Welcome to the first episode of Stacie Ponder's horror series Ghostella's Haunted Tomb, the runner-up in AfterEllen.com's Web Series Contest.

Broadcasting from her garage, hostess-wannabe Ghostella (Heidi Martinuzzi) presents the very best in B-Grade lesbian horror films.

The premiere episode features "Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear", the 1968 film widely considered to be a benchmark in lesbian vampire erotica. After a horrifying accident on a dark, deserted road, Laura and Eve find themselves under the spell of the mysterious Lady Mortidella. How long can they resist her seductive gaze?

Read our Q&A with creator Stacie Ponder to learn more about the inspiration behind the series, read Stacie's blog, and check back every Wednesday for new episodes.

Today marks the opening of Funny Games, writer-director Michael Haneke’s English-language remake of his own 1997 German-language film. I’d never seen the original, and I was quite hesitant about checking out the updated version — as much as I love horror movies, I’m really not into overly explicit violence and watching people suffer. Given that, going to watch a movie about a bourgeois family brutalized as a pair of psychopaths keep them captive in their summer home is something on my "to do" list that falls ... oh, somewhere between “scrub the floor” and “punch yourself in the face.” Earlier this week, though, I caught a screening. The “You really need to see it” urgings I received from a few trusted sources got me thinking about it, but in the end what got me to the theater was the fact that Funny Games stars Naomi Watts.

I’ll readily admit it — Watts is like kryptonite for me. My roommate is a film journalist and just this week had the opportunity to interview Naomi on the Funny Games press junket. While I was all cool as a cucumber on the outside with my “Wow, you’re so lucky I’m so jealous tell me if she’s really pretty I wonder how tall she is man you are soooo lucky,” on the inside I was ... well, let’s just say that I briefly considered buying some chloroform and a wig that looks like my roommate’s hair and going to the press conference in her stead. What? I didn’t DO it, sheesh. And I would have, like, done all the dishes for a week to make up for it. C’mon, man, it’s Naomi Watts!

I’ll see anything she’s in, just to see her. She’s displayed remarkable range in her career, and I honestly believe she’s one of the greatest working actresses today. Oh, and some people might kind of find her maybe a little bit attractive. … continue reading

People ask me all the time, “Wow, how in the world did you ever come up with your screen name?”

All right, fine ... no one ever asks me about it. But now that I’ve brought it up, aren’t you maybe just a little bit curious? Those of you with horror movie cred may have figured it out, but just in case you’re in the dark: The final girl, as usually seen in slasher films, is simply the last one alive. The phrase was coined by Carol Clover in her essential book on gender in horror movies, Men, Women, and Chainsaws, and she argues that having the hero of the film be, in fact, a heroine, the largely male target audience is “allowed” to take on the victim role without shame. To reinforce her point, Clover discusses movies where the final girl has an androgynous name, such as Hell Night, wherein Linda Blair portrays Marti, a college student trapped in a spooky mansion inhabited by a “gorked-out” family thought long dead.

It’s a tenuous argument at best; for every Marti found in slasherdom, there’s a Laurie or a Nancy. I suppose it all comes down to ... how much analysis do you want to put into these horror movies? Is the fact that the final girl is usually (but not always) a virginal “good” girl a statement about the perils of sex? Or does sex in horror mean boobs in horror, which in turn means money? Or does sex in horror simply put characters in vulnerable situations where the killer can strike?

Whether or not you agree that the strength of the final girl equates to a masculinization of the final girl, there’s no denying that she’s tough and resourceful. While everyone around her, friends and strangers alike, meets the business end of some cuckoo nutso killer’s knife, the final girl survives to take him (or, in rare instances, her) on. There’s no waiting around to be rescued by some guy — the final girl needs to take care of herself. Here are some of my favorite final girls to have graced the big screen.

1. Sally Hardesty: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

A simple trip to a swimmin’ hole turns into a nightmare beyond belief when Sally (Marilyn Burns) and her friends encounter Leatherface and his chainsaw. Sally survives a really gnarly family dinner and manages to escape Leatherface’s whirring blade. Sure, she ends up completely insane at the end of her ordeal, but who can blame her?

Burns’s mantle was picked up by Jessica Biel (as Erin) in the Chainsaw remake.

And Jordana Brewster had her shot at dueling against Leatherface in TCM: The Beginning. … continue reading

In a career spanning little more than 15 years, Lena Headey has appeared in close to 50 films. On-screen, she’s portrayed the tough-as-nails Queen Gorgo (300), the tough-as-nails Sarah Connor (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), the tough-as-nails super-sexy cave-diving scientist Kathryn (The Cave), and Luce, the ... uh ... hot-as-nails florist who wins Piper Perabo’s heart (Imagine Me and You).

Hell, if you dig deep enough into Headey’s past, you’ll even find that she’s appeared alongside a certain mulleted secret agent: I’m talking about the 1994 made-for-TV film MacGyver: Trail to Doomsday. My current to-do list has increased by one; to wit: 1) get peanut butter, 2) learn to live without sleep so I can play the new Silent Hill game all the time, 3) see MacGyver: Trail to Doomsday ASAP.

Though I’d leap at the chance to watch Headey read the phone book (eh, who am I kidding — I’d leap at the chance to watch Headey simply look at a phone book), as a horror fan I’m psyched because she’s got several genre flicks coming down the pike: The Broken, an Invasion of the Body Snatchers–esque thriller which earned good reviews at this year’s Sundance Film Festival; and the just-announced Black Death, an apocalyptic medieval gothic horror film about necromancy and ... you know, that bubonic plague thing. … continue reading

I think you'll agree with me that we just haven't seen enough of Amber Tamblyn lately.

Her talent was evident in the still-lamented Joan of Arcadia, and I expected to see a lot more of her, even when the series was canceled. True, she was cast in Babylon Fields, but the show didn't make it to air. (Actually, I was kind of relieved about that once I saw some of the icky trailers.) She also starred in a Hallmark movie, The Russell Girl, but if it aired, I missed it.

Tamblyn's upcoming movie, Spiral, is not the kind of film I normally watch, but the trailer drew me in. Spiral is the story of Mason, a reclusive artist with a boring job in a phone bank. Nobody but his boss, played by Chuck's Zachary Levi, even notices Mason until Tamblyn's character Amber (yes, Amber) befriends him. And then things get spooky. … continue reading

In the age of Suicide Girls and Elvira, when there’s a Hot Topic in virtually every town, it may be difficult to imagine a world in which there’s exactly one goth chick. In the mid-1950s, however, goth wasn’t at all trendy, cool, or a look to delve into to get back at your parents because they’re so square and they never let you do anything you want to do and they just don’t get it, that it’s totally, like, expressing yourself through the power of piercings, ill-fitting clothes and Manic Panic hair dye. Nope, in the mid-1950s there really was only one goth chick in the whole wide world, and that goth chick was Vampira. Horror fans lost a true pioneer on January 10, when Vampira died in her sleep at the age of 86.

Born in Finland as Maila Syrjaniemi, she immigrated to the United States with her family at the age of two and eventually took the surname Nurmi after Paavo Nurmi, a Finnish runner whom Maila claimed was her uncle. At 17, Maila left Ohio and headed to Hollywood to pursue her dream of becoming an actress. Like so many other hopeful young women, Nurmi turned to modeling to pay the bills; she would pose for photographer Man Ray and renowned pinup artist Alberto Vargas, soon finding herself in the pages of men’s magazines such as Glamourous Models. However, it was a masquerade party in 1953 that would forever change both Maila’s life and the world of the late-night TV horror movie.

Maila showed up at the party in a costume inspired by the work of cartoonist Charles Addams, in particular a character who would be christened “Morticia” ten years later when The Addams Family appeared on television. Nurmi’s black wig (she was a natural blonde) and tight black dress caught the eye of Los Angeles television producer Hunt Stromberg, Jr, a moment that would eventually lead to the May 1, 1954 premiere of The Vampira Show on KABC-TV. The world’s first horror host had arrived, armed with pale skin, a scream like no other, an arsenal of terrible puns and a seemingly impossible 17-inch waist. … continue reading

We've been raving about Juno lately, praising both its star, Ellen Page, and its writer, Diablo Cody. If you haven't heard much about Cody, here's the short version: Cody (née Brook Busey) is a former stripper who was "discovered" when a talent manager stumbled upon her blog. It's the kind of story that makes you suspicious — you wonder whether she really deserves it, or just got lucky because some schlub was Googling "stripper" one evening. But even if she never pens another screenplay as good as Juno, that one alone makes her a star in my book.

For some people, though, that might have to be all she wrote, at least for a while. Cody's next film is a horror movie, and it sounds pretty gory. Titled Jennifer's Body, it's the tale of a homecoming queen who is possessed by satanic forces and starts to actually devour the boys she dates. "The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun" meets Freeway, maybe, plus a dash of Sweeney Todd? Early word is that the tone will be more like Heathers — but with more blood. I'm already looking forward to it.

This week, Jennifer's Body got a director, Karyn Kusama. Cody expressed her excitement on her MySpace blog:

I'm stoked as hell. More than anyone, she gets it. She gets it. I'm feeling an early-stage mind-meld, and it is excellent.

Megan Fox (Transformers) will play Jennifer. … continue reading

Not too long ago, I went out with a bunch of friends and tied one on. As I wasn’t saddled with designated driver duties, I really tied one on, imbibing enough vodka crannies to keep an Ocean Spray shareholder happy. Believe me, I’m not trying to be cool here — I’m just setting the scene, putting you right in the heart of the action!

Around 2 a.m., we made our way to a Trendy Hollywood Eatery for a bite. We all settled in and placed our orders, and I was inordinately excited about the omelette that would soon be mine, all mine! Glancing over at the large party to my left, I spotted actress Mena Suvari having some late-night (or is that early-morning?) chow as well. I immediately whispered to all my friends, “Omigodyouguysh look look looklooklook no don’t look! I think tha’sh Mena Shuvari aaahhh she can shoooooo effing rock that buzzhcut!” Of course, my tongue felt as large as a Nerf football and I’m sure I was “whispering” a bit too loudly. But no matter! Have you seen the buzz cut? I mean, come on.

At any rate, my food arrived just in time to create a much-needed diversion, and my friends all assure me that I only embarrassed myself a bit that evening by going on and on…and on about how my eggs were the most awesome eggs in the history of ever. The point of all this is that had I been aware of the movie Stuck during this near encounter, I don’t think even the mighty power of eggs could have prevented me from ... well, from making a complete fool of myself.

Stuck, you see, has Mena teaming up with veteran horror director Stuart Gordon, the man behind genre classics such as Re-Animator and From Beyond, to tell the fictionalized tale of Chante Jawan Mallard. … continue reading

I can’t say that I really consider myself to be a trend-follower. Despite this, however, I’ve got my finger firmly on the pulse of everything that’s cool, hip and happening! I know all about what the kids are into these days, whether it’s invisible cola, pet rocks, or even the macarena. Because I care, I’d like to impart a bit of insight into the latest fad sweeping the globe: Replacing amputated limbs with firearms!

It all began during that magical era known as “last spring” when Rose McGowan ... ahem ... blasted her way onto the screen in Planet Terror, the Robert Rodriguez–helmed half of Grindhouse. As go-go dancer Cherry Darling, McGowan proved that there’s something oddly alluring about a gal blasting away at zombies with a machine gun that’s been crammed into her thigh. Who knew?

Upping the ante in machine-gun chic is the forthcoming Japanese flick The Machine Girl (Kataude mashin garu), a film that concerns a schoolgirl out for revenge when her family is killed (and her arm is amputated) by the Yakuza. … continue reading

Boo! Did I scare you? No, well, fine. But I do know a scary secret. Lean close, I'll tell you. Closer. A bit closer. Boo! OK, come on, that time I had to scare you, just a little. Actually, this news is probably only truly terrifying to the actresses whose dirty little secrets I’m about to spill. You see, before they were screen queens, these ladies were all scream queens. Sure, they’re all big Oscar winners, A-listers and TV stars now. But at the start of their careers, they were just glorified bait. Here's a look at 10 actresses' horrific early careers.

Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, 1978): Like mother, like daughter. Jamie Lee followed in her mom Janet Leigh’s bloody footprints by squaring off with a Psycho killer. But at least Jamie got to live to fight another day, albeit two decades later in Halloween H20. … continue reading

Considering it's the season of goblins, ghouls and other assorted creatures of the night, I thought I might hop online to see if any new vampire movies are set to debut in the near future. (I would go see 30 Days of Night, but Josh Hartnett bugs me for some reason.) And what to my wondering eye should appear but news of a third Underworld film.

Naturally, my heart leapt with joy at the prospect of more time spent ogling Kate Beckinsale in that tight little number she wears so well.

But alas, while a filming schedule has been announced, word has it that the lovely Ms. Beckinsale is not involved in the project. Apparently, the writer/director of the Underworld franchise, Len Wiseman (who just happens to be married to the lovely Beckinsale), has chosen to do a prequel rather than a sequel. Yes, it is the movie kiss of death. … continue reading

Theoretically, the Spike TV Scream Awards should totally not be my thing. First, it’s on Spike TV, the channel with the subtle tagline “Get More Action” and programming aimed at the young adult male market. You know, the polar opposite of Lifetime Television for Women. Second, it’s an award show dedicated to horror, sci-fi and fantasy. While I enjoy a lot of sci-fi and fantasy, I’ve never been a big horror fan. I can’t help it; I scare easily. And finally, I can’t take any event seriously that asks Paris Hilton to appear. But then I heard Lena Headey would also be there, and suddenly all that other stuff didn’t seem to matter that much.

Oh, Lena. Even your crazy choice of potato-sack couture could not deter my devotion. Now I’m going to have to tape the telecast and fast-forward to your parts. Or, better yet, wait until some similarly stalkerish devoted fan posts the clips online.

The Scream Awards were held last Friday in Los Angeles, and the broadcast airs at 10:00 tonight on Spike. And for those of you with a somewhat less obsessive view of lovely Lena, there are some other reasons to watch. Like, say, Rosario Dawson’s tongue: … continue reading

I knew I shouldn't have blogged last week about how watching Naomi Watts in The Ring inflicted sweaty night terrors on me. Alas, the things I know aren't good for me, I sometimes love the more. (As I found out when I fell for that bi-curious straight girl in my dorm, and at work, and at school, and yes, I'm still on the subject of things that cause screaming horror.) So when I tried to sleep this weekend, I paid for that blog with visions of this. What is it about bathroom scenes that get to me?

Actually, I am a fan of horror and suspense. I do better when it's in book form, though, because my own imagination, scary as that can be, doesn't leave behind residual flashes of horror when I close my eyes. Since I'm not going to be able to sleep again tonight anyway, and Ace is still fighting Poltergeist flashbacks herself, I thought it might be interesting to hear about those moments from TV and movies that inspired sleepless nights in all of us. Here are my other nominations for truly scary moments, in order of traumas since childhood.

1. V: the original TV miniseries (1983). And by scary, I don't mean the '80s hair and special effects; this alien-invasion thriller is the Cold War–era ancestor of Independence Day.

… continue reading