“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episode 2.1 “The Morning After”


The Carlin Household — Spencer's parents are still sniping at each other when the doorbell rings. Mother Superior opens the door to a completely distraught Ashley, who asks to see Spencer and then crumples into Paula's arms, sobbing.

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that Paula Carlin's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then the true meaning of kindness came through, and Paula found the strength of ten Catholics, plus two.

Paula tells Arthur to set a place at the table for poor little Ashley. Spencer comes down the stairs to meet her.

Ashley: I'm sorry. (lots of crying)
Spencer: It's okay. You're just going through the worst time right now.
Ashley: No, I'm sorry for not letting you in and letting you help. I'm so bad at this, I'm so bad right now.

Aiden's Car — Aiden and Madison are driving around and Aiden is in the process of blowing her off when she grabs the wheel and nearly causes him to crash. What the hell is she doing? She tells him she's trying to get him to pay attention to her. Madison looks like she's about to cry, Aiden looks like he'd rather have a face full of airbag than continue the conversation. Together, they are in utter misery.

Maybe they just got married in Vegas.

The Carlin Sofa — Later, Ashley seems to be feeling a little better as she sits on the sofa with Spencer. I'm pretty sure that Mother Superior has hidden a nanny cam in one of the cushions. Why else would she allow Spencer to have this potentially conjugal visit from Ashley once the crying jag was over?

Ashley: I don't know how I'd get through any of this without you.
Spencer: (with a teasing smile) You wouldn't. It's so good to see you smile.
Ashley: There's something I have to do.
Spencer: What's that?

No. It's not what you want her to do. She's in mourning for crying out loud! That stuff will have to wait. She's talking about throwing a memorial bash for her departed dad.

Rooftop on the Sunset Strip — Ashley is surrounded by a gaggle of friends—and Glen—as she says a few words about her father. She wants to give him “one last chance to break the rules.” So she's violates all sorts of laws and health codes when she grabs a handful of dad dust (eww) and tosses it about willy nilly over the Strip. The crowd goes wild, and Alexis Carrington Davies arrives just in time to break up the party.

She's brought someone Ashley needs to meet.

Alexis: Ashley, this is Kelly—
Kyla: It's Kyla.
Alexis: Whatever. She claims she has a right to be here.
Ashley: Ok. Did you know my dad?
Kyla: I'm his daughter.

Kyla is grieving too, and she's got a cute deer-in-the-headlights look about her. So I really don't think she deserves the narrowed eyes and flared nostrils that Ashley typically reserves just for Madison. But she's getting them. Spencer's jaw has dropped—literally—and it's unclear what will happen next.

If this were Showtime, Ashley would toss Kyla off the roof and then go have sex with Glen. And Betty would play at their wedding. But this is The N, so we just get a commercial break so everyone can regroup.

Ashley's Bedroom — It turns out that half-sister Kyla will be sharing Ashley's sizeable inheritance per their father's will (which Alexis plans to contest). The money thing is a drag, but Ashley seems to be more upset about having to share grieving daughter status.

Ashley: Way to crash my grief! Who the hell does she think she is?
Spencer: Your sister?
Ashley: No. My nothing. Where do I put this? I am so pissed off at my dad. How could he do this to me? Or Mom? Okay, I understand how he could do it to Mom. But he loved me.
Spencer: Yes, he did. You know, that hasn't changed.
Ashley: Everything's changed! Maybe the girl's just here for the money and when she gets it, she'll leave.
Spencer: Maybe she feels exactly what you do—confused, cheated, sad…
Ashley: Do not shrink me, Spence. She doesn't know how I feel. She doesn't know anything about me.
Spencer: I'm just trying to help you.
Ashley: This is so like him. It's always about the drama. I hate him for this.

Her whack job dad found one last way to disappoint her, and it sucks. On the positive side, all of this additional “drama” requires more comforting from Spencer.

Hey, I'm just looking for the silver-lining.

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