So, if you watched last night’s telecast of the 50th Grammy Awards, you probably have some questions. Questions like, who is that guy, and why did he steal Amy Winehouse’s Grammy for Best Album of the Year? Or how is it that the Beatles won only four Grammys when they were together, while Fergie already has three? Or did Amy really thank her husband as “my Blake incarcerated” in her acceptance speech? Yes, yes she did. So without further ado, here are some of your most burning (though hopefully not itching) Grammy questions revealed.

Q: How it is it that the most electrifying performer in the room wasn’t even in the room?

A: Visa problems kept The Winehouse 5,500 miles away in London, but she still electrified via satellite with a performance that was equal parts raw, campy, sassy and defiant. Plus, she brought the one thing the somewhat stodgy awards affair sorely lacked — the air of unpredictability. God bless you, Amy Winehouse. Now get back to rehab and get better. … continue reading

I don't frequent Victoria's Secret stores. I don't watch those lame Victoria's Secret TV specials. I don't peruse the Victoria's Secret catalog and never have, not even when one of my college friends insisted it was the perfect study break.

So, fine; I didn't really expect to like the 2008 What Is Sexy? list, which was released by Victoria's Secret earlier today. But nor did I expect to be thoroughly confused by it. You've probably seen headlines about the most ridiculous one: Ryan Seacrest made the list for "sexiest smile." Ryan Seacrest? I think they must have accidentally copied and pasted from their What Is Icky? list.

But let's talk about the women on the list, starting with the one that really made me say "Whaaaaat?" in a Jill Bennett–esque way:

Sexiest Mom: Victoria Beckham

Uh. Did they mean Sexiest Person You Always Forget Is a Mom, Because, Really, Since When Can Mannequins Reproduce? I can think of many better candidates. Salma Hayek, for one.

Sexiest Actress: Eva Mendes … continue reading

Look, I don’t consider myself a prude. Sure, I sometimes furiously fly my feminist flag, but otherwise I’m pretty hard to shock. And I’m the last person on the planet to tell consenting adults what they should and shouldn’t do in the privacy of their own homes. Still, when I saw these pictures of Rihanna and Hayden Panettiere for the latest issue of GQ, my only thought was “Ewww.” Like, seriously, ewww.

Now, it’s not just the poses that give me pause. It’s the context. Ah, isn’t it always the context? Let’s start with Rihanna. The magazine took the 19-year-old pop star and bent her over the knee of 30-year-old fellow singer Robin Thicke, whose hand is mid-spank. Nope, nothing creepy about that. And nothing creepy about these either.

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And then there is Hayden.

I know you have an opinion on the Ellen brouhaha. So do I. So does, well, everybody. But I believe that in the midst of the most heated controversy, we can find common ground. Women. We all love women. And where you find women who love women, you find women who love animals. In the spirit of unity, then, let's look at women we love and their pets. OK, yes, it's an excuse to post pictures of cute women. Starting with Joss Stone and Dusty.

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Every year it seems that one song above all others gets the cover treatment. This summer, that song has been Rihanna’s ubiquitous “Umbrella.” Thanks to that simple piece of pop perfection, I will never again get caught in the rain without wishing some kind soul would look at me and say, “You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh.” And, apparently, I’m not the only one. Artists as varied as Tegan and Sara and Mandy Moore have rendered their versions, with surprisingly effective results.

So, in the spirit of Friday and our seemingly never-ending desire to see celebrities face off with each other (seriously, how else can you explain Dancing With the Stars?), I give you the end-of-summer battle royal. Let’s call it The Umbrella Ultimatum ’07, because, uh, that sounds cool. At this point, you need to imagine that “Let’s get ready to rumbllllle!” dude’s voice.

In one corner — wearing rocker T-shirts and seriously lesbian hair — are those Canadian cuties, those twin titans: Tegan and Sara. … continue reading

As Time magazine points out, MTV isn't anyone's primary source of music videos these days. But the Video Music Awards still have a home on the channel. This year's nominees include Beyoncé (seven nominations), Rihanna (five nominations) and Amy Winehouse (three nominations). Those three are nominated for Female Artist of the Year, along with Fergie and Nelly Furtado.

The Best New Artist nominees include Winehouse, Lily Allen and Carrie Underwood. Meanwhile, Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" is nominated for Monster Single of the Year, which seems perfectly appropriate to me, especially in the sense of City-Eating, Village-Decimating, Brain-Sucking Single of the Year.

If Rihanna wins, she'll match her Moonman statuette:

Beyoncé's slew of nominations include four for "Beautiful Liar," her duet with Shakira. I still don't really know what the "Liar" part is about, but the "Beautiful" is clear.

And here's Amy Winehouse in the "Rehab" video, which is nominated for Video of the Year. Yes, yes, yes. … continue reading