Lately I've been thinking about lover Cindi on The L Word. Well, not Cindi herself, but the "lover" thing. It's hilarious every time Dawn Denbo says it, mostly because the word lover has gone out of favor. It used to be a common term in the gay community — or anywhere, really. Especially in the '70s.

But now lover has the connotation of "f--- buddy," while partner or girlfriend is generally the preferred term for the people you want to keep around for more than just sex. Or at least that's how it seems to me.

So what makes a partner, and what makes a lover? Armed with my trusty (and dusty) DVD collection, I have conducted a sort of survey. I don't suppose it's educational in any way, but it was fun.

1. Cay and Vivian (Patricia Charbonneau and Helen Shaver), Desert Hearts

I just had to begin with a tricky one, didn't I? Cay and Vivian definitely start out as lovers, but if Vivian had stayed, they might have become partners. Still, when I think of them, I don't think of fun times or tender touches or home improvement. I think of steamy sex and mind-bogglingly deep kisses.

Verdict: Lovers (they have to remind themselves to stop long enough to get some food!)

2. Claude and Lucy (Alison Folland and Leisha Hailey), All Over Me

These two are so cute, I don't care what you call them. But when they walk along with their ice cream and Leisha grins like that, it seems like a love that's built to last.

Verdict: Partners (in a happily ever after sense)

3. Corky and Violet (Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly), Bound

Hmm. These two are carnal and star-crossed, but they also seem destined to be together. And the sizzle is accompanied by a sense that they're on the same wavelength — they have a meeting of bodies and minds. I think I have my first tie.

Verdict: Partner-lovers (lesbian bed death will never strike!)

4. Agnes and Elin (Rebecka Liljeberg and Alexandra Dahlström), Show Me Love / F---ing Amal … continue reading

Is there such a thing as entertainment gaydar? Recently I came across an old friend on Facebook, whom I hadn’t seen in over a decade. Over the years, I’d wondered if perhaps she was gay — and once she had added me as a friend, I'll admit that I clicked over to her profile, curious to see if there would be anything about her sexual orientation there. While there wasn’t anything explicitly stated, I did see with interest that she listed The L Word as one of her favorite shows, and Brokeback Mountain and Chasing Amy as two of her favorite movies.

Now, entertainment gaydar, like any other gaydar, is based on stereotypes — and thus is bound to be somewhat unreliable. After all, there are plenty of straight people who like both The L Word and Brokeback Mountain. (And, actually, I think disliking Chasing Amy is probably a clearer sign of being a lesbian than liking it.) Nevertheless, this whole episode got me thinking about what a person’s tastes in entertainment may or may not say about her sexual orientation. And, using the popular AfterEllen.com forum thread "I’m so gay/I’m so not gay" as an inspiration, I decided to see how my tastes would stack up in the “stereotypically lesbianish” department.

To start off with the “I’m so not gay” category (hey, I may as well get the bit that will make me unpopular out of the way first):

1. I'll admit it — I don’t totally get the Tina Fey thing.

The fact that scribegrrrl, Dorothy Snarker, and Sarah Warn are all fans is enough to convince me that I must be missing something here — and who knows, maybe one day I will see the light. But I’ve seen 30 Rock, and the thing that amused me most about it was Alec Baldwin. (Who, whatever else he may or may not be, is definitively not lesbianish.)

2. I don’t watch The L Word.

The women on The L Word may be gay, but I’ve discovered that that, in and of itself, isn’t enough to make me identify with or deeply care about them. A little good writing goes an awfully long way.

3. I think Desert Hearts is a snooze-fest. … continue reading

Last Saturday night, while I was forgetting to record Tina Fey on SNL, a friend of mine excitedly told me that she's finally going to see the movie Personal Best when it airs on Logo (AfterEllen.com's parent company) Wednesday morning.

My friend has seen plenty of lesbian movies — we've seen about a zillion together — but this one is rarely on TV and was only recently released on DVD, so she's never managed to see it. And there are a number of reasons to see Personal Best. It's Mariel Hemingway's first lesbian role — and, for a straight woman, she's played a lot of lesbian roles.

It's also a great sports movie, and provides an interesting glimpse back at the Olympic Trials gearing up to the 1980 Summer Olympics. But most important, it was a watershed lesbian/bisexual movie. For many of us who were first struggling to come out in the '80s, it was the only mainstream lesbian or bisexual movie on our radar. … continue reading

We recently celebrated the 20th anniversary release of the classic lesbian film Desert Hearts on DVD with a "where are they now" piece on the actors who played Vivian (Helen Shaver) and Cay (Patricia Charbonneau), and an interview with director Donna Dietch.

The director, cast, and assorted friends got together for a party last night at the East West Lounge in L.A., and I snagged a couple photos for you:

Patricia Charbonneau, Donna Deitch and Helen Shaver

Erin Kelly (Loving Annabelle), event promoter Mariah Hanson, Patricia Charbonneau, Helen Shaver, comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer, Michelle Wolff (Dante's Cove)

I would like to this opportunity to reminisce about a few of Desert Heart's best lines — besides "she just reached in and put a string of lights around my heart," of course. Nothing can beat that one for its winning combination of corniness and vivid imagery, but here are a few really good lines from the film that were very memorable:

Vivian: [of her marriage] It drowned in still waters.

Cay: I don't act this way to change the world. I act this way so that the world won't goddamn change me!

Walter: [to Cay regarding her number of female visitors] How you get all that traffic with no equipment is beyond me!

and the game-changing exchange in the hotel room when Vivian finally stops fighting the love that dare not speak its name:

Vivian: I wouldn't know what to do.
Cay: You can start by putting the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door.

20 years later, that's still an excellent answer.

I don't know where I've been, but I just read that one of my favorite lesbian films, Desert Hearts, is coming out with a "Two-Disc Vintage Collection" on June 5, 2007.

… continue reading

The new release will contain never-before-seen footage of one of the best love scenes ever captured on film, new commentary by lesbian director Donna Deitch, and new interviews with Deitch and stars Helen Shaver and Patricia Charbonneau.