Abbie Cornish is not, I repeat not, the new Bond Girl.

The Olsen twins also are not the new Bond Girls. And just to ease the minds of any aspiring Bond Girls out there, I have taken myself out of the running, too.

When actors go to the trouble of announcing that they are most definitely not in certain roles, I envision a kid in a classroom frantically waving her hand, “Pick me! Pick me!” In Cornish’s case, though, a rumor was circulating that she was under consideration for the part. Her good friend Rose Byrne even said it was true. But now that we know better, we can move on to more important things. Like who will be the next bikini-clad hottie to wave her barely covered cleavage my, er, Bond’s way. … continue reading

For the most part, the things I enjoy about Shakira are decidedly non-cerebral. Certainly, this does not discredit or downplay the many philanthropic endeavors by the Colombian superstar. But to be honest, whenever I see her perform, my higher brain functions shut off as I stare mouth agape and grunt out a monosyllabic “Hips. Hips go fast. How hips do?”

Still, it’s nice to know that even while she is turning my brain into a primordial puddle, the woman herself is expanding her horizons. People en espanol reports that the singer has been studying the History of Western Civilization all summer at the University of California, Los Angeles. Man, Shakira’s “What I did over my summer vacation” essay is totally going to put Paris’ to shame. Of course, anything not written in in crayon would probably do that already. … continue reading

As Time magazine points out, MTV isn't anyone's primary source of music videos these days. But the Video Music Awards still have a home on the channel. This year's nominees include Beyoncé (seven nominations), Rihanna (five nominations) and Amy Winehouse (three nominations). Those three are nominated for Female Artist of the Year, along with Fergie and Nelly Furtado.

The Best New Artist nominees include Winehouse, Lily Allen and Carrie Underwood. Meanwhile, Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" is nominated for Monster Single of the Year, which seems perfectly appropriate to me, especially in the sense of City-Eating, Village-Decimating, Brain-Sucking Single of the Year.

If Rihanna wins, she'll match her Moonman statuette:

Beyoncé's slew of nominations include four for "Beautiful Liar," her duet with Shakira. I still don't really know what the "Liar" part is about, but the "Beautiful" is clear.

And here's Amy Winehouse in the "Rehab" video, which is nominated for Video of the Year. Yes, yes, yes. … continue reading