“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episode 2.2 “Behind the Music”


Spencer is a little too willing to abandon her own story to topic hop over to Ashley's drama du jour.

Spencer: Do you have any idea how long she'll be staying?
Ashley: No, but even if she left right now it would still be way too long. She was totally hitting on Aiden yesterday.

Repeat after me: Who Cares?

Spencer: Yeah, I think he's got a crush on her too.
Ashley: What? Did he say that?
Spencer: No, he just had that look on her face when he said her name.

Ashley makes a big production of mocking Aiden, and then makes an ominous prediction, "It's totally going to destroy our circle."

Their "circle" is more like the Bermuda Triangle, and I'm all too happy to see it fall off the radar completely. Aiden needs to get his own girlfriend instead of always trying to borrow Spencer's. Or Ashley's.

Spencer, honing her denial skills (just like dad) changes the subject completely.

Spencer: Oh I almost forgot, Friday, we have dinner reservations at 8 pm at Mako.
Ashley: (with a tone) You're planning out dates now?

As opposed to whom, the producers of Next? I never would have pegged Ashley as such a bossy little top! Spencer quickly demures to Mistress.

Spencer: No, but it's your birthday.
Ashley: Right.
Spencer: You don't want to celebrate?
Ashley: My dead Dad and bitch Mom had sex 17 years ago,why would I want to celebrate a mistake? Would you want to celebrate that? I just don't even want to hear the words "happy birthday' let alone have some big fancy dinner.
Spencer: No celebration. Got it.

King High School — Aiden is sleeping on a bench with a book over his face. I'll bet this is the toughest class in his schedule.

Kyla comes over to tell him that she received his invitation to Ashley's party, but that she won't attend. Aiden admits to trying to push the two sisters together because he's suddenly all about family. Kyla's doubtful, and tells him, "I just don't think Ashley would want me at her surprise party."

Spencer and Ashley are walking up behind them just as Kyla says those words. Ooops.

Ashley: You're right, I don't! Then again, I didn't
even know I was having a surprise party. So you've managed to ruin my
life, and my birthday. And you've only been here a couple of weeks —
that's so impressive.

Ashley storms off and Spencer scurries after her with an armful of books. (Is she carrying Ashley's books too?)

Spencer: (weakly) Surprise. Yeah, I'll be calling the
party off.
Ashley: No! Just because Kyla ruined the surprise doesn't mean she gets to ruin the party. Just one thing; she doesn't come.

Spencer takes Ashley's arm and leads her along through a semi-deserted walkway. They stop to gaze at each other.

Spencer: Somehow, I don't think we're going to have to worry about that.

Ashley finally pulls her head out of her ass and takes Spencer's hand, "Thank you so much for being great."

Spencer beams and Ashley pulls her in for a kiss.

What a superfreak. Last week Ashley wouldn't hold Spencer's hand at school, but this week she wants to make out with her while classes are changing? So much for guarding Spencer's closet.

Cut to the Camera Dude from Behind the Music, who's zooming in on their liplock.

Camera Dude: This is gold! Don't stop.
Spencer: Oh my god. You can't put this on TV!

She looks at Ashley, terror flashing in her eyes. But Ashley looks rather pleased at the prospect of appearing on what will now probably be the highest-rated episode of Behind the Music of all time.

King High Boys Locker Room — Sean and Aiden are talking
in the locker room while Aiden flexes his abs. The boys are agog over Ashley's
party, but for completely different reasons.

Sean smirks, "I can't wait to see which one of those sisters backhands you. You're looking for trouble putting yourself between those girls."

King High is a matriarchal society. The girls run their various fiefdoms and occasionally declare war on one another, while the guys preen and get passed around between the girls like Tic Tacs. No wonder Sean advises Aiden to proceed with caution.

Aiden plays innocent, and says he got it "under control", then Kyla suddenly storms into the boys' locker room. Sean scurries away in his towel, and Aiden quickly escorts her back out into the hallway. Whatever Kyla has to say must be pretty important.

Kyla: I just came her to say that I know you and Ashley are good friends and I didn't mean to spoil the surprise.

This couldn't have waited until lunch?

Kyla: You know she looks at you right?
Aiden: What?
Kyla: Oh come on. There's something between you two isn't there?

Aiden changes the subject, then gets on his knees to beg Kyla to come to the party with him. See what I mean? A Tic Tac.

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