I’ve always thought Tilda Swinton was a fascinating woman, but ever since the Oscars, I’ve upgraded her to amazing. While the fashionistas ripped her makeup-free face and Hefty-bag chic, I though she was one of the most striking women on the red carpet (OK, fine, the trash bag was weird, but she still managed to almost pull it off). That blaze of red hair and those porcelain angles make it nearly impossible not to stop and stare. And have I mentioned the suits?

Tilda graces the cover of Out magazine’s April “Transgender Issue.” While the Oscar-winning actress isn’t trans, she does delightfully blur the boundaries with her style, attitude and roles. Anyone who saw her in 1992’s avant garde epic Orlando knows she can gender-bend with the best of them. Also, sweet fancy Moses, does she ever look good in a suit.

And what’s great about Tilda is that the more I read about her, the more amazing she becomes. Like, what did she want to eat during her Out interview? Mashed potatoes or “anything I can eat with a teaspoon, basically. I’m not really up to a fork.” How delightfully weird. But there’s nothing weird about Tilda’s take on making art.

“I’ve never been comfortable calling myself an actress or an actor. It sounds pretentious to say, but it’s actually me trying not to be pretentious. I just don’t know how to act, particularly. I think of myself more as an artist’s model than anything.”

That self-analysis may be one of the best descriptions of her I’ve ever read. Throughout her career, Tilda has tended to make art, and not necessarily entertainment. Her films are sometimes difficult to watch, sometimes bordering on awful. But she has this way of turning herself into a canvas where the character paints itself with bright, vibrant tones. … continue reading

Who you calling unfunny? Vanity Fair took its sweet time, but after more than a year of letting the anvil of an essay “Why Women Aren’t Funny” weigh down the discourse, the magazine finally issued its own rebuttal with its April cover story, “Who Says Women Aren't Funny?” And to prove that point, it assembled some of the most sparkling female wits for a photoshoot with famed photographer Annie Leibovitz.

Yes, Amy Poehler appears to be grabbing Tina Fey’s boob. You really can’t argue with comedy genius like that. Answering the call to funny alongside them were Sandra Bernhard, Susie Essman, Jenna Fischer, Chelsea Handler, Leslie Mann, Maya Rudolph, Amy Sedaris, Sarah Silverman, Wanda Sykes and Kristen Wiig. I’m going to need a moment to soak in all this concentrated hilarious. Seriously, my sides are starting to hurt from phantom laughter just looking at them.

In response to (resisting the urge to use a profane adjective) columnist Christopher Hitchens’ decidedly unfunny article about why women are the unfunnier sex, New York Times TV critic Alessandra Stanley has penned a footnote-worthy essay that touches on everything from English novelist George Meredith to Virginia Woolf to tribes in Papua New Guinea. To which I say, sure, but where do the rubber chickens fit in? … continue reading

Every sexy young starlet who comes along has a bit of a Marilyn Monroe complex. Such is the unattainable legacy of leaving this mortal coil before one’s time. But besides the flat-put imitators and (rest her troubled soul) Anna Nicole Smith, few have stepped so audaciously into the iconic sex symbol’s footsteps as Lindsay Lohan did recently. You see, Lindsay, the promising redhead turned paparazzi princess turned rehab veteran, has re-created Marilyn’s famed last photo shoot with its original photographer Bert Stern for New York magazine.

A troubled starlet imitating a doomed starlet? Oh, dear. While it’s admirable to want to emulate Marilyn’s legend, something seems untoward about a young woman with admitted substance abuse issues so happily reprising the icon’s final days. Marilyn’s 1962 photo shoot, simply called “The Last Sitting,” was completed just six weeks before her death from an apparent barbiturate overdose.

No nudity was spared for Lindsay’s shoot, though thankfully the booze that flowed freely during the original sessions was acutely absent at the re-creations. (See the full set here, but I’m not kidding about the nudity — it’s NSFW. And P.S., we’ve also edited out the naughtiest bits in this post for your safe-for-all-ages AfterEllen.com viewing pleasure.) … continue reading

There’s a half-funny, half-embarrassing story concerning me and women on the cover of magazines. It involves the year 1998, a newsagent, Denise Richards, a copy of FHM, and my firm insistence — to a male friend of mine who happened across me browsing — that I didn’t realize FHM was a men’s magazine. I think he believed me ... just about.

Nevertheless, for most of my teen years I didn’t dare to cast more than a furtive eye in the direction of the men’s magazine section. Fortunately, they’re not the only magazines to feature lots of glamorous women. In fact, one of my favorite magazine covers was from around the same period as the FHM fiasco, in 1997:

Now, I couldn’t care less about Cameron Diaz, but Kate Winslet and Claire Danes in the same frame? Be still, my beating teenage Titanic- and My So-Called Life–loving heart!

What I didn’t realize at the time was that this cover was part of what has become an annual series for Vanity Fair’s Hollywood Issue, by a rather well-known photographer named Annie Leibovitz. VanityFair.com is currently running a retrospective of these foldout covers (which typically entice you in with three beautiful women on the front, and then open out to reveal about seven more). That means you can time-travel all the way back to the first one in 1995:

Um. Yes. Normally I think that the expression “legs for days” is an exaggeration, but in the case of Uma Thurman (pictured second from left), it might actually be true. And I’m not even going to get started on that picture of Nicole Kidman.

Also online is the latest cover, for 2008: … continue reading

I should stop saying that I couldn't love Sarah Silverman more. Because almost every time I come across a new photo or quip, I end up loving her more.

Her latest instance of lovability is the cover story in the February issue of Wired, "Why Things Suck!"

Silverman helps the Wired editors rant about such sucky things as plastic packaging, Evite, air travel, whiteboards and subscription cards in magazines like Wired. … continue reading

I’ve decided that Photoshop has destroyed our perception of beauty. There, I’ve said it. Many of you might disagree, but please hear me out. Photoshop is am amazing invention. I bow to all those with superior Photoshopping skills. Heck, I wish I had them. But at some point, when it comes to representing actual human beings, enough is enough. This isn’t a new complaint, of course. Poor Faith Hill was so thoroughly nipped, tucked, sucked and plucked by Redbook in that now-famous Jezebel expose that she probably half expected to get a plastic surgery bill in the mail. But after seeing the recent shots of Demi Moore for V Magazine, my eyes glazed over again as I looked at what some photo editor thought an already beautiful woman should look like.

Apparently, she’s supposed to look like Lucite. Demi Moore is a great looking woman, period. At 45, she is probably in better shape than most women half her age. But these shots, these shots don’t show a healthy, vibrant 45-year-old woman. They don’t show a real woman at all. At any age, our faces — our entire bodies — have lines and contours, ripples and bulges. They have depth and dimension and, yes, imperfections. And often times it’s those imperfections that make us more beautiful. Can you spot an imperfection here? Or any glint of humanity, for that matter?

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It’s Friday. It’s been a long week at work/school/that place you call “the office” that is really your best friend’s basement where you eat Cheetos and play Wii Tennis all afternoon. So probably the last thing you want to do right now is put your cranky pants back on over your uppity underoos. But I feel a little redressing is in order so we can give the latest Playboy cover the dressing-down it deserves.

Now, obviously, we’ve given a friendly AfterEllen.com how-do-you-do to the naughtiest bits, but you get the gist. Former Playmate of the Year Tiffany Fallon has been painted to look like Wonder Woman. The accompanying text (link NSFW) in the magazine reads:

“You know the painted lady on our cover as Playmate of the Year 2005 Tiffany Fallon, but to usher you into the cover story, Sex in America, we recast her as that champion of truth, justice and American Sensuality, Wonder Woman. Tiffany, a modern-day Lynda Carter, has been honing her TV skills. She appeared on TV’s The Simple Life with Paris Hilton, became a weekly co-host for the International Fight League’s Battle Ground and accompanied her country music star husband, Joe Don Rooney of Rascal Flatts (Still Feels Good is in stores now), to numerous awards shows. What’s next? 'I’ve been filming The Celebrity Apprentice,' says Tiffany. 'At first I was intimidated because I was one of the youngest contestants. But I brought a fresh outlook to the tasks. I can’t tell you much more, you’ll have to watch.' If this wonderful woman is involved, we’ll have our eyes glued.”

Gosh, where to start? Never mind that she is portraying one of our most iconic female superheroes. Never mind that it’s meant to illustrate “Sex in America.” Never mind that she is taking skintight to ridiculously literal extremes. Actually, I really, really do mind all of those things. But what I mind most is the assertion that Ms. Fallon is somehow a “champion of truth, justice and American Sensuality,” not to mention a “modern-day Lynda Carter,” based on the resume presented in the blurb. … continue reading

I'm a geek worshipper. It's really a form of positive self-esteem, since I am kind of a geek myself. I always love to find women in entertainment who seem to be geeks, not only in the characters they play, but also in real life. GeekSugar.com shares that sentiment and has kicked off a poll of the most popular female geeks of 2007.

First candidate: Mary Lynn Rajskub, Chloe O'Brian on 24.

The pictures are from her spread in Geek Monthly earlier this year. Although Chloe is an übergeek on 24, always able to hack into secret data just in time to save Jack's life, Rajskub herself is not too technically savvy. But in my opinion, she has geek cred because she does things like appear as a troubadour on Gilmore Girls and volunteer for the Young Storytellers Program. I do have one geekish issue with Chloe & company, though. Are we really supposed to believe that a government agency is smart enough to use Macs? … continue reading

I know I can’t be the only one who was a little disappointed the subject line didn’t read “Tina Fey poses for Playboy.” But I digress, already. That’s, like, a land speed record. OK, seriously, back to Tina Fey and why she is the coolest straight woman on the planet. Bold statements, I make them. And Tina makes them too. In an interview for the January issue of Playboy, the 30 Rock star is her usual delightfully candid self.

Paula Abdul “was awful” on Saturday Night Live. Paris Hilton is “a terrible role model and a terrible young woman.” Jessica Alba “has an amazing, gorgeous body.” It’s like she is quoting from the Declaration of Independence: We hold these truths to be self-evident. … continue reading

The folks at Entertainment Weekly like their lists. And their latest list is a big one; so big that it warrants the cover of the print version. Declaring that “It's not about power anymore,” EW has presented us with “The 50 Smartest People in Hollywood.” And guess what? Men are a lot smarter than women. Or, at least, there are a lot more smart men than women in Hollywood. Now, I'm not confident that I counted correctly because, you know, math is hard, but here are the numbers: There's exactly one woman (10 percent) in the top 10, two (8 percent) in the top 25 and 13 (26 percent) in the entire 50.

Meryl Streep, at No. 6, is the smartest woman in Hollywood — because she's managed to have a vibrant career after age 50.

The other 12 women are: 15. Amy Pascal, 26. Stacey Snider, 30. Jodie Foster, 31. Kathleen Kennedy, 32. Thelma Schoonmaker, 33. Angelina Jolie, 38. Diablo Cody, 39. Mary Zophres, 43. Beth Swofford, 45. Cate Blanchett, 47. Amy Powell and 49. Sarah Polley. (You can find the full list with explanations beginning here.) … continue reading

Covers of The Advocate are a tricky business. When I first came out in the late 1980s, the covers always featured men in kind of porn-y poses. The Advocate began featuring women sporadically in the early '90s and eventually moved to a sort of equal balance in recent years. Still, with the exception of 2005, most women featured on the cover of The Advocate are straight — or at least ostensibly straight. (This year, there hasn't been an out lesbian on the cover since February.)

When I got my most recent Advocate in the mail, however, I was not unhappy with the straight woman featured on the cover.

It seems that The Advocate has declared Cate Blanchett (also known as No. 48 on the AfterEllen.com Hot 100 list) the Coolest Straight [Person] of 2007. And I'm not going to argue with that. (AfterElton.com gave a sneak peak of this cover a while back.)

Except for Todd Haynes' gushing (“She's just so cool she calls 'straight' completely into question ... and you can quote me on that.”) about Blanchett's gender-bending turn in I'm Not There, it's not really clear why she warrants specific consideration by The Advocate. … continue reading

You are about to learn a precious secret. No, not The Secret, or whatever self-help magic is making somebody else rich today. This secret will help you get to know a woman quickly, accurately and without pretense. It will give you the insight of a dozen deep conversations at a glance. And it's as easy as one, two, tee.

Yes, the only thing more revealing than a woman's T-shirt is, well, a woman without a T-shirt. But that's a different post. Alyson Hannigan's rubber ducky tee was a gift from John Ritter after he guest-starred on Buffy. Needless to say, Hannigan treasures it.

Hannigan is one of 15 celebrities pictured in EW.com's "15 Stars In Their Favorite T-shirts." You can see Portia de Rossi in her prophetic Iggy shirt in the latest Best Lesbian Week Ever. … continue reading

I think the readers of this site know a little about sexy women. In fact, I would say that we’re experts on the matter. So I believe we’re more than qualified to weight in on Esquire’s choice for this year’s Sexiest Woman Alive. Drum roll, please. Oh, never mind. I know you can see the picture.

Charlize Theron is this year’s sexiest living lady, following recent honorees Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and Angelina Jolie. To which I say, nice choice, fellas. Y’all did good this year. Real good. … continue reading

I like lists. I like to see what other folks call the most this or the best that. I'm often amused by the choices made when discussing the importance of why this or that didn't make the list. But the best part of reading all the lists that are swirling about in cyberspace is the chance to rip them to shreds later on.

Take this one, for example: "15 Taboo-breaking TV moments," brought to you by the folks over at EW.com. First off, I will be among those to readily admit I do not always have complete command of the English language and the grammatical rules included therein. (I'm certain our esteemed editor would be happy to share with you just how true that statement is.) [She does her thing, I tweak it and we all go home happy. — Ed.] However, I must insist that when you put together a list, your title should generally tell the reader what they — er, he or she — will be reading about.

In this case, "taboo-breaking" implies that the list includes television moments that were either controversial or the first of their kind — maybe both. One of the first openly gay characters on network television, for example.

In addition, "moments" implies something other than an entire series run. It implies individual events or episodes, at least in my world. Something like the first lesbian kiss on television, between L.A. Law lawyers C.J. Lamb and Abby Perkins. (I'm still irked that TV's first lesbian kiss didn't involve any actual lesbian characters.)

But neither Billy Crystal as Jodie Dallas nor C.J. and Abby's smooch made the grade as far as EW.com was concerned. So the appearance of one of TV's first gay characters (regardless of how you feel about the stereotypical nature in which that character was portrayed) and the first televised kiss between two women are not taboo-breaking moments? So what does make the list? … continue reading

If you've already read Jamie's incisive blog from last week about Glamour's alarming and hypocritical treatment of the beautiful America Ferrera, you may be in as much need of an antidote as I am. Just in time, via Feministing, I came across a website specifically aiming to counteract the messages that Glamour and so many other media outlets persist in pushing. Here it is: The Adipositivity Project.

The site presents images of women taken by professional photographer Substantia Jones (not her real name, just a darn cool pseudonym), who writes, "The Adipositivity Project: Trying to change attitudes about the aesthetic validity of big women, one fat fanny at a time."

The images are smart, sexy and — as is the point — aesthetically gorgeous. No underhanded insults (Fit Light Yogurt, I'm looking at you), no false hope about Hollywood's love for big women, no unfounded accusations of weight (Ferrera, who points out that she is quite normal-sized, is indeed too small to appear in this crowd of actually large women). The pictures speak for themselves. … continue reading