Have you ever walked out of a movie and thought, “Damn, I can sum that whole thing up in three lines or less”? Well, so did those clever bookish types at McSwenney’s. They recently summed up famous films in three lines of dialogue or less. The results for classics like Citizen Kane, The Philadelphia Story and The Godfather was inspired. That, of course, got me thinking about all the terrible great lesbian films out there.

So, without further ado, here is a sampling of lesbian movies in three lines or less:

Lost and Delirious

Paulie: But I love you.
Tori: But I can’t be gay.
Paulie: Why do I suddenly feel like singing “I Believe I Can Fly?”

But I’m a Cheerleader
… continue reading

Megan: 2-4-6-8! Being straight is really great!
Graham: Gimme a G! Gimme an A! Gimme a Y! What’s that spell? Gay! Gay! Gay!
Megan: I like your cheer better. Let’s make out.

With all the advanced technology in the world it's only a matter of time before robots take over the planet. I'm sure you are all thinking the same thing: Without human beings how will the robots stay entertained? Answer: remake movies, of course!

(Actually I was really thinking, "Would dating a lesbian robot be easier than dating a lesbian human?" Yes, if the robot can transform into a U-Haul.)

Here are movies with hot chicks recreated by robots:

Aeon Flux

Basic Instinct

… continue reading

I'm a visual person. I think in images. I can't really help it. It just happens. I'll be sitting at my desk or driving around town and something I hear will cause an image to pop into my head. Usually, such images spring to life when I hear a song from a movie soundtrack. For example, Simple Minds' "Don't You Forget About Me" causes Ally Sheedy and the Breakfast Club gang to appear in my brain. Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" causes visions of John Cusack's boom-box serenade for Ione Skye in Say Anything to dance through my memory. I try hard to avoid Celine Dion, but at least when I hear "My Heart Will Go On," Kate Winslet appears to make it all better.

The other day, while driving aimlessly about town, I was listening to one of my homemade CDs when Erasure's "A Little Respect" started playing. As always, visions of Jordana Brewster dancing with a pool cue overwhelmed my senses.

I really should keep that CD out of my car. Such images tend to make driving hazardous. In any event, it got me thinking about other tunes from lesbian-themed flicks that cause pleasant images to wander through my mind. I decided to see if I could create a playlist to keep my overactive imagination occupied for a while. Here are a few of the options I came up with. I'm hoping you can help me round out the list. I promise to keep these tunes out of the car for safe driving purposes. … continue reading