It's still a year or two down the road, but a musical version of Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City is slated to head to Broadway — with a possible stop in San Francisco along the way.

The Tales of the City series, which spanned seven books and three miniseries, began as a serial in The San Francisco Chronicle in the '70s. It told the story of Mary Ann Singleton, a secretary who never returned to Cleveland after a vacation in San Francisco, and the “family” she found in her new digs at 28 Barbary Lane on Russian Hill. Her family members included Michael “Mouse” Tolliver, her gay best friend; Mona Ramsey, Michael's sometimes-lesbian roommate; Brian Hawkins, '70s straight guy on the prowl (and her future husband); and Anna Madrigal, the transgender “mother of them all” who grew pot in her garden and taped joints to apartment doors as gifts for her “children.”

The creative team certainly has the credentials to keep the show gay enough. Tony Award winner Jeff Whitty is slated to write the book. If you're not familiar with his work in Avenue Q, check out the opening number.

(Whitty didn't write the music and lyrics, but he clearly had a lot to do with the campy gay sensibility.) The musical team will consist of John Garden and Jason Sellards (Scissor Sisters), so it's likely that the show will have some era-appropriate disco influences.

The story has so many intricate story lines that some will clearly have to go. Obviously I hope the lesbian plot remains. (Mona's ex-lover, D'or — a white woman who's passing as black for the sake of her modeling career — moves back to the Bay Area to win back Mona.) Perhaps they can do without the story of the closeted gay husband of the socialite (pregnant by the Chinese deliveryman) hooking up with the socialite's gynecologist at the baths. Or maybe they'll downplay Brian's endless quest to get laid. But they have to keep Mary Ann's doomed romance with the vitamin salesman/private investigator/child pornographer. (I won't tell you how that ends.)

I can imagine lots about the show: a set featuring the Barbary Lane steps with the Golden Gate Bridge and Transamerica building in the background, an opening number about Cleveland, perhaps a song and dance number with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. But what I cannot picture is the casting. The original miniseries was so perfectly cast that I cannot fathom seeing others in the roles.

First, there was Laura Linney as Mary Ann. … continue reading

You know that saying, “Looks good on paper”? Everything about The Return of Jezebel James looked good on paper. Bring together the original Queen of the Indies Parker Posey, Six Feet Under darling Lauren Ambrose and Gilmore Girls mastermind Amy Sherman-Palladino and, on paper, the result should be sheer genius. But, in reality, oh dear no.

The show's two-episode premiere last Friday showed us the sad reality of potential unmet as set to the tone-deafening clatter of a laugh track. The setup is pretty simple. A pair of estranged sisters reunite when the older sister Sarah (Parker), an uptight children’s book editor, asks her younger sister Coco (Lauren), a directionless slacker, to be her surrogate. At this point you might be thinking, hey, the whole surrogacy thing worked for Juno. At this point, you would be wrong.

Jezebel James fails to work as either a zany odd-couple comedy or a touching sister-bonding story. The characters feel flat and forced, the dialogue is smug instead of snappy. Were there funny moments? Sure; this is still Amy and Parker and Lauren we’re talking about here. But the potential was so tangible, it makes the show's inevitable weaknesses even more glaring. … continue reading

Doesn't it suck when things that seem so, so great end up going so, so horribly wrong? No, I'm not talking about Eliot Spitzer, though that certainly is disheartening. I'm talking about The Return of Jezebel James, the new series from Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino. It stars Parker Posey, Lauren Ambrose and Dianne Weist. The premiere is tonight at 8/7c on Fox.

But that litany of great names might add up to nothing. The reviews and promo clips are not pretty. Says the L.A. Times,

The problem is that from these folks you expect a fascinating female lead, but you get instead every uptight, cellphone-clenching, relationship-avoiding, food-issue-riven working woman you've ever seen (and never met).

Uh-oh. Plus, there's a laugh track, which ... why? The Boston Globe notes that the show's stars deserve better:

With her soft deadpan and her renegade vibe, [Ambrose] doesn't belong within a mile of a laugh track. ... Posey, so adept at being both ironic and sympathetic, is no better off in this unfunny mire.

Sigh. Still, I'll probably tune in, and maybe it will be better than it sounds. Or at least better than reading one more headline about Spitzer.

On Saturday, Lifetime offers the return of Alyssa Milano, in Wisegal. She plays a young widow who ascends to power in the mob. I dunno, Lifetime, that's not a very impressive title — why not something like Mother, May I Sleep With the Mob Now That My Husband Is Neither My Stepson nor My Lover?

Milano also produced the film. The Lifetime website has a gallery called "Alyssa Milano: Through the Years" to keep you entertained until Wisegal debuts. It includes this cute photo: … continue reading

Well, this is just depressing. And no, I don't mean this eye-crossing wardrobe malfunction. Coordinating outfits isn't just for lesbian twins, girls.

It's bad enough that Gilmore Girls is off the air (and that its last two seasons were senselessly awful); it's bad enough that some humorless moron thought TV audiences wouldn't understand that Amy Sherman-Palladino is funny without mutilating setting her snappy bantering dialogue to a laugh track. Now, the Ausiello Report brings grim tidings that the original order for 13 episodes of The Return of Jezebel James — our only hope for the return of Palladino's humor and the presence of Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose on our TVs — has been slashed to seven. … continue reading

When Gilmore Girls said goodbye, many of us were left wondering when the show's creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino, would be back. We don't have much longer to wait. Her new effort, The Return of Jezebel James, is part of Fox's fall lineup. Add Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose to the mix as the show's stars, and many of us have been eagerly anticipating the show's arrival.

Then, throw in the news from TVGuide.com that yet another Oscar-winning actress is making her way to TV land. That's right, Oscar winner, Broadway star, and frequent character mom Dianne Wiest is playing mom to Posey and Ambrose.

… continue reading

Of the many interesting offerings coming to a TV near you this fall (Hello, Bionic Woman. Nice to meet you, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Come sit next to me, Pushing Daisies.), one I’ve most breathlessly anticipated is The Return of Jezebel James. My excitement can be summed up in two reasons: Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose. OK, one more: Amy Sherman-Palladino.

Parker and Lauren teaming up in a laughfest by Gilmores Girls creator Sherman-Palladino? How could it not be brilliant? How? But after seeing promo clips for the new show, I went from delighted squeals to a deflated confusion. I wouldn't call it bad, but alas, it’s nowhere near brilliant. At least not yet. … continue reading

Entertainment Weekly recently issued a list of the 25 best action movies. I skimmed it so fast, I almost sprained something, because very few of the movies appealed to me. I'm just not big on big exploding things. There are exceptions, of course (like The Matrix and the original Star Wars trilogy), but I tend to prefer films in which character development prevails over plot development — or at least doesn't disappear entirely in a flaming fireball or a rain of bullets.

So here's my list of inaction movies. In these films, the fireworks occur inside the characters' heads. Maybe the characters talk a lot; or maybe they think a lot but say very little; or maybe they actually do a lot, but the doing is less important than how they feel about what they've done. Or maybe it's not so much about a lack of action as an abundance of brain activity. Or maybe I'm overthinking it. Nah! Anyway, here they are. (The quintessential inaction movie is, of course, My Dinner With Andre (1981), but I'm not including it here because, hello? No women.)

13. Clockwatchers (1998)
It's right there in the title: In this movie about temporary office workers, all the characters do is watch the clock and plan to prepare to get ready to change their lives. It's like 9 to 5 on quaaludes. But I can't think of four people I'd rather watch do nothing than Toni Collette, Parker Posey, Lisa Kudrow and Alanna Ubach (she also happens to be my favorite part of Legally Blonde). Don't miss Debra Jo Rupp (the mom from That '70s Show) as the paranoid, pernicious head of personnel.

The trailer even crows, "In a world where nothing ever happens ..." … continue reading

Today Fox and The CW announced their fall lineups, and one of the first things you might notice (due to its marked absence) is that Veronica Mars didn't make the cut. The CW hasn't included the low-rated but critically celebrated drama in their fall lineup. Remember when Veronica investigated the case of the gay cheerleader? R.I.P., Ms. Mars?

Among Fox's new fall lineup is one series that I am highly anticipating, The Sarah Connor Chronicles, starring Lena Headey (Imagine Me & You) in the title role that Linda Hamilton made famous.

According to the press release, here's what you can expect: … continue reading

At the end of “Terminator 2: Judgment Day,” Sarah vanquished the liquid metal Terminator sent from the future to kill her teenage son, John. Sarah and John now find themselves alone in a very dangerous, complicated world.

In a recent interview with The Los Angeles Times, indie film goddess Parker Posey discussed seven "iconic Parker Posey characters" she's played over the years. Her take on the career-defining roles was just as smart, funny, and kooky as the characters themselves. Here's what she had to say about each: … continue reading

1. Jackie O in The House of Yes
"What people say about that performance is 'I don't know anyone who can play crazy like you can,' which I consider a big compliment. I think crazy people are fascinating because they think they are always right. I would love to do that movie again with what I've been through and how I am now. I should get in touch with the writer Wendy MacLeod and see what she has written. That was her Yale thesis project."

2. Mary in Party Girl
"To me that movie was iconic because I made the mistake of saying in the press that I was discovered at the Barney's makeup counter and people didn't think I was a real actress. But it's the Holly Golightly role. There is such an exuberance to her and to me as well during that time because that was the first movie I carried. It's an easy film. You can put it in and it's just light and there is a lot to be said for that. That's a certain kind of risk right now."

by Dorothy Snarker

In this month's issue of Jane magazine, stars from the Sundance Film Festival (uh, wasn't that in January?) answered the question "What‘s your crime?" for a photo shoot. These true confessions came in the form of mug shots spelling out these so-called crimes. The spread yielded nary a felony (OK, Paul Rudd's answer raises an eyebrow ... ), but there were plenty of admissions of bad behavior and nasty habits.

My favorite: Mandy Moore pleading guilty to her crimes against our eardrums as the "Singer of 'Candy.'"

(Click "read more" to see more celebrity infamy.) … continue reading