Ah, summer: time for swimming, frolicking, eating ice cream, sitting in a dark room and crying because all the good television shows are on hiatus until fall.

Kidding, of course! Summer is a time of great optimism for television addicts. You can catch up on any shows you missed, because last fall's shows will be hitting DVD any day now. You can watch the Television Critics Association's summer press tour, hoping to catch a glimpse of any fall shows that will feature strong, confident, beautiful women in leading rolls. (And maybe if we're lucky, even some lesbian subtext!) You can even take a look at the Television Critics Association's Summer poll and set your TiVo (or order your Netflix queue) accordingly.

According to the Television Critics Association's summer poll, here are the best and worst of shows of 2008:

Best:

I definitely agree with the first seven. I haven't seen Breaking Bad or In Treatments. I can say, however, that even as a history nut, watching Laura Linney make out with Paul Giamatti in John Adams is downright yucky. … continue reading

God, that was depressing. I mean that in a good way – I think. For the last four seasons, House has had one pervading mantra amid all the misanthropic behavior and brilliant diagnosis: everybody lies. Well last night in the season finale, one of the letters changed. Now, it’s everybody dies. So buckle up and break out a fresh box of Kleenex. You’re going to need it.

Last week was the frenetic “House’s Head,” with its smutty twists and turns. This week is the wrenching “Wilson’s Heart,” with its slow decent into the great unknown. To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect, but I know I didn’t expect this.

The episode opens in Amber’s hospital room. Battered and bandaged, she is unconscious and her heart is racing. But the doctors at the inferior hospital don’t know why. House and Wilson, through a little telling subterfuge, get her moved to their state-of-the-art Princeton-Plainsboro.

In the ambulance over, she goes into V-fib. But instead of using shocking her heart back into rhythm, Wilson convinces House to ice her down. More medical jargon ensues but the gist is that it slows down her heart and keeps it from destroying her brain. It’s the medical equivalent of “pressing pause” and will buy House time to use his big old brain.

But poor House’s head has been through a lot in the last two days. It’s gotten drunk, been hit by a bus, been given a lap dance, been hypnotized, been sensory deprived, been dosed with Alzheimer’s medication, and, finally, been on the business end of a heart attack. Even given all of that, House is acting curiously unHouse-like. … continue reading

Stripper Cuddy! Stripper Cuddy!! Stripper Cuddy!!! There, now that we have that out of the way, we can begin this week's House mini-recap. Stripper Cuddy! Oops, sorry, guess there was one more left in there.

Part one of the two-part season finale, “House's Head,” gave us the aforementioned stripper Cuddy, a horrific bus crash, retrograde amnesia, Thirteen's real name and one whopper of a plot twist. All in all, it was a-freaking-mazing.

The penultimate episode opened in, naturally, a strip club. A disoriented House watched a dancer do her thing, but realizes something is amiss. He can't remember how he got to the club. He can't remember what he did before he got to the club. And he can't remember why he is bleeding. Wow, I hate that when that happens. … continue reading

Even when House is wrong, he's right. In last night's episode, "Living the Dream," Dr. Feelbad kidnaps, drugs and bribes — all in the day's diagnosis. You know, normal House stuff.

The episode opens on the set of House's favorite soap opera. As the fake Dr. Sterling Brock (Sex and the City's resident hunk Jason Lewis) leaves for the day, his chauffeur is, you guessed it, a cranky guy with a limp.

Photo credit: Isabella Vosmikova/FOX

You see, House is kidnapping Dr. Sterling, aka Evan Greer, because he is convinced from watching the show that the actor has a brain tumor. Wow, now that's what I call a dedicated fan. Actually, House claims he is saving Evan because he wants to know if the baby turns out to be his on the soap. Like I said, he's a dedicated fan.

Photo credit: Chris Haston/NBC Universal-Fox

The episode is part spoof on stalker fans, part existential examination of happiness. You see, Evan isn't very happy. Sure, he's a ridiculously handsome fellow and a beloved star of a hot soap. But he's not happy with his work. The episode also gives us the brief return of Cameron and an even briefer peek into Thirteen's personal life. … continue reading

Niceness as a sickness? Oh, yeah, House is definitely back. Last night's first-post strike episode, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," opened with a not-so-sly wink at the writers strike that kept the show off the air for months. Picketers holding familiar-looking red, black and white signs march up and down the sidewalk. But wait, those are nurses, not Hollywood scribes. And so enters Gregory House, M.D.

Photo credit: Art Streiber/Fox

With the nurses on strike, the good bad doctor hides out in the emergency room to avoid Cuddy. She is trying to get him to help in the E.R., so clearly it's the last place she'd look for him. But House finds something interesting instead. A man who doesn't mind waiting for hours in the E.R. Clearly, this is a sick, sick man. Well that or, as House asks, "Is he Canadian?" … continue reading

Dr. Feelbad is back. Television's most misanthropic M.D. and his much-maligned minions return tonight as House begins airing its first post-strike episodes. When last we saw the not-so-good doctor, he was teasing new hire Thirteen (The O.C.'s Olivia Wilde) about her newly revealed bisexuality. Now that the show is back for four new episodes, here's hoping Thirteen's sexuality is back as well.

Photo credit: Chris Haston/NBC Universal/Fox

Tonight's episode, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," involves a patient House thinks is — yes, you guessed it — simply too darn nice. This season has revolved largely around House and the search for his new team, which was finally whittled down to Thirteen, Taub (Peter Jacobson), Kutner (Kal Penn) and reluctant returnee Foreman (Omar Epps). Former candidate Amber Volakis (Anne Dudek) — unaffectionately known as Cutthroat Bitch — and current girlfriend to House's best friend, Wilson, is also back. … continue reading

To fully appreciate this post, I'd like everyone to sing the Welcome Back, Kotter theme song. All together now: “Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out…” Hmm, too young for the Sweathogs? OK, how about Eminem's “Without Me” instead? Ready: “Guess who's back? Back again…” Look, if you're too young for that one then it's time to go back to your carpet and finish nap time, m'kay? My point -- and I just might actually have one -- is that this week it's time to officially welcome back television. … continue reading

Ever wondered what people with really high IQs do in their spare time? Neither have I. Well, OK, I have wondered what some of them do. To the point of distraction, in fact.

But whether you wanted to know or not, Fancast reports that MENSA chairman Jim Werdell watches about 10 hours of television every day. (The average American watches four and a half hours.) And apparently, the combination of high IQ and television addiction makes Werdell qualified to list the 10 smartest TV shows of all time.

I won't argue with No. 1, simply because my daddy's favorite television show was M*A*S*H and he was smart. That's good enough for me.

I'll also concede that Frasier, All in the Family and West Wing deserve spots on the list. (Dang, how much do you miss C.J.?) … continue reading

After two, yes two, months away, House is finally back tonight. But, before you get all “Yay, Olivia Wilde, yay!” on me, let me break the bad news to you. The medical drama has only three new pre-strike episodes left. And they will blow them all within the next week. House’s new diagnostic team had better be fast learners.

Now, I’m not sure why Fox would hoard the last remaining new episodes until the new year, only to blow through them as quickly as possible. And don’t lie about the hoarding, Fox. Call me Sherlock, but something tells me tonight’s episode wasn’t supposed to air at the end of January.

  … continue reading

Whenever I see someone with one of those “Kill Your Television” bumper stickers, I feel two distinct emotions. One, shut up, Smuggy McSmugerson. I bet you don’t read the copies of The New Yorker in your bathroom either. And two, yeah, sometimes I do feel like taking a 12-gauge to the old idiot box. This year I got my usual mix of joy and pain from my television. The highs were so very fantastic. The lows so very sucktastic. Here's a rundown of my top and bottom five TV shows for 2007.

Five I Loved:

1) 30 Rock: Everything about this show, well, rocks. It’s smart, funny, geeky and good to the gays — just like its creator, Tina Fey. She is the antidote to the mediocrity that keeps trying to choke our culture into submission. This show alone is reason enough to own a television. … continue reading

Although House debuted last week, things really get interesting tonight when everyone’s favorite TV misanthrope hires 40 new doctors for his medical team. Among them is Olivia Wilde, everyone’s favorite bisexual character from The O.C. (OK, there were only two — what’s your point?)

I like her more as a brunette; she looks less, well, O.C. Her character (named 13 because House is too lazy to learn everyone’s names and instead gives them all numbers — oh, House, I love you) is a bit of a mystery, apparently. She doesn’t like giving out personal information and is “very self possessed, incredibly confident, but not arrogant. She is kind of cool, calm and collected.” Let Olivia tell you the rest. [Warning: Spoilers] … continue reading

Welcome to the O.C., House. Olivia Wilde, the artist formerly know as Marissa’s girlfriend (not to mention a blond), will join the cast of the misanthropic Fox medical drama next season among a fresh crop of new docs. The series ended on a bit of a cliffhanger last season as Dr. Gregory House (the brilliantly bitter Hugh Laurie) saw his entire team either quit or be fired. Looks like the cranky doc will solve his problem by hiring a whole gaggle of new doctors unaware of the abuse they are about to endure.

The new faces include Olivia, as well as Kal Penn (Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle), Peter Jacobson (The Starter Wife), Anne Dudek (Bones, Numb3rs) and Edi Gathegi (Veronica Mars, Lincoln Heights). However, it isn’t clear how long all of the new MDs will stick around. And despite their apparent lack of gainful employment, all of last season’s regulars — Eric Foreman (Omar Epps), Robert Chase (Jesse Spencer) and Allison Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) — will be back. … continue reading