“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episode 2.5 “That Is So Not Mom”


Ashley’s House— Spencer finds Ashley lounging on her back porch, reading a magazine. Ashley has not yet finished giving her shit about being friends with a shrew like Debby. She asks Spencer, "Did Kyla let you in, or did little Miss Ohio swipe a set of keys the last time she was here?"

Spencer gazes down at Ashley, and it’s obvious that she’s thrilled to finally get some one on one time with her “best friend.” She tells her, “Debby’s gone. I sent her home this morning.”

Spencer settles into the sofa next to Ashley and admits, “I’ve been totally lame these last couple of days.”

Ashley: Thank you. I really needed to hear that. But she’s your friend, and I get it.

Spencer: No, you’re my friend. And I really haven’t been a good friend to you. I don’t know, I was just freaked out that she’d go home and…
Ashley: That she’d say you’re gay?
Spencer: Yeah.
Ashley: She might have. But at least she’d say you have a totally hot girlfriend.

Spencer smiles seductively and says, “I know.” She crawls across the sofa and kisses Ashley passionately as Ashley’s hands—

Whoops. That’s not what happened. That’s what SHOULD have happened.

What REALLY happened is this:

Ashley: She might have. But at least she’d say you have a totally hot girlfriend.

Spencer: (grabbing the magazine and playfully throwing it back at Ashley) Who’s SO full of herself!

Spencer shakes her head in disbelief and Ashley picks up her magazine and starts reading it again.

Yeah. I know.

Chelsea’s Studio (But We Don’t Care Because We’re Still Reeling From the Fact That Spencer and Ashley Didn’t Get a Make Up Kiss Even Though Aiden and Kyla Did the Forbidden Dance and Glen Had Casual Sex With Some Dumb Girl) – Clay and Chelsea are making nice after their tame little tiff. They take turns apologizing to each other and Chelsea admits that she’s going through some serious stuff. When Clay asks if it’s about her going to Paris for school, Chelsea confesses that she’s pregnant.

Clay’s going to need a lot more than his protractor to figure this one out.

Next Week — Paula approaches Spencer’s bedroom in slow motion—like The Terminator hunting down Sarah Connor (complete with Soundtrack of Impending Doom)— and when she opens the door she sees something that makes her scream “Oh my God!”

If we’re lucky we’ll also see what Paula sees, and it just may have us screaming “Oh my God!” too.

But in a good way.

Check out a juicy sneak preview (Kyla and Aiden walk in on Spencer and Ashley!) for next week’s episode here.

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