People ask me all the time, “Wow, how in the world did you ever come up with your screen name?”

All right, fine ... no one ever asks me about it. But now that I’ve brought it up, aren’t you maybe just a little bit curious? Those of you with horror movie cred may have figured it out, but just in case you’re in the dark: The final girl, as usually seen in slasher films, is simply the last one alive. The phrase was coined by Carol Clover in her essential book on gender in horror movies, Men, Women, and Chainsaws, and she argues that having the hero of the film be, in fact, a heroine, the largely male target audience is “allowed” to take on the victim role without shame. To reinforce her point, Clover discusses movies where the final girl has an androgynous name, such as Hell Night, wherein Linda Blair portrays Marti, a college student trapped in a spooky mansion inhabited by a “gorked-out” family thought long dead.

It’s a tenuous argument at best; for every Marti found in slasherdom, there’s a Laurie or a Nancy. I suppose it all comes down to ... how much analysis do you want to put into these horror movies? Is the fact that the final girl is usually (but not always) a virginal “good” girl a statement about the perils of sex? Or does sex in horror mean boobs in horror, which in turn means money? Or does sex in horror simply put characters in vulnerable situations where the killer can strike?

Whether or not you agree that the strength of the final girl equates to a masculinization of the final girl, there’s no denying that she’s tough and resourceful. While everyone around her, friends and strangers alike, meets the business end of some cuckoo nutso killer’s knife, the final girl survives to take him (or, in rare instances, her) on. There’s no waiting around to be rescued by some guy — the final girl needs to take care of herself. Here are some of my favorite final girls to have graced the big screen.

1. Sally Hardesty: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

A simple trip to a swimmin’ hole turns into a nightmare beyond belief when Sally (Marilyn Burns) and her friends encounter Leatherface and his chainsaw. Sally survives a really gnarly family dinner and manages to escape Leatherface’s whirring blade. Sure, she ends up completely insane at the end of her ordeal, but who can blame her?

Burns’s mantle was picked up by Jessica Biel (as Erin) in the Chainsaw remake.

And Jordana Brewster had her shot at dueling against Leatherface in TCM: The Beginning. … continue reading

I'm a visual person. I think in images. I can't really help it. It just happens. I'll be sitting at my desk or driving around town and something I hear will cause an image to pop into my head. Usually, such images spring to life when I hear a song from a movie soundtrack. For example, Simple Minds' "Don't You Forget About Me" causes Ally Sheedy and the Breakfast Club gang to appear in my brain. Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" causes visions of John Cusack's boom-box serenade for Ione Skye in Say Anything to dance through my memory. I try hard to avoid Celine Dion, but at least when I hear "My Heart Will Go On," Kate Winslet appears to make it all better.

The other day, while driving aimlessly about town, I was listening to one of my homemade CDs when Erasure's "A Little Respect" started playing. As always, visions of Jordana Brewster dancing with a pool cue overwhelmed my senses.

I really should keep that CD out of my car. Such images tend to make driving hazardous. In any event, it got me thinking about other tunes from lesbian-themed flicks that cause pleasant images to wander through my mind. I decided to see if I could create a playlist to keep my overactive imagination occupied for a while. Here are a few of the options I came up with. I'm hoping you can help me round out the list. I promise to keep these tunes out of the car for safe driving purposes. … continue reading

Now that Lord Voldemort has returned, I've been thinking about villains lately. In particular, sure, He Who Must Not Be Named is scary, but why is it that male villains are usually so unattractive? What is it about evilness that makes male villains turn into hairless, unicorn blood-drinking tyrants with no fashion sense? (See Darth Vader for another option: still hairless, but that helmet clearly makes him fashion-challenged.)

Female villains, on the other hand, tend to be uniformly hot (and sometimes uniformed). Maybe it's because the female villain partly emerges from the long (and, dare I say it, glorious) tradition of the dominatrix: She'll whip your ass, and she'll look fantastic while doing it. And no, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Without further ado, here are my top 10 female villains:

10. Jordana Brewster as Lucy Diamond in D.E.B.S.

Clad all in black and bent on world domination, Lucy Diamond doesn't let her previously foiled plots (including an attempt to sink Australia) get her down. In D.E.B.S., she sets her sights on D.E.B.S. agent Amy (Sara Foster), and she quickly succeeds in seducing her.

Here's a (mysteriously silent) video of Lucy smooching Amy: … continue reading