I’ve decided that Photoshop has destroyed our perception of beauty. There, I’ve said it. Many of you might disagree, but please hear me out. Photoshop is am amazing invention. I bow to all those with superior Photoshopping skills. Heck, I wish I had them. But at some point, when it comes to representing actual human beings, enough is enough. This isn’t a new complaint, of course. Poor Faith Hill was so thoroughly nipped, tucked, sucked and plucked by Redbook in that now-famous Jezebel expose that she probably half expected to get a plastic surgery bill in the mail. But after seeing the recent shots of Demi Moore for V Magazine, my eyes glazed over again as I looked at what some photo editor thought an already beautiful woman should look like.

Apparently, she’s supposed to look like Lucite. Demi Moore is a great looking woman, period. At 45, she is probably in better shape than most women half her age. But these shots, these shots don’t show a healthy, vibrant 45-year-old woman. They don’t show a real woman at all. At any age, our faces — our entire bodies — have lines and contours, ripples and bulges. They have depth and dimension and, yes, imperfections. And often times it’s those imperfections that make us more beautiful. Can you spot an imperfection here? Or any glint of humanity, for that matter?

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Boo! Did I scare you? No, well, fine. But I do know a scary secret. Lean close, I'll tell you. Closer. A bit closer. Boo! OK, come on, that time I had to scare you, just a little. Actually, this news is probably only truly terrifying to the actresses whose dirty little secrets I’m about to spill. You see, before they were screen queens, these ladies were all scream queens. Sure, they’re all big Oscar winners, A-listers and TV stars now. But at the start of their careers, they were just glorified bait. Here's a look at 10 actresses' horrific early careers.

Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, 1978): Like mother, like daughter. Jamie Lee followed in her mom Janet Leigh’s bloody footprints by squaring off with a Psycho killer. But at least Jamie got to live to fight another day, albeit two decades later in Halloween H20. … continue reading

My friend J told me a story recently that left me nonplussed. Her teenage daughter wanted to see Pretty in Pink, after watching a Veronica Mars episode in which Meg and Duncan dressed up as characters from the movie. So J rented it, along with one of her own '80s favorites, St. Elmo’s Fire.

Daughter and friends liked Pretty in Pink, so they popped in Fire. J was in the kitchen as they watched, enjoying their noisy laughter. Until she remembered that St. Elmo’s Fire wasn’t all that funny. So she went into the den to find her daughter in tears from laughing so hard. “Oh, Mom, this is SO lame!”

Lame? St. Elmo’s Fire? It’s a classic. A classic! … continue reading

Cable network A&E has signed on to develop a new pilot called Danny Fricke. The show centers on a female homicide detective in Los Angeles. The deal hinges on the casting of the pilot, specifically the lead. A&E executives want her to be "sexy, smart and tough, and believable as a detective." Since Mariska Hargitay already has a job, I figured it couldn't hurt to offer the folks over at A&E a few helpful suggestions. Of course, I have a couple of criteria of my own to add. In order to be believable as a homicide cop, she can't be 20 years old, and she can't be a size zero. In no particular order, here are my suggestions. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts.

5. Rose Rollins

She plays a tough MP on The L Word, so a Los Angeles homicide cop isn't too much of a stretch. Plus, she looks like she could actually arrest someone. She can arrest me anytime she wants.

4. Demi Moore

She wore a gun and a badge in Mr. Brooks and made us believe she was a Navy Seal in G.I. Jane. Throw in a few Charlie's Angels–inspired action sequences and I'm sold. … continue reading

Now that Lord Voldemort has returned, I've been thinking about villains lately. In particular, sure, He Who Must Not Be Named is scary, but why is it that male villains are usually so unattractive? What is it about evilness that makes male villains turn into hairless, unicorn blood-drinking tyrants with no fashion sense? (See Darth Vader for another option: still hairless, but that helmet clearly makes him fashion-challenged.)

Female villains, on the other hand, tend to be uniformly hot (and sometimes uniformed). Maybe it's because the female villain partly emerges from the long (and, dare I say it, glorious) tradition of the dominatrix: She'll whip your ass, and she'll look fantastic while doing it. And no, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Without further ado, here are my top 10 female villains:

10. Jordana Brewster as Lucy Diamond in D.E.B.S.

Clad all in black and bent on world domination, Lucy Diamond doesn't let her previously foiled plots (including an attempt to sink Australia) get her down. In D.E.B.S., she sets her sights on D.E.B.S. agent Amy (Sara Foster), and she quickly succeeds in seducing her.

Here's a (mysteriously silent) video of Lucy smooching Amy: … continue reading