One of life’s great shared injustices is the yearbook photo. We all had to get them. And — unless they’ve somehow magically found a cure for awkwardness, geekiness and general dorkitude since I was a teenager — most of us dreaded them. For whatever reason, be it bad skin, bad clothes or the steadfast yet ultimately misguided belief in the transformative properties of big bangs, many of us look back at our school pictures and cringe. Or, at the very least, giggle. But you know what? Celebrities had to get them too, just like us mere mortals. Now that is what I call justice.

So, let’s play a little game called Name That Teenager. It’ll be fun; like being back in high school, but already knowing what everyone will look like at the class reunion. Let the games begin:

Among them you have a Rock star, an Alien hunter, an alphaBette and the possible next president of the United States of America.

Give up? … continue reading

Over the weekend, not one, but two celebrities welcomed wee packages of joy into their lives. No, not that kind of wee package of joy, Lindsay Lohan. Geez, I thought you got that straightened out. Still, as word got out that Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera had given birth, I braced for the inevitable. The inevitable being whatever wacky, weird thing they decided to name their kids. Like, say, Tundra or Unicorn or Suri.

Luckily, both Richie and Aguilera decided to go relatively restrained, with Harlow Winter Kate Madden (for Nicole’s little girl) and Max Liron Bratman (for Christina’s little boy).

But other celebrities have been considerably less, shall we say, discreet when naming their offspring. Pilot Inspektor? Fifi Trixibelle? Sage Moonblood? Moxie Crimefighter? (The bad parents being, respectively, Jason Lee, Bob Geldof, Sylvester Stallone and Penn Jillette.) Dudes, do you not love your children? … continue reading

A couple of nights ago at midnight, I watched fireworks from a friend's roof, kissed my girlfriend and thought about the career and personal changes I could make in the new year. Then I decided self-improvement was overrated, and it would be more fun and less work to make resolutions for others. I suspected that my girlfriend wouldn't let me make them for her, so I turned my attention to the powers-that-be in Hollywood and on Broadway. Here's what I resolve they do for women in entertainment in 2008.

Movies

I resolve that the Academy Awards will be less of a celebration of male accomplishment, and more of a recognition of the breadth of accomplishment in Hollywood. Last year, it was great that Ellen DeGeneres hosted the show, but the dearth of female nominees in the directing, writing and producing categories was a wee bit depressing. So I resolve that the Academy nominate at least two women for Best Director. If they need my help, I'll make suggestions: Kasi Lemmons (Talk to Me)

and Sarah Polley (Away From Her).

… continue reading

Sometime over the last decade or so, glasses became cool. And hot. And the world began to see what lesbians always have known: that women who wear glasses are both cool and hot. And downright sexy.

Personally, I'm glad views have changed. As a little tomboy, I resisted glasses as long as I could, to the point of memorizing the eye chart every year so I could pass the vision exam. When I finally was too blind to resist specs any longer, my family was about to move to Texas from Pittsburgh. One of my friends said, "Wow, glasses don't seem very Texan." At the time, I was devastated. Now I know better. Texans with glasses rock. … continue reading

I haven't been to the theater for about a month and am starting to experience withdrawal. In an effort to stave off physical symptoms, I searched the arts section of The New York Times for interesting theater articles. I came across this one by theater critic Charles Isherwood. Without rehashing the entire article, it's basically Isherwood observing that while actors used to go from Broadway to Hollywood, it's now more common to go from Hollywood to Broadway. He highlights Claire Danes as an example of the new trend and Amy Ryan as an anomalous exception.

Three guesses which model I prefer.

I had actually been thinking about these two actresses prior to reading the article, so I found it particularly interesting. I've been following the coverage of Claire Danes in Pygmalion — because I like her and I because I feared it was poor casting.

And less than an hour before I read the article, an actor friend had been raving about Amy Ryan's performance in Gone Baby Gone. … continue reading

Jaime Sommers. Supergirl. Sarah Walker. Niki Sanders. Sarah Corvus. All women who kick butt on a regular basis on network TV. None have captured my heart in the way that Buffy, Xena and Syd did, but the possibility is there.

We love that these characters are more than beautifully buff bodies. They're real people, with brains and personalities and problems — even dark sides. Other writers have analyzed why strong women are so popular with general audiences, but at AfterEllen.com, we prefer to focus on the women themselves. And their beautifully buff bodies.

Fortunately, we can count on EW.com to have the right list at the right time. Last week's Butt-Kicking Babes is just what the lesbians ordered. The inspired lineup includes the top 24 hard-hittin' hotties of all time. Actually, it started with 22 — with Buffy and Sydney missing. Fan outcry forced revision of the list, and rightly so. Now most of our favorites are there — Ripley, The Bride, Starbuck, Trinity, Kate Austen — along with some great choices that are less obvious. Here are some highlights and choice quotes from EW's notes. … continue reading

With so many interesting new fall TV shows debuting now, Lori and I decided to structure our vlog a little differently moving forward. Rather than a lengthy review of each show, we're just going to hit the highlights of the week in TV and film, organized into the following categories:

Rapid-fire Reviews (kinda like The McLaughlin Report, but gay)
Gaying up Primetime (the best lesbian moment that wasn't)
Who thought that was a good idea? (the rant)
The Casting Couch (cool new film or TV casting news)
AfterEllen.com Soundbites (funny comments on the site about TV and film)
What to Watch (our pick of what's coming up on TV and at the theaters)

Among the TV topics we cover this week are the premieres of Top Model, K-Ville, and Survivor: China; our love of Bones; the revamped Bionic Woman pilot; and Gossip Girl's lesbian moment that wasn't.

We also discuss Zoe Saldana in the new Star Trek movie, what's wrong with the trailer for the upcoming movie The Kingdom, and why Lori plans to see Resident Evil: Extinction (opening this weekend).

… continue reading

Plus, a special appearance by Sydney Bristow, and Lori gets in trouble for revealing how much I like the cheesy ballet movie Center Stage (2000).

I'll admit it: I sometimes have a difficult time distinguishing actors from their roles. I know that if I were to see Erin Daniels on the street, I'd say, "Oh, my God! You're alive!" And if Elizabeth Mitchell were to cross my path, I'd wonder why the jungle had turned to concrete — or, more likely, where Dr. Weaver is. But I don't think my occasional inability to separate fantasy from reality is the reason I can't get my head around the idea of Jennifer Garner creating a daytime talk show. I mean, daytime on which continent in which hemisphere?

… continue reading

To me, she just doesn't seem like the daytime type. But Garner and Lauren Sanchez-Whitesell (the former host of So You Think You Can Dance) are hoping to produce something they call "The View for mothers."

Although we AfterEllen bloggers don't have any interest in becoming the next Perez Hilton — because, well, we're just cooler than that — we do occasionally peruse the gossip blogs and the Page Sixes (uh, Pages Six?) of the world. So we thought, hey, why not bring you some of the most interesting (and slightly less trashy) tidbits, all in one post for your gossipy pleasure? Consider this the first "gossip aggregator" post, or Gaggregator for short. If you like it, we'll try to do it a couple of times a week.

This just in: Right after I posted the first version of this, TMZ reported that Ellen DeGeneres has hurt her back and will do this week's shows from a hospital bed. We know the show must go on, Ellen, but really: You should give yourself a break once in a while. I could have told you the coffeetable-straddling would get to you eventually!

1. The New York Post is reporting that Roseanne Barr might replace Rosie O'Donnell on The View.

The Post also lists other possibilities, like Whoopi Goldberg and Bette Midler. Actually, Roseanne's not a bad idea — she really held her own on Bill Maher's show a while ago. But I must repeat my Sherri Shepherd plea. Also, how about Nora Dunn, doing her Pat Stevens character? … continue reading