times reported that The Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art has taken to shooing away visitors from their steps because of some indefinable construction project, my first reaction was: but where will the Constance Billiard social hierarchy sort itself out? Where will Upper East Side teens go to grope one another? For God's sake, where will Blair and Serena eat their breakfast?!

Then I realized I was being ridiculous: Blair and Serena aren't in Manhattan right now. Serena is in the Hamptons recovering from her murder confession, and Blair is in France sharpening her talons for an impending death match with a couple of Humphreys. They don't need those steps in front of the Met this summer!

Serena and Blair's alter-egos — Blake Lively and Leighton Meester — have busy summers ahead of them as well. Lively will be starring in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 alongside America Ferrera, Amber Tamblyn and Alexis Bledel. The movie was originally slated for release on August 8th, but Warner Brothers announced this week that they'll be moving it up two days to August 6th, hoping to generate some good buzz because the film has been getting great reviews in pre-release screenings. Ann Brashares wrote four books in the best-selling Traveling Pants series, and this movie covers the last three. So in addition to the the things the trailer promises — laughter, tears, and that generally awesome feeling that comes from just being a girl — there should be plenty of story to go around. … continue reading