So, as I mentioned in the L Word recap this week, today is my last day as an AfterEllen.com staffer. (I just have a new job; there's no big drama here.) I'll miss this place! To commemorate the day (yes, I'm commemorating myself — so?), here are some goodbye scenes and songs that say farewell better than I ever could.

The Way We Were, final scene

It's the laughter we'll remember. And the greatness of Barbra.

Casablanca, "We'll always have Paris"

We'll always have AfterEllen.com. Somehow that doesn't have the same ring to it.

The Carol Burnett Show, "I'm So Glad We Had This Time Together" … continue reading

It's true: A musical version of The Diary of Anne Frank will hit the stage in Madrid next month. And that is a first. Although the story of the Jewish girl who hid with her family from the Nazi occupation in Amsterdam has been depicted in theater and in film, it's never been told in song.

I'll give them one thing: Isabella Castillo, the 13-year-old Cuban-born girl who will play Anne Frank, is absolutely adorable. And she has spoken of the moving experience of visiting Anne Frank's house and the Anne Frank Foundation. Here she is in front of the Anne Frank tree.

And it is impressive that the musical's producers even have the blessings of The Anne Frank Foundation. Those are the same people who once rejected Steven Spielberg. … continue reading

It's no secret around here that recycled ideas are often, well, garbage. Many of us suffered through Bionic Woman (which even Katee Sackhoff couldn't rescue), I'd guess that very few of us bothered to suffer through Catherine Zeta-Jones in the unnecessary No Reservations, and scribegrrrl and Malinda have already expressed apprehension about plans for a new Barbarella. So Moviefone's recent "25 Worst Movie Remakes of All Time" is a little bit like shooting (already dead) fish in a barrel — fun, perhaps, but also depressing, kind of like 101 Dalmatians, which made No. 11 on the list.

Fun due to the presence of Glenn Close, with some of the best movie hair around; depressing due to the presence of Glenn Close, who may be the perfect Cruella but who really can do oh-so-much-better. Give me boiled bunnies over yappy puppies any day, Glenn. Better yet, give me power suits and power trips of the non-puppy sort.

Sadly, there are numerous great actors stuck on Moviefone's list. Checking in at No. 20 is The Planet of the Apes, with a furred Helena Bonham Carter missing the quirky target and hitting the just-plain-wrong bull's eye. … continue reading

I'm a sucker for Christmas music.

I say "Christmas" unabashedly, because that's what my Southern Baptist family celebrated. I think I was in high school before I realized that the only reason my Jewish classmates were happy about the holidays was, well, the holidays. (Soon after, I noticed that they got extra holidays, and I contemplated a conversion. At least until my parents found out.) Around the same time, I learned that rather than be offended by Christmas, the Jewish community found it to be a great source of humor. … continue reading

Earlier this week, while lying in bed bemoaning an obviously alien virus that had found its way into my system, I began having what many would consider hallucinations. I like to call them figments of my imagination. Seems my twisted brain was bored with the mundane routine I was participating in while trying to recuperate from said illness. When my brain is bored, strange things begin to happen.

In this particular instance, my brain chose to conjure up images of some famous fictional characters in what I can only assume was an effort to nurse me back to health as quickly as possible. Because my therapist says acknowledging and sharing my issues are the first steps in overcoming them, you have unwittingly been invited to tour the odd recesses of my cerebrum. Here then are the fictional women who wandered through my semi-conscious mind in an effort to re-invigorate my ailing body.

1. Mary Poppins — Yes, I said Mary Poppins. I know she's a nanny. She's not a doctor or a nurse or anything else related to any kind of medical professional. But I can't help it. Every time I'm ill, there is a little voice in the back of my head that sounds disturbingly similar to Julie Andrews singing about a spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down. I'm sure my mother is somehow to blame for this.

… continue reading

When you wish upon a star, if you ask nicely, they’ll dress up like Disney characters and pose for you. The second round of images from famed celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz’s Disney ad campaign came out this week. While they're not nearly as trippy as the Beyoncé, Lyle Lovett and Oliver Platt teacup of insanity from last time, they’re even more dreamy. Like Rachel Weisz as Snow White dreamy.

I’ve got to give it to Annie: Rachel was an inspired bit of casting. In fact, seeing her commune with nature with her raven hair and milky skin, I can’t think of a single other actress that would be better for the part. Look, even Bambi agrees. … continue reading

Ah, classic Disney. A princess, a prince, an evil queen and ... a divorce lawyer? In Disney's new movie, Enchanted, the answer is yes.

Enchanted, due to be released Thanksgiving Day after a long production journey, combines animation and live action to tell a fairy tale that Patrick Dempsey, who plays Robert the lawyer, calls "a love letter to Disney." The story begins in Andalasia, an animated world reminiscent of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Handsome Prince Edward (James Marsden) falls in love with the lovely Princess Giselle (Amy Adams). … continue reading

According to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, "[t]hat is the question that only you can answer!" As long as you live in Canada, that is. Next year, the Andrew Lloyd Webber/David Ian production of Rodgers and Hammerstein's The Sound of Music will make its North American debut in Toronto. And the role of Maria von Trapp will be cast the same way the West End version's was: via a reality show titled How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

I have mixed feelings about this. Mostly, I find it horrifying to watch the American Idol-ification of musical theater. But as critical and dismissive as I'm inclined to be, I cannot ignore the fact that the West End production has been not only a commercial success, but a critical success as well.

The format of the BBC show was somewhat similar to the format of American Idol. The producers held open auditions and selected approximately 50 aspiring Marias to attend "Maria School." Eventually this group was winnowed down to 10 aspiring Marias who were given catchy nicknames such as "Sexy Maria," "Tomboy Maria" and "Romanian Maria."

One Maria was eliminated each week until voters eventually chose "Telesales/Intense Maria," Connie Fisher. … continue reading

This week saw the release of the Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There at the Venice Film Festival. For months now, it's received media attention and a healthy dose of skepticism (even around here). You may remember why — it's the one where Cate Blanchett morphs from this:

to this:

Blanchett's among several actors playing Dylan, but so far, her portayal is generating the most buzz (and Oscar speculation). Director Todd Haynes explains his unconventional casting as a "radical device" to emphasize "how extraordinary and eccentric" Dylan appeared to his contemporaries. (Personally, I don't find it that much of a stretch — I saw Dylan a few years back, and I am telling you, anyone could have been up on that stage under that enormous cowboy hat, mumbling the words to his songs.) … continue reading

Last month, Blender published 100 Days That Changed Music, or, in their own humble words, a list of "the most earth–shakingly important days in music, ever."

Assuming they really mean "in Western pop music" (since there is no mention of Mozart or Miriam Makeba), some of the choices are obvious — the Beatles on Ed Sullivan (#1); some are insightful — the birth of free–form FM radio on San Francisco's KMPX (#39); and some are amusing — Prince poses in black undies (#14). Most of them are markedly lacking in any awareness of or respect for the contributions of women. Instead, we get Janet Jackson's "Nipplegate" (#94), Tiffany at the mall (#57), and Madonna on a wedding cake (#19).

In other words, the "era of decency," mall marketing, and a garter belt. Britney is the only other solo female artist to get a nod, but the #13 entry is about her break-up with JT and consists of a litany of his subsequent successes and her subsequent failures and embarrassments, primarily personal rather than musical.

A few bands with women make the list (Starship, ABBA), but the Velvet Underground nod fails to mention that December 11, 1965 wasn't their first show, but their first with drummer Maureen Tucker, and the Ronettes entry is actually about Phil Spector rather than the original girl group or Ronnie Spector's fantastic voice.

Basically, Blender's got respect for Muzak, Jägermeister and Kiss's makeup, but not for Billie, Bonnie or even Beyonce. I'm no music historian, but there have got to be some key moments missing. Here are a few that I would consider for inclusion, in chronological order: … continue reading

I just read a piece of theater-casting news that made me very happy. Marni Nixon has been cast as Mrs. Higgins (mother to Henry) in the American tour of the Trevor Nunn production of My Fair Lady, which is reputed to be quite good.

This makes me happy because there's something so karmically right in casting Marni Nixon in this role. (I guess this is where the average non-musical-theater geek asks, "Who's Marni Nixon?")

Well, in her first on-screen performance, she played the nun in The Sound of Music who noted (regarding Julie Andrews' Maria), "She always seems to be in trouble, doesn't she?"

But Nixon is best known as the off-screen, uncredited voice of some of the biggest movie musicals of the 1940s, '50s and '60s. She sang for Deborah Kerr in The King and I (1956), Natalie Wood in West Side Story (1961) and Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady (1964). Therefore, casting her in a live production of My Fair Lady is an absolutely wonderful incidence of what thelinster calls "meta-casting" — casting someone with a previous, significant connection to either the material or other cast members. … continue reading

I rarely make a point of buying DVDs the day they're released, but this Tuesday I'll be first in line to buy Season 2 of The Muppet Show — assuming that anyone else inclined to wait in line holds off until I have a chance to run out at lunch. But if quality dictated demand, there would already be people dressed like Gonzo and Miss Piggy waiting in lawn chairs and sleeping bags outside Virgin Megastores everywhere.

To give you a taste of what's so fun about the Muppets, here's a clip from one of the extras on the DVD, The Muppet Valentine Show (1974): … continue reading

Like the rest of the world, Julie Andrews misses her voice.

In a new interview, Andrews confesses that she still feels the loss of her "freak four-octave voice." I for one consider it an extreme tragedy that her magnificent instrument was taken away when she should have had years of singing left. It's an unimaginable injustice — no matter how big the settlement was. But she seems to be coping pretty well, I guess. She's now writing children's books and directing.

"My daughter, the one that I write with, said something so lovely. I was bemoaning the fact that I wasn’t singing and how much I missed it. And she said, 'Mom, you’ve just found a different way of using your voice by writing.' It made me feel so much better. ... I do miss singing with an orchestra, the beauty of it all. I miss the music. But at least I am able to still contribute, which is lovely.”

Sigh. Yes, and Andrews herself is still lovely. When I was a kid, I was sure she was gay. She just had to be: I loved her too much. I thought the sheer force of my affection might make her a lesbian. Besides, how could she look this good in a tuxedo and not be gay? I wanted her to sweep me off my feet and teach me the do-re-mi's of sapphic bliss. … continue reading