Noho House looks boring and Kimmie pretends to know a dessert tray. Helen-Alice and Marika come right up to the table (they came in through the kitchen, borrowing some aprons to go undercover), and remind Kimmie that they have something very important going on tonight. Kendall is all “Oh, is something going on?” trying to get an invite to a cocktail party Bob Saget will be attending. But Kimmie acts brand new about it all, and says “This is a lady-to-lady lunch.” Helen-Alice responds, “I say we make it lady-to- lady-to-lady-to-lady” and Marika is amazing with, “That sounds awesome.”
Kimmie takes her friends aside to tell them she is trying to be more professional, and that includes work lunches with wenches like Kendall. “She’s really nice. She helps the homeless… move away from her building.” Her friends give her one last chance to come home and help them and she tells them to leave. “Ouch. Kimsicle, that was ice cold,” Marika says. For real, Kimberly.
In the office break room Kimmie tells Richard about the fight, and flashback to the time she invited her prison pen pal to come stay with them, which is the best moment of the entire episode. It’s Wanda Sykes shouting from the other room: “You’re not going to tell me to move out, bitch, because I’ll move your fat ass out to the curb with my foot!” So. Good.
Richard tries to explain that friends make you do things you don’t want to do, which sounds terrible and not like friendship. Richard, you are not smart, even with your British accent making it sound like you are.
Kimmie goes home but has not let go of her glasses. They are wearing their old prom dresses and Marika presents her dream of Cookie Prom going worldwide with a cookie launcher and all. Helen-Alice tries to crown Kimmie as this year’s Prom Queen but she’s all, “You’ll ruin my professional hair.” There’s a knock at the door and Kendall waltzes in saying, “Don’t be mad, I know this is an exclusive event but…” She stops and looks around. “This isn’t a cocktail party, is it?” She explains that she thought Kimmie was having one of those with Bob Saget. “What is this?” Kendall asks. (Can someone tell Kendall to lose Kimmie’s address so she can stop popping by and insulting the people that live there EVERY SINGLE WEEK?)
“This is just three ladies sharing cookies in the privacy of their own apartment. No big D.” Kimmie says in her totally profesh voice. I can see her bra on the top of her dress. Then Helen-Alice says, “Yes it is a Big D. It is the biggest D I’ve ever had in my whole life.” (DYING.)
Marika explains Cookie Prom and Kendall says it’s “the saddest event that anyone’s ever thrown.” SERIOUSLY, THROW HER OUT PLEASE. She throws herself out, finally, and Kimmie tries to ask for a lady-to-lady lunch the next day but Kendall is suddenly busy. She leaves but comes back to snap a photo and Marika throws deuces. Soon Kimmie and Helen-Alice are throwing cookies and insults at each other, though, and Kimmie takes one in the eye.
At the hospital, Kimmie has an eye patch and realizes she’s been a total weird bitch to her friends who love her for who she is, and that’s someone who is different from high school. She apologizes for ruining Cookie Prom and Marika decides to come clean: “I like pie way more than cookies.” “If only we would go back in time and tell our high school selves it gets better,” Kimmie says.
Weirdly, two young girls come in limping from a terrible night at Homecoming. Overhearing their story of a terrible night, Marika asks for the address of the rude dudes who made them feel bad. Then they head out to Long Island and the cookie launcher comes in handy.
There were some great moments in this episode but I hope there is no more tension over Kimmie being above Helen-Alice and Marika. We’ve seen that a few different times now and there’s always the same conclusion, just like Kendall is always terrible with no redeeming qualities. But Marika and H-A are lovable, funny women that I always have fun watching. I’m always happy to spend more time with them and their fresh ideas for get-togethers. Seriously, I’m down for a Cookie Prom any night of the week.