Well kids, I’ve made my peace with the finale of America’s Next Top Model. Believe me, if I’d written this recap as the credits were rolling, it most likely would have consisted of “Are you kidding me? What? No, no, no, no, no!” over and over and over. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, though, the inevitable win of Whitney seems for the best.

That’s right — good ol’ Plussie has won the almighty Cover Girl contract. It’s Whitney’s face you’ll be seeing in Wal-Marts everywhere, and during the next cycle of ANTM, we’ll learn all about her life as a Cover Girl (which, I hope, will be a hell of a lot more exciting than Tootie’s after her Cycle 9 win — not that wearing hair nets and visiting makeup factories isn’t exciting). All snark aside, congrats to Whitney for being the first plus size — excuse me — full-figured model to win on the show.

Photo credit: Jim DeYonker/The CW

Still, Anya was robbed. Robbed I say! I knew this going in, as some overenthusiastic East Coast friends spoiled the results for me. Had I been completely in the dark, however, the ridiculously slanted editing of this episode would have telegraphed the ending to me in 10-foot neon glittery letters that lasered directly into my brain.

The three remaining amigos — rather, the two remaining amigos and Fatima — immediately embarked on the most important mission yet: they’ve got to rescue the President! Wait, sorry: they’ve got to shoot commercials and print ads for Cover Girl. But the pressure is still high, and it’s so high, in fact, that Anya cries out of nervousness. It’s kind of like watching a rainbow fall down and squish a puppy.

Photo credit: Pottle Productions Inc./The CW

The last Cover Girl commercial the girls shot was The Italian Nightmare (“Brasilia!”), so they’re all a bit nervous; fortunately, the script is in English and there’s no movement required. They’ve all just got to stand there and talk about how awesome their mascara is, or something. The script may have been in English, but it was such a friggin’ tongue twister and they all had so much trouble with it that I couldn’t make out much more than “New lash blast last fast Cover Girl blast if a wood chuck could chuck wood.” … continue reading

This week’s episode of Gossip Girl, "Woman on the Verge," had me on the verge, as well – on the verge of slapping Dan upside his head and kicking Georgina’s behind all the way back to the gates of Hell from which she apparently escaped.

Serena’s "I killed someone" revelation last week left us eagerly awaiting the who, the why, the how, and surprisingly, it was all answered. Not surprisingly it was a tad anticlimactic. Isn’t that the case sometimes in life—the anticipation is more fun than the reality?

The episode starts the day after Serena tells Blair her secret and Serena is nowhere to be found. Georgina calls her a trillion times (getting angrier with each new voice mail), Dan calls her (sounding more desperate with each new attempt), and Serena’s mother (Lily) is annoyed because she’s waiting for Serena to get home and be helpful as it’s the day of her wedding rehearsal dinner. (Recap: she’s marrying Bart Bass, Chuck’s father, even though she still has feelings for Dan’s father Rufus. It’s all so complicated.)

Blair asks her two exes, Chuck and Nate, (who now hate each other) to meet at her place and she arrives home with a horribly hung-over Serena. Blair’s housekeeper secretly calls Serena’s mother to tell her that Serena seems to have fallen off the Good Girl wagon and has been run over by it.

Dan arrives at Blair’s and, when confronted for the umpteenth time about why she’s being weird, Serena tells Dan that she slept with some guy the night before because lying about that is better than telling the truth about being a murderer. (She has a point.)

Heartbroken Dan announces that he’s "done" and walks away from Serena as their friends look on. I mourned the loss of their relationship for 4.3 seconds and then wondered when Serena would begin mulling over Blair’s "I love you," from the night before. Fine, Serena had other things on her mind but she’ll get around to mulling, I just know it!

Dan, feeling all rejected, agrees to meet "Sara" (AKA Georgina’s alter-ego) for some quality crying on the shoulder time. Poor Dan is getting played like a nickel slot machine at a Vegas mini-mart. An all day sucker, that Dan.

All photos by Patrick Harbron/The CW

After Dan leaves, Serena finally opens up about the details of the secret. We have been lead to believe that Serena left town because she couldn’t deal with the guilt of having slept with her BFF’s boyfriend, but we learn that the night drunken Serena had sex with Nate , she met up with Georgina afterward to get even drunker and more drugged out of guilt. … continue reading

I've learned not to claim disdain for reality television. I'd love to, sure, but I'm so hopelessly addicted to America's Next Top Model that I have no room to talk smack. And after last night's episode — one of the most hilarious I've ever seen — I can say with assurance that I'm not heading to ANTM rehab anytime soon.

The final six contestants (Anya, Katarzyna, Whitney, Lauren, Fatima and Dominique) headed to Rome this week, got brief lessons in the Italian modeling industry, and filmed some truly awful Cover Girl commercials. There was so much to love in this episode, I don't even know where to begin.

Left to right: Lauren, Whitney, Katarzyna, Anya and Dominique

All photos by Elizabeth Carrillo/The CW

Well, I could start at the beginning, when Anya charmingly face-planted coming out of the van. I'm not kidding when I say "charmingly" — I don't know what it is about Anya, but she's so sweet and cute and nice and upbeat that she must be made out of unicorns or something. Unicorns covered in glitter. And rainbows. With sprinkles on top. … continue reading

Since the end of the fifth season of The L Word, Jill, Dara and I have hardly known what to do with ourselves. No sock puppets, no unnecessary close-ups, no purpose. We're looking forward to covering the first season of the show when it's aired on Logo this summer, but in the meantime we decided to amuse ourselves (and hopefully you) with a friendly game of L Word Trivia.

Do you remember who played Alice's mother on the show? How about the name of the art exhibition that got Bette into so much trouble with the conservatives? Neither did we, but we had fun guessing! So grab a pen and paper and play along with us — unlike Dara and I, if you outplay Jill, she can't rough you up.

Also, we mention in the vlog that we're planning another AfterEllen.com meet and greet in New York on May 18, hosted by Sarah and Lori and with us WGN'ers and Bridget McManus (Brunch with Bridget) in attendance. Initially, we thought Dara wouldn't be able to join us for this little outing, but it turns out that she can and we're thrilled. So you can just ignore the guilt trip we laid on her in the vlog, because it worked! (Look for details on the exact time and location of the event in our BLWE column in the next few weeks.)