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Shear Genius

"Shear Genius" mini-cap: the stylists do their best Marge Simpsons and Betty Boops

Last year Shear Genius was a bit of a surprise success for Bravo, and it rattled queer viewers, too, because it was, perhaps, the gayest television show in the history of the whole wide world. There were gay male hairstylists (standard); lesbian hairstylists (who knew?); a lesbian judge (who may or may not be Shane McCutheon's doppelganger); and a gay male host whose thick Danish accent prevented me from understanding a word he said to anyone ever. (I may have to obtain a Babel Fish to understand him properly this season.)

But first, a confession: I have never paid $500 for a haircut. In fact, I do not even pay for haircuts. My, er, stylist, Jemma from Great Clips, cuts my hair for free because I taught her son to read. Meaning that I loaded him up with about 50 issues of Marvel's Ultimate Spider-Man, and now he can turn off the television for a full 40 minutes at a time. My hairstyles vary from shoulder-length brown, to three inches below shoulder-length brown, and my perpetual styling request is that the shortest layer be long enough to go effortlessly into a ponytail. Which is all to say that I am not qualified to recap this show — but here we are.

Let me tell you how this beast operates; then I'll introduce you to our contestants, judges and Charlie's Angel.

Each episode will feature not one, but two challenges: the Short Cut Challenge and the Elimination Challenge. The first tests technical hairstyling ability; the second tests creativity and advanced skills. I have no idea what the difference is between those two things, but last season contestants would often win the Short Cut Challenge only to lose the Elimination Challenge and be sent home. It’s like my great-grandmother used to say: cocky scissors do not a Shear Genius make.

Our host is Charlie’s Angel, K-Mart sunglasses designer Jaclyn Smith, and she has lovely hair indeed. The contestants' mentor is Rene Fris, with the accent. The judges are Kim Vo, who takes responsibility for Britney Spears's hair in the first 2 minutes of the show, and Kelly Atterton, the west coast editor of Allure magazine.

The contestants are: [deep breath] lesbian hairstylist Dee Adams from Miami; Charlie from Denver whose Bravo.com sixty-second interview made me think he is going to be the purveyor of much drama; Daniel from Dallas who once styled hair on a cruise ship; Gail from trendy Columbus, Ohio who traded dreams of being a doctor for the hope of being a stylist; Glenn from Decatur, Alabama whose accent I am quite comfortable with, being a Georgia girl myself; Matthew from Dallas who said "wife" about sixteen times in his Bravo.com sixty-second bio (HE'S NOT GAY. HE HAS A WIFE); Meredith from Chicago who looks like a really made-up Angela Kinsey; Nekissa from Concord, CA who has owned her own salon for two years; Nicole from NYC whose bio says that she teaches classes at the nation's biggest hair shows (I assume they mean the shows are big, not the hair — but a big hair show could be fun, too, I suppose — especially in a place like Nashville at a cotillion or the Miss Tennessee pageant.); Oshun from Los Angeles who styles hair for the NBC soap Passions; Parker from West Palm Beach who started out as a sculptor; and Paolo whose studio is called — I'm not making this up —Ego Mechanix. [/deep breath] … continue reading

 
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The out stylist on "Shear Genius" has a message for faux-hawk fans.
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"Shear Genius," "Miami Ink," Madonna, "3Way," "A Sister's Kiss" and more.

TV alert: Daisy makes it to the finale of Bravo's "Shear Genius" tonight

A month and a half ago when Bravo's latest designer reality show, Shear Genius, premiered, the series featured not one but two out lesbian contestants, Daisy and Tabatha. Tonight on the series finale, Daisy has made it into the final three, and she's about to show us whether lesbians are every bit as good at cutting hair as (gay) men.

… continue reading

On tonight's finale, Vidal Sassoon, the "godfather of hair" (as Bravo's press release describes him — and hey, I might even agree with them), will join the judging panel to determine who is worthy of being deemed a "shear genius." The three finalists, 40-year-old Anthony from England (who now lives in Manhattan Beach, Calif.), 32-year-old "rock and roll stylist" Ben, and 31-year-old Miami lesbian Daisy will face a three-tiered final challenge.

 
Bravo's "Shear Genius" features two out lesbian stylists.

Bad hair jokes are flying

Bravo's premiering another reality show tonight, Shear Genius, in which "a group of talented hairstylists from around the world will literally go head-to-head in creative challenges" in order to be "crowned a 'Shear Genius.'" Bad puns are already flying: "Some will get 'cut' early and others will 'blow away' the competition." (By the way, the series is hosted by Jaclyn Smith — you know her either as Kelly on the original Charlie's Angels or as a Kmart clothing designer.)

Is it a good show? Well, the New York Times called it "dull," but I'm a bit intrigued. I have a fascination with hair. And besides, the head judge is Sally Hershberger, who, rumor has it, was the inspiration for the character of Shane on The L Word (That's Hershberger in that photo, not Shane!).

She has a long roster of celebrity clients including Sandra Bullock, Gina Gershon and Hillary Clinton (!), and she was the force behind Meg Ryan's signature cut. Check out this New York magazine article about Hershberger and her New York salon, where you too can get a $600 haircut (maybe, if you're important enough).

Oh yeah, and since this is Bravo, there are some openly gay contestants. Look for a profile of stylists Daisy and Tabatha next week. Shear Genius premieres tonight at 11 p.m. ET on Bravo.

 

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