“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episode 2.5 “That Is So Not Mom”

Gray Bar — Spencer, Ashley, Glen and Deb are hanging out in a booth at Gray. Aiden walks in and Deb immediately begins acting out a scene from Pretty Woman with him. Only she’s not acting. Accustomed as he is to being strung along and rejected by girls, he is put off by her brassy, overt come-on that could actually lead to sex.

Debby takes the rejection hard and falls back into her soulmate’s Glen’s lap.

Debby: What is it, homos get in free night?
Ashley: Hey, WalMart, why don’t you grow up? Not everybody’s as small minded as you are.
Debby: Excuse me? What are you queer too?

Ashley looks like she’s taken a blow to the gut and gathers her things to leave. Spencer tries to stop her and Ashley gives her the hand and a “Don’t.”

Glen snickers and starts thinking about where he and Debby will spend their honeymoon.

Deb: Good! We got rid of the freak.
Spencer: Who are you?
Deb: Your oldest, bestest friend. Duh! You just need some help picking out your new friends.

Spencer: Yeah, because obviously I did a really bad job of picking out the old ones.

Spencer runs out of the bar and Glen makes a big dumb sloppy move on Deb, who eats it up.

Ashley is storming through the parking lot when Spencer calls after her.

Spencer: Stay! She’s drunk.

Ashley: Stop making excuses for her Spencer. It’s okay if I don’t like her. But what’s not okay is that I don’t like you when you’re with her.

Spencer watches Ashley walk away and mutters to herself, “Neither do I.”

Anonymous Fancy Theatre to Which Kyla Somehow Has a Key— Kyla and Aiden leave Gray to do some mysterious thing that Kyla wants to do, and that something turns out to be a tango lesson for Aiden on the stage of an empty theatre. She is Swayze to his Baby, and before you can say, “spaghetti arms” they are dirty dancing up a storm.

Spencer’s Lonely Bedroom— Glen and Deb stumble into Spencer’s room, still buttoning up their clothes after an impromptu dalliance somewhere in the Carlin household. Spencer is understandably grossed out.

Spencer: My brother?
Deb: Oh come on, get over it!

Spencer grabs Deb’s suitcase and begins packing it in a fury, telling her “It is time for you to go!”

The next morning, Deb makes a last ditch plea to smooth things over.

Deb: I can’t believe you’re kicking me out.
Spencer: I can’t believe I didn’t do it any sooner. I just sat there while you treated Ashley like crap. Have you always been this way?
Deb: What way? Spencer, you’ve changed.

Spencer: Yeah, thank God.

Paula is shocked to find out that Spencer has sent Debby DownYourLiqour packing. Spencer tries to keep it simple with “we don’t have that much in common anymore,” but Paula suspects something far, far more sinister.

Paula: Did Ashley hurt her feelings? Because if she did, I’m gonna—
Spencer: Mom! Deb hurt Ashley’s feelings. She was a total drunken nightmare this whole trip, and Ashley was being really cool to her and I just let her down over and over again.

Paula: I had no idea—
Spencer: It doesn’t matter who you fly out here. Ashley’s my best friend, and she’s going to be… whatever you think about her.

Random City Park — Clay and his birth mom make small talk while sitting on a park bench. It’s awkward.

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