After last week’s poor choice of theme on American Idol, I remember thinking to myself, “Self, it can only get better from here.” I was incredibly mistaken. It appears as though every theme will eventually repeat itself later in the season under the guise of a different name: “Songs from the Lennon/McCartney Songbook” became “Beatles Night,” and now “'80s Night” has morphed into “Songs from the Year You Were Born.” Oh, boy. (I can only count down the days until Dolly Parton is the mentor!)

Ramiele Malubay kicked things off with a performance of Heart’s “Alone,” prompting the inevitable comparison to Carrie Underwood’s performance of the same back in Season 4. Who sang it better? You decide.

Ramiele Malubay:

Carrie Underwood: … continue reading

So, if you watched last night’s telecast of the 50th Grammy Awards, you probably have some questions. Questions like, who is that guy, and why did he steal Amy Winehouse’s Grammy for Best Album of the Year? Or how is it that the Beatles won only four Grammys when they were together, while Fergie already has three? Or did Amy really thank her husband as “my Blake incarcerated” in her acceptance speech? Yes, yes she did. So without further ado, here are some of your most burning (though hopefully not itching) Grammy questions revealed.

Q: How it is it that the most electrifying performer in the room wasn’t even in the room?

A: Visa problems kept The Winehouse 5,500 miles away in London, but she still electrified via satellite with a performance that was equal parts raw, campy, sassy and defiant. Plus, she brought the one thing the somewhat stodgy awards affair sorely lacked — the air of unpredictability. God bless you, Amy Winehouse. Now get back to rehab and get better. … continue reading

I have a disclosure to make: “Ace” is not my full name. It's actually “Ace Randy Gal.” I have, however, been known to answer to “Carnage Lady.” And occasionally to “Calendar Gay.”

These monikers are the result of a boring afternoon at work coupled with the The Internet Anagram Server. Put a bunch of word nerds in the same room as an anagram server, and you've got yourself a party! That was eight years or so ago. “Ace” stuck, and the anagram server (plus the less labor-intensive Anagram Genius Server) get revisited from time to time. Recently, I spent some time procrastinating with the servers and had a blast. Because I'm that big a geek. And because I really didn't want to do my work.

I learned that one of my friends is an “Arch Lesbian.” And that an AfterEllen.com staffer could be an “Old Animal.” And that there are no good anagrams for my girlfriend's name. (However, one version of our dog's name comes out to “Destroyer and Might,” which I think he likes.)

But on the celebrity front, the possibilities abound. (For the record, all of the following anagrams come from the Internet Anagram Server, the Anagram Genius Server or the Anagram Genius Archive.)

I began with The L Word, just because.

Kate Moennig, appropriately, is “Token Enigma.” And Erin Daniels is “Ideal Sinner.” (I'm sure my girlfriend thinks so, anyway.) And Jenny Schecter is “Insufferable, dog-killing wack job.” (But that's just commentary, not an anagram.) Mia Kirshner is “Shinier Mark” (but if you misspell “Kirshner” as “Kirschner,” you get “Manic Shirker”!) Jenny Schecter + Sounder = “Jesus! Northern Decency.” Daniela Sea is “A sane ideal.” And, for the record, Bette Porter + Tina Kennard = “Broke, penitent retardant.” … continue reading

The He-Man Woman-Hater's Club met in Nashville this week to dole out the Country Music Association Awards. Accordingly, all of the awards, save for “Female Vocalist of the Year,” went to the boys.

OK, I'm exaggerating a little. But not that much. Four awards went to three women, one of whom was part of a male-female duo. Carrie Underwood was named Female Vocalist of the Year, and her single, “Before He Cheats,” won Single of the Year.

The New Horizon award went to 17-year-old Taylor Swift, who tearfully exclaimed, "This is definitely the highlight of my senior year [in high school]."

And a Kristen Hall-less Sugarland took home Vocal Duo of the Year. … continue reading

In anticipation of her new album Carnival Ride, American Idol winner Carrie Underwood is doing some press, and what she wants us to know is that she's not a dumb blonde. (Actually she wants the readers of Seventeen to know that she's not a dumb blonde. But I doubt she wants us to believe she's one, either.)

Here's the full quote:

“It bugs me that because I'm a blonde from Oklahoma who sings country music, people think I'm stupid. People don't give us Oklahomans credit. We don't ride around in covered wagons! We have indoor plumbing. We're smart, good people. I won't say I'm business savvy, exactly, but I have common sense.”

I think that riding in a covered wagon is more a symbol of being from the 18th century than it is of being stupid. And, actually, it kind of bespeaks a bold, adventuresome nature — being a Western settler was not for the faint of heart! … continue reading

As Time magazine points out, MTV isn't anyone's primary source of music videos these days. But the Video Music Awards still have a home on the channel. This year's nominees include Beyoncé (seven nominations), Rihanna (five nominations) and Amy Winehouse (three nominations). Those three are nominated for Female Artist of the Year, along with Fergie and Nelly Furtado.

The Best New Artist nominees include Winehouse, Lily Allen and Carrie Underwood. Meanwhile, Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" is nominated for Monster Single of the Year, which seems perfectly appropriate to me, especially in the sense of City-Eating, Village-Decimating, Brain-Sucking Single of the Year.

If Rihanna wins, she'll match her Moonman statuette:

Beyoncé's slew of nominations include four for "Beautiful Liar," her duet with Shakira. I still don't really know what the "Liar" part is about, but the "Beautiful" is clear.

And here's Amy Winehouse in the "Rehab" video, which is nominated for Video of the Year. Yes, yes, yes. … continue reading

After tallying 110,000 votes cast on on its website, animal rights organization PETA today announced their annual picks for the world's sexiest vegetarians. American Idol-winner and country star Carrie Underwood claimed the female title this year (as she did in 2005):

… continue reading