“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episodes 2.11 & 2.12


Girls’ Bathroom—Spencer has locked herself in a stall in order to keep Ashley at bay. Ash is now pleading for her forgiveness, and Spence relents. A little. She tells her, “I get that you guys are best friends and you need to feel like you need to be able to him.” Then she opens the stall door so that she can have actual eye contact to deliver the most important part of the message.

Spencer: But don’t you care that it hurts me? What you have with him, is that more important to you than what you have with me?
Ashley: No. I’m sorry. It’s just that Aiden’s already been there with me, so it makes it easier when—
Spencer: When what?
Ashley: When I need to talk to him about us.
Spencer: I just wish it was easier for you to come to me.
Ashley: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
Spencer: Then why do you? I don’t want anymore drama.
Ashley: You know what I want? I want you to wear this.

She offers a slinky bracelet to Spencer, who too quickly offers her wrist. Ash tells her that she wants to get the bracelet engraved. When Spencer asks, “With what?” Ashley says, “It’s a surprise.”

Let’s hope it’s not "Spencer + Ashley = BFF"

Whew! Thank god they finally made up. Now let’s have some make up sex! Hell, at this point I’ll settle for just some make up kissing.

Instead, we see Spencer lightly pecking Ashley on the cheek. Arrrgh.

(If you weren’t paying enough attention to notice the one billionth chaste exchange between these two alleged young lovers, then the next scene will drive the point home via stark contrast.)

Cut to Kyla and Aiden in the throes of some hot and heavy making out. Now these two know how to make up! Kyla relents on her whole born-again virgin thing and agrees to have sex with Aiden. The making out escalates to PG-13 levels when Aiden throws the breaks on everything and puts his shirt back on. (You know it’s bad if Aiden is putting a shirt on.) He simply says, “I can’t” and doesn’t elaborate.

He can’t get into fooling around with Kyla? Maybe I was right all along and he really is gay. I mean, have you seen Kyla in action? Girlfriend is hot!

And now she’s hot and humiliated. She grabs her purse and leaves.

Part Two—“Trouble in Paradise”

King High, The Morning After Nothing Happened—Aiden finds Kyla and wants to know why she hasn’t returned his calls. She reminds him that she left his house feeling embarrassed, and he mumbles something about not meaning for it to happen and it not feeling “right.” Kyla assumes that Aiden is just tying to protect her from herself (i.e. her old, slutty ways), but she reminds him that she can call her own shots. Then they make nice.

Across the way, Spencer and Ashley are on their way out to lunch, and Spence tells her all about Aiden’s inventive technique for asking Kyla to the prom. Ashley can barely hide her weirdness about it all. She snorts, “Aiden will look for any excuse to take off his shirt,” but there’s an edge to her when she says it. Spencer either misses the subtext or tries to pretend it doesn’t bug her. Ashley concludes, “Prom sucks…I’d rather watch my mom do her pole-dancing lessons.”

Spencer begins to back-peddle and convince Ash to stay on campus instead of go out for lunch. We see why she’s doing that as we approach Ashley’s car. It is decked out in balloons and Spencer has scrawled across the windshield, “Will u go 2 prom w/ me?”

Spencer tries to pretend the invitation came from someone else (she suggests “that crazy little freshman that follows you around all the time”, I was thinking it was Prince) but Ashley reminds her that she doesn’t do school dances. Spencer coyly says that she was hoping to change that for her, but Ash doesn’t budge, telling her, “Thanks anyway.”

And she does it in a weirdly unemotional way that makes me want to go find Spencer a nice girlfriend instead of the insensitive little brat that Ashley has become.

Ash asks if she can borrow one of Spencer’s books, and she follows her to her locker. When Spencer opens it, she finds two Spencer and Ashley-esque (or maybe Betty and Veronica 2.0-esque) dolls in a lesbionic clutch, and a card that reads, “Spencer, will u go 2 the stupid prom w/me?”

Spencer goes bonkers and immediately accepts, gives Ash a tame peck on the lips, and then begins playing with the lesbian dolls in a way that is a little weird—weird because she makes the dolls kiss instead of focusing on kissing her real life girlfriend who just invited her to the prom!

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