Don't judge the number on this list!  Six is my lucky number.  Or am I just saying that six is my lucky number as an April fool's joke?  You can't be sure what is or isn't true today, can you? Now that I have made you paranoid, here are my Top Six Moments in Entertainment that I wish were just bad pranks rather than true events.

6. Anne Heche Phones Home

Anne Heche has had some public ups and downs but nothing shines so bright as her attempt to board the Mothership.

In 2000, Heche (aka Celestia, aka AreYouKiddingMe?!) was found wandering in a rural area outside Fresno wearing only a bra and shorts (attire only acceptable for Dinah Shore weekend).  AreYouKiddingMe?! rang a stranger's doorbell and requested directions to a gateway into outer space and then asked if she could use their shower. (I always freshen up before exiting the planet.)

5. Cher Retires...

...again and again and again.  The artist only known by one name (and Mama Bear to Chastity Bono, pictured below sporting a mullet) has been entertaining the world for over 40 years. She won an Academy Award, Grammy Award, Emmy Award and three Golden Globes.

Sadly, Cher hung her wigs up for good during her Farewell Tour in April 2005 at the Hollywood Bowl. We miss you Cher we miss you ... but wait! We will NOT miss you anymore because you're back in effect at Caesar's Palace performing the Cher Resurrection Cher Returns tour!

You tricked us Cher! We thought you were going to sit home in a rocking chair crocheting until death came knocking at your door. Good one Cher! You really April-fooled us this time! (P.S. more butt tattoos, please.)

4. Winona Ryder Needs to Borrow Five Bucks

In 2002, Hollywood's not so-girl next door Winona Ryder was convicted of stealing $5,500 in clothing from Saks Fifth Ave.  The two-time Academy Award nominee has worked with Tim Burton and sex goddess Angelina Jolie, yet all she ever wanted was a petite oyster-colored sweater set.

In one afternoon, Ryder set pixies back 20 years. Tinkerbell is the only one we can trust now. … continue reading

Ever wondered what people with really high IQs do in their spare time? Neither have I. Well, OK, I have wondered what some of them do. To the point of distraction, in fact.

But whether you wanted to know or not, Fancast reports that MENSA chairman Jim Werdell watches about 10 hours of television every day. (The average American watches four and a half hours.) And apparently, the combination of high IQ and television addiction makes Werdell qualified to list the 10 smartest TV shows of all time.

I won't argue with No. 1, simply because my daddy's favorite television show was M*A*S*H and he was smart. That's good enough for me.

I'll also concede that Frasier, All in the Family and West Wing deserve spots on the list. (Dang, how much do you miss C.J.?) … continue reading

The failure of the American public to appreciate Arrested Development is an undeniable sign of our collective decline as a country.

The show was smart, funny, irreverent, funny, virtuosic, funny, clever, funny, important and funny. And its demise is proof that satire just isn't valued these days (where have you gone, Jackie Woodman?).

Now, on to the news. Actually, it's little more than a rumor at this point, but maybe — just maeby — an Arrested Development movie is in progress. … continue reading

As the writers strike proceeds through its second week, I'm faced with the sad prospect of a finite number of entertaining Thursday nights (or Saturday afternoons, really, since I watch TV on my computer, thus contributing nothing to the writers' paychecks — so very wrong). No new scripts means no more Wilhelmina! No more Cristina! No more Meredith! Wait a minute ... no more Meredith? Maybe the strike is just a tiny bit OK. It's also providing all sorts of photos of stars supporting the cause.

No, I know — great pics and lack of Meredith aside, it's really not OK, and for reasons obviously far larger than my need for Saturday entertainment. I truly hope it is resolved soon, and in a way that will allow me to watch online TV without feeling complicit in some larger trend of failing to give credit (and cash) where due.

Until then, I'm inspired by a recent post at Give Me My Remote to give TV the desert island treatment. That's right, for absolute torture pure fun, consider: You're off to a desert island for, say, a year. Conveniently, the island has a TV (don't they all?), but you can only bring along one TV episode to watch during your year — not a series or a several-hour DVD, just one, lonely episode. What do you choose?

How do I choose is my question? The recent "Favorite Lesbian TV Moments" episode of She Made Me Watch This! is a good place to start, but I haven't seen a few of Sarah and Lori's picks, and while I too adored the hand-holding on The O.C., would I really want to watch it for a year running? No offense to Mischa Barton and Olivia Wilde, but not so much. … continue reading