Lately I've been thinking about lover Cindi on The L Word. Well, not Cindi herself, but the "lover" thing. It's hilarious every time Dawn Denbo says it, mostly because the word lover has gone out of favor. It used to be a common term in the gay community — or anywhere, really. Especially in the '70s.

But now lover has the connotation of "f--- buddy," while partner or girlfriend is generally the preferred term for the people you want to keep around for more than just sex. Or at least that's how it seems to me.

So what makes a partner, and what makes a lover? Armed with my trusty (and dusty) DVD collection, I have conducted a sort of survey. I don't suppose it's educational in any way, but it was fun.

1. Cay and Vivian (Patricia Charbonneau and Helen Shaver), Desert Hearts

I just had to begin with a tricky one, didn't I? Cay and Vivian definitely start out as lovers, but if Vivian had stayed, they might have become partners. Still, when I think of them, I don't think of fun times or tender touches or home improvement. I think of steamy sex and mind-bogglingly deep kisses.

Verdict: Lovers (they have to remind themselves to stop long enough to get some food!)

2. Claude and Lucy (Alison Folland and Leisha Hailey), All Over Me

These two are so cute, I don't care what you call them. But when they walk along with their ice cream and Leisha grins like that, it seems like a love that's built to last.

Verdict: Partners (in a happily ever after sense)

3. Corky and Violet (Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly), Bound

Hmm. These two are carnal and star-crossed, but they also seem destined to be together. And the sizzle is accompanied by a sense that they're on the same wavelength — they have a meeting of bodies and minds. I think I have my first tie.

Verdict: Partner-lovers (lesbian bed death will never strike!)

4. Agnes and Elin (Rebecka Liljeberg and Alexandra Dahlström), Show Me Love / F---ing Amal … continue reading