It’s Valentine’s Day on Super Fun Night, and Kimmie is so psyched to have a Valentine for the first time ever. (That would be her boyfriend James, not her boss Richard!) James brings her roses at work and Richard asks about their big VD plans. They are going to eat dinner at James’ new restaurant, specifically at the chef’s table in the kitchen. (“There’s literally no spot closer to the food,” Kimmie says.) There’s an awkward joke about boning and deboning (fish) before James leaves and Kimmie tells Richard about all the couples things they’ve been doing lately, like buying exercise equipment and then ignoring its presence completely. She thanks Richard for introducing her to James and then does a “victory lap around the office” to show off her bouquet.
First stop: Kendall’s office. Kendall is not impressed. She does, however, join in a little ditty about their being lawyers. Kendall has flowers on her desk, too, but hers were not sent from herself and signed Jonathan Taylor Thomas, as Kimmie has done in the past. Kendall is not interested in who they are from, and she definitely does not want to hear about Kimmie’s “sexy surprise” for James. She acquiesces, though, because she needs a “joke story to tell her doorman” as she “has trouble relating to people in the service industry,” (hilariously terrible) and we are given an amazing gift: Kimmie and James performing a scene from The Phantom of the Opera in her apartment. This show really hits its stride when it embraces Kimmie’s lunacy. I love it.
Kendall begs Kimmie to stop singing and drags her to a lingerie store, offering up a thong. (“I don’t need my butt flossed!” Kimmie says.) Kendall is most concerned about what Kimmie’s roommates will be doing while Kimmie is offering up sexy surprises. (BTW, why can’t they just go to James’ house? BTW again, he is a chef and she is a lawyer. I know they live in NYC, but they probably don’t need roommates.) Kimmie has purchased a 2000 piece cat puzzle for Marika and Helen-Alice but Kendall says she needs to stop solving all her problems with cat puzzles. Instead she says Marika and Helen-Alice can come over to her place for a single ladies’ party she’s hosting. She thinks they can use some “female empowerment.” Kendall offers up some advice: Don’t get too cray about V Day, or you’ll get disappointed. Kimmie ignores her to say this store should sell unicorn onesies — “They really make you horny.”
That night Marika and Helen-Alice are headed to Kendall’s and reminiscing about a party they attended at age 14, where their friend’s parents told her she was adopted. (“She should have known though since both her parents were men!” Helen-Alice says.) HA is without Benji for the night because he’s still allergic to her. She asks Marika if she has “anyone on the horizon,” and there’s a flashback to Frankie G flirting with her at the gym. “So Valentine’s Day. Got any plans?” she asks. “Me?” Marika says. “I’m going to this chick Kendall’s house.” Frankie G touches Marika’s wrist and tells her she’s going to The Iron Skirt with some girlfriends, and tells her she’d love for her to come by. Despite all this, Marika tells Helen-Alice, “Nope, nobody on the love sonar as of present.” The lies are readable on her face!
Kendall’s girls’ night is secretly a sex toy party. The table is strewn with oils and lube bottles and the hostess points to her vagina when she says that tonight is all about “our most important instrument: ourselves.” Marika is pumped. “Let’s get this symphony started!” The glow-in-the dark vibrator Big Ben comes out and it’s clear that Marika and HA are a little out of their element.
Kimmie is panicking because she’s working late. Richard saves the day, though, and says he’ll finish what she needs to get done because he has no plans anyway. He compliments her outfit, a red wrap dress (“Low cut, high cut, price cut!” Kimmie says) and she’s out the door.
The sex toy party hostess is sharing some hot wax tips and Marika says she’d rather feel the burn by “benching two fitty.” She’s going to make some girl a happy lady. Everyone is drawing penis pictures and Marika says hers looks like a clam. Helen-Alice draws from her experience with a calf penis, and she wins a pair of sparkly and fuzzy pink fur handcuffs. She says she’ll use them if she ever has to “arrest someone in a very delicate fashion.” Kendall and her friend make faces at one another like, “This bitch…” Marika asks Helen-Alice if she’s uncomfortable with all the sexy time stuff but HA is actually cool with it. “This sexy stuff is really very interesting!”
At the restaurant, James points out to the workers that he does have a real girlfriend because Kimmie has finally arrived. The head chef is happy to meet her but he is crazy busy. He’s yelling at his sous chefs and James apologizes for the noise. Then he goes back to find out what’s happening and breaks the bad news to Kimmie: He needs to help out in the kitchen for an hour. Kimmie is totally cool about it and says she needs to go set up some stuff at her place anyway so she’ll see him soon. They kiss and Kimmie says, “I love you,” which totally surprises James but he has to get back to the mess in the kitchen.
Over champagne, the women at Kendall’s are playing Never Have I Ever. Kendall says it has to be sex-related so Helen-Alice says, “Never have I ever had sex.” Kendall’s friend says, “Never have I ever kissed a girl.” Everyone tips back except Marika, and Kendall is like, “Oh like you’ve never kissed a girl!” But Marika hasn’t, and she’s shocked HA has. “Ages ago! My cousin at Christmas. My other cousin dared us for $50 each. It was primarily a financial decision.” Kendall makes a face and pours herself more champy.
Richard is being a creep at the office, sighing and staring at a picture of himself with Kimmie. Kimmie is at her apartment, saying things like “Kimbrule” and throwing up confetti. Her apartment is throughly decked out in red and pink hearts. Sadly James calls to say he has to work all night long. (No one saw this coming right?) Kimmie is completely disappointed, offering to call in a bomb threat, but James says thank you, but no. Kimmie goes back to the office to
conveniently see Richard work, because what else is she supposed to do? Richard explains where he’s at with things but Kimmie starts crying. Aw.
Helen-Alice is up in Kendall’s bedroom to buy some things from the sex toy lady while Marika and Kendall sip some drank together in the dining room. Kendall takes this opportunity to say, “I can’t believe that you have never kissed a girl, a sporty girl like you!” Marika says she “never lettered in tonsil hockey,” but Kendall doesn’t believe her. “Nothing to tell!” Marika insists. “Never have, never wanted to. Just, uh, too busy fighting off dudes I guess.” And now, a teachable moment: Kendall says her parents always wanted her to get married and knocked up with a million babies but she never wanted that. She just wants a career and her own helicopter. “I don’t feel bad wanting that because I’m not ashamed of who I really am, and you shouldn’t be either!” Marika shifts uncomfortably in her chair and says, “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.” What she’s getting at is that you are a lesbian and you just don’t know it because you haven’t tried it yet, which is a terrible argument because that is exactly what people’s moms tell them about having sex with dudes when they come out as totally gay and into chicks. (No thanks Mom!) We don’t even know if Marika has kissed a boy, either, so I’m not sure Kendall’s logic is sound.
Anyway, Kendall grabs Marika and kisses her. “What did that feel like?” “Nothing,” Marika says. “Fireworks.” Because if you are a lesbian, kissing any other girl at all will make it all clear.
Marika goes right to The Iron Skirt, finds Frankie G standing very close to the door and plants one on her. “Wow, what was that for?” Frankie asks. “For the last 28 years of my life!” Marika says. Most lesbians would be running away from that statement, but Frankie says, “Let’s get that drink.”
In other kissing situations, Richard gives Kimmie a box of candy hearts from the bodega across the street. He jokes he should have gotten her the frozen pizza and then tries to kiss her. Kimmie freaks out, which seems really out of character, to be honest. Richard follows her on to the street to apologize. “I know you’re with James now and I know this makes no sense, and the last thing I want to do is mess up your life, but I just need to let you know how I feel before it’s too late. I’m saying… come here Bouvier.” A big, long romantic kiss follows and Kimmie does not run from it. Her phone interrupts, though, and it’s James texting, “I love you, too.”
That’s the end of the episode, but we do get another musical performance of “The Phantom of the Opera” with Kimmie, Richard and James. So good.
So we finally have Marika working on figuring herself out a bit, which has been a longtime coming, as has the Richard and Kimmie romance. Next week is the season finale, and with no news yet on a Season 2 pick-up, it could be the end of everyone’s storyline. Will Marika come out to her friends? Will Kimmie pick Richard over James? This penultimate episode was a good set-up for a series finale, but I’ll be honest that I’m invested, now, and I’ll be sad to see it go. There aren’t any characters like this on television, and the women’s friendships are really special and consistently fun to watch. The show’s real love story isn’t about Kimmie and Richard, but Kimmie, Marika and Helen-Alice, and that’s what I’ll miss most if this is the end for Super Fun Night.
Until next week!