Well kids, I’ve made my peace with the finale of America’s Next Top Model. Believe me, if I’d written this recap as the credits were rolling, it most likely would have consisted of “Are you kidding me? What? No, no, no, no, no!” over and over and over. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, though, the inevitable win of Whitney seems for the best.

That’s right — good ol’ Plussie has won the almighty Cover Girl contract. It’s Whitney’s face you’ll be seeing in Wal-Marts everywhere, and during the next cycle of ANTM, we’ll learn all about her life as a Cover Girl (which, I hope, will be a hell of a lot more exciting than Tootie’s after her Cycle 9 win — not that wearing hair nets and visiting makeup factories isn’t exciting). All snark aside, congrats to Whitney for being the first plus size — excuse me — full-figured model to win on the show.

Photo credit: Jim DeYonker/The CW

Still, Anya was robbed. Robbed I say! I knew this going in, as some overenthusiastic East Coast friends spoiled the results for me. Had I been completely in the dark, however, the ridiculously slanted editing of this episode would have telegraphed the ending to me in 10-foot neon glittery letters that lasered directly into my brain.

The three remaining amigos — rather, the two remaining amigos and Fatima — immediately embarked on the most important mission yet: they’ve got to rescue the President! Wait, sorry: they’ve got to shoot commercials and print ads for Cover Girl. But the pressure is still high, and it’s so high, in fact, that Anya cries out of nervousness. It’s kind of like watching a rainbow fall down and squish a puppy.

Photo credit: Pottle Productions Inc./The CW

The last Cover Girl commercial the girls shot was The Italian Nightmare (“Brasilia!”), so they’re all a bit nervous; fortunately, the script is in English and there’s no movement required. They’ve all just got to stand there and talk about how awesome their mascara is, or something. The script may have been in English, but it was such a friggin’ tongue twister and they all had so much trouble with it that I couldn’t make out much more than “New lash blast last fast Cover Girl blast if a wood chuck could chuck wood.” … continue reading

According to TV Squad, Season 2 of NBC's Heroes will include a lesbian cheerleader named April. As AfterElton.com noted, it's good to see that despite being de-gayed last year, Heroes is game to try again. We don't have additional info on who will play April the Gay Cheerleader (and the second season doesn't start shooting till mid-June), but we're always happy to speculate! Here are some of my top picks for the actress best suited to play gay on Heroes:

Mandy Musgrave, because if the rumors are true, she's not gonna be so gay on South of Nowhere next season so she might as well fulfill her fans' dreams on Heroes:

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Missy Peregrym, who was just so dykey in Stick It: [OK, so I admit I stopped watching Heroes about halfway through the first season, before Missy joined the cast (as a kind reader pointed out below in the comments). But I still think she should play April the Gay Cheerleader! They can just recast whoever she's playing now. Come on!]

Sometimes the world works exactly the way I want it to. OK, not the whole world. But occasionally — very rarely, really — the right people become famous and the right shows survive. Yeah, I'm talking about Tina Fey and 30 Rock.

NBC has officially renewed 30 Rock. Apparently this is considered an "early greenlight." It's Christmas in April! I'm trying not to feel paranoid about getting exactly what I asked for. … continue reading